“What do you mean, ‘me’? Dragons give birth to dragons, phoenixes to phoenixes, and mice’s sons know how to dig holes! Your son must’ve learned this from you!” Wang Guihua said, hands on her hips.
“Me? Me what! I’m an honest man…”
“Honest? Honest? Shame on you! You call yourself honest? Back then, didn’t I have to use every trick in the book to charm you? I practically slipped you a love potion, and somehow I ended up agreeing to spend my whole life with this dirty, sloppy guy!” she said bluntly.
“You… you really know how to bring up the worst memories!” Liu Laoshi said awkwardly.
Wang Guihua turned and went into the house, returning with a bundle of joss paper and incense sticks, handing it to Liu Dashao. “Master Dog, do you want your old mama to accompany you?”
“No thanks. It’s broad daylight, and besides, I know the way,” Liu Dashao replied, not wanting anyone else involved—he still needed to pray to his ancestors for protection from evil spirits.
“Fine then. Don’t forget to take good care of my future daughter-in-law! Girls need to be pampered and flattered…” Wang Guihua continued, spewing her advice.
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Liu Dashao impatiently waved his hand, grabbed the bundle, and stepped out the door, leaving behind a mess. His mood was terrible—he had no idea if those spirits would come after him again or what had happened to Tian Guoqiang and the others. He needed to visit their house after burning the paper to check in and figure things out together.
“Oh, and Master Dog!” Just as Liu Dashao was leaving the courtyard with a furrowed brow, Wang Guihua’s reminder rang out again.
“Oh my god, what now?”
“Remember there’s a willow tree next to our ancestral graves. Don’t mix it up and burn incense at someone else’s tomb!”
“Cough… cough…” Liu Dashao felt like choking himself with his own saliva, but he nodded quickly and headed up the mountain path, weaving through the scattered graves.
Wang Guihua had been right—there were mounds of graves everywhere, weathered by wind and rain, making the inscriptions on the tombstones hard to read. But with the willow tree as a reference, Liu Dashao finally found his ancestors’ graves among the many “great uncles.”
The sun was shining brightly, with a gentle breeze now and then, as soothing as a woman giving a back massage—so pleasant that even though Liu Dashao was alone in this desolate graveyard, he didn’t feel particularly nervous.
He pulled out a fire starter, blew hard, and lit the yellow paper spread in front of the tombstone. The flames grew higher, heating his face, as the paper curled and turned into black butterflies, fluttering into the distance.
From the bundle, Liu Dashao took out a few nicely made paper gold ingots and tossed them into the fire. Mimicking the monks he’d seen in operas, he pressed his palms together and bowed after each prayer.
“Ancestors, great uncles, your grandson is having a streak of bad luck, chased by ghosts. Please have mercy and protect me from now on, so I never cross paths with those creatures again. Here are some gold ingots for you to buy some braised pork in the underworld. If you’re still up for it, maybe buy a few young girls to serve you.”
“But let me make one thing clear—don’t think you can just take the money and ignore me! If I end up getting haunted and die, then the Liu family line will end forever. No more offerings for you!” After delivering this half-pleading, half-threatening prayer, Liu Dashao finally sat down to catch his breath and look around.
“They say when a family produces a top scholar, their ancestral graves emit green smoke. If they produce a villain, the smoke turns black. Look at our graves—no green smoke, but no black either. So I must be a pretty decent and innocent guy!” He gazed at the sky, patting himself on the back.
But the moment he said it, trouble came. Suddenly, Liu Dashao noticed the sky darken. Looking down, he saw three thick black smoke columns rising from his ancestors’ graves, as if responding to his words.
“Oh my god! Grandpas, I’m sorry!” Liu Dashao jumped three feet high and fled down the hill.
It turned out—he really was beyond redemption…
As for the saying “a good friend would take a dagger for you”—whoever came up with that must’ve been a bastard. Liu Dashao couldn’t even remember who said it. If he did, he’d probably want to stab that person to death for talking nonsense without knowing the pain.
There was no other reason—while he had been scared all day, Tian Guoqiang, Goudan, and the others were chilling out like immortals, playing Chinese chess at the village entrance. Liu Dashao was furious and went straight to confront them.
“You three little bastards ran off and left me all alone! Is there any justice in this world!” Liu Dashao knocked all the chess pieces off the stone table, scattering them with a loud crash.
“Brother, brother, calm down! Let’s talk!” Tian Guoqiang saw Liu Dashao was furious and rushed to stop him.
“Don’t touch me! I’m not into that!” Liu Dashao snapped.
“And you, Tian Guoqiang! After I dragged your possessed ass out of that temple, you just took off with them like nothing happened. That’s how you repay me? Are we even friends?”
“Brother, it’s a misunderstanding! It was pitch black, and those things were chasing us. What else could we think to do but run? We got separated along the way. Luckily, we all survived,” Tian Guoqiang explained.
“Save your excuses!” Liu Dashao sneered. “Even if that’s true, you didn’t look for me or check if I made it back?”
“Man, I’m so wronged! We did look! Your dad said you were home sleeping, so we didn’t want to bother you. We’ve been pretty shaken up ourselves, you know?”
“Fine, fine. At least nobody else knows what happened last night, right?” Liu Dashao lowered his voice.
“Well…” Tian Guoqiang frowned. “We didn’t dare say anything either.”
“Good. Then let’s keep it that way. Don’t go out at night for a while. The village has been really unsettled lately.”
Bro, you don’t have to tell me that! After last night, even if you gave me a hundred doses of courage, I still wouldn’t dare to do it.
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage