Chapter 62: The GhostBaby! (3)

Halfway through their journey, Old Lady Fan suddenly claimed she hadn’t brought her tools and, being alone, lacked any backup. She seemed to lose her nerve and had no choice but to turn back. Without the necessary supplies, they returned empty-handed but brought along Liu Dashao. Master Wang, the half-immortal, was out of commission—his eyes swollen like those of a goldfish from the old woman possessed by a ghost, and his leg immobilized with wooden splints and plaster by Liu Dashao. He likely wouldn’t be able to get out of bed for at least three to five days.

Along the way, Old Lady Fan recounted to Ma Sandao what he had encountered last night with the “Four Knife-Wielders.” She explained that they were likely spirits of those who had been executed or died violent deaths—known as Di Ling (地灵)—who could not travel far. These spirits could only haunt the area near where they died, causing harm by confusing people’s senses. Those with weak constitutions or light fates might even see them at night. She added that Di Ling spirits understand the bond between father and child, and by bewitching the father, they could steal the unborn child’s soul, take over the child’s body, and avoid the suffering of reincarnation.

“That young bride must be different,” she continued. “She’s likely a Di Sha (地煞), capable of summoning objects to do her bidding—like turning paper into a donkey. That’s no small feat. She can travel much farther than a Di Ling. If she had truly wanted to harm you, you wouldn’t have made it back last night. This ghost fetus we’re dealing with might not be her doing, but as a cultivator, it’s our duty to eliminate such evil.”

Her words left Ma Sandao trembling with fear, asking anxiously if there was still hope to save his child. Old Lady Fan simply replied, “We’ll see.”

Guided by Ma Sandao, Old Lady Fan arrived at the spot where he had woken up that morning. She sat cross-legged and pulled out a handful of spirit money from her large satchel. “Ma Sandao,” she instructed, “you go over by the marsh and wait. When the moon reaches about this height, burn the spirit money in a V-shape. That’ll let her know a master is coming for her. If she’s smart, she’ll hide and move on to reincarnation. If not, well, don’t blame me for being ruthless.” She pointed to some pine trees by the roadside: “Like that height!”

Ma Sandao nearly burst into tears: “Granny, those trees are fixed in place, and I can’t move them. Once I’m over there, how will I know when the moon reaches that height?”

Old Lady Fan scratched her head: “Hmm, you’re right. Then wait until the fog rolls in before you burn it.”

As soon as Ma Sandao agreed, she added another instruction: “And once you burn it, run fast. As soon as the fog appears, that thing will come after you. No matter what sounds you hear, don’t be scared—just run, and don’t slow down…”

Ma Sandao was both anxious and terrified. Back then, the poor couldn’t even afford a watch—it was truly a hassle.

Old Lady Fan cleared a space on the ground and directed Liu Dashao to place some incense and candles. She then scattered spirit money and began burning it piece by piece. Soon, she had burned a large circle, placing yellow talismans in the center. It was quite a sight—the wind at night couldn’t even stir the ashes of the talismans. Ma Sandao, not daring to delay, dragged his nearly broken legs and hurried toward the marsh.

As previously mentioned, the marsh wasn’t far from the green stone slope, but Ma Sandao’s legs ached badly, slowing him down. As he approached, he noticed fog already rising. In a panic, he shouted, “Hey fog, slow down a bit!” Surprisingly, his voice carried the authentic tone of a traditional Er Ren Zhuan folk song.

In his haste, he stumbled and fell flat on his face at the edge of the marsh. Ignoring the pain, he quickly pulled out a fire stick—a small paper rod used for lighting pipes—and began blowing on it. These fire sticks were usually kept smoldering inside a small copper tube and blown into flame when needed. Matches were hard to come by, so smokers usually carried one.

Ma Sandao blew so hard he couldn’t catch his breath, his face turning red like Guan Gong’s, but the fire stick wouldn’t ignite. Squinting in the moonlight, he realized with fury that it was a dud. Before leaving, Old Lady Fan had even used the fire stick to smoke—how come the one she gave him was useless?

Swearing under his breath, he fumbled through his inner pocket and pulled out a matchbox. At least he had this! He had bought one box six months ago and barely used it. Upon opening it, he nearly fainted—only three matches remained.

Calling out every deity he could think of, he carefully arranged the spirit money and struck a match. Snap—it broke. Sweat beaded on his forehead. He steadied his trembling hands and tried again. Crack—it snapped even more cleanly, in two pieces this time.

It was late at night, and Ma Sandao, a grown man, couldn’t help but tear up. Staring at the box, he saw only one match left. Taking a deep breath and recalling years of match-striking experience, he positioned himself carefully and prepared to strike. Just as he was about to, he suddenly burst into tears—there was no phosphorus on the tip.

He smashed the empty box and turned around, wailing: “Oh my God, my…”

Before he could finish his cry, he suddenly saw two blood-red eyes staring at him, with a white flower above them. He knew this creature all too well—it was that donkey from last night! Looking up, he saw the pregnant young bride, her face pale and swollen like a steamed bun, her protruding dead-fish eyes locked on him.

“Oh… my… God!” Ma Sandao screamed for dear life, springing up with a startled leap—and immediately wetting his pants.

But Ma Sandao was no ordinary man. While most would freeze in fear, he seemed to gain strength from fear itself. Urinating as he ran, he dashed off like a water buffalo urinating for half a mile.

He ran faster than ever before and soon saw Old Lady Fan still lighting incense nearby. Screaming like a pig being slaughtered, he shouted, “Granny, she’s here! She’s here!” before he even finished speaking, he was already there.

Ma Sandao threw his arms around Old Lady Fan, tears welling in his eyes. Seeing the wet spot on Ma Sandao’s pants, Old Lady Fan was delighted: “You peed? You peed?” Ma Sandao cursed inwardly—how did this old woman always know where to look? “Granny, yes, but the donkey—no, the young bride is back!”

Old Lady Fan was thrilled: “Good! Peeing is good! You really are the right person for this!”

“Granny, I couldn’t even light the spirit money!” Ma Sandao hurriedly said, but Old Lady Fan wasn’t the least bit concerned: “No big deal. Lighting spirit money is useless anyway. She’s already targeted you—whether you burn it or not, she’ll come after you.”

Ma Sandao cursed again inside: “Then why did you make me go burn it…”

Old Lady Fan smiled: “I’ll explain later. Do you really think ghosts need spirit money after they die?”

“I don’t believe it either,” Ma Sandao replied. “But the elders say you should burn it so the ghost doesn’t end up poor in the afterlife.”

Old Lady Fan nodded: “You’re right to think that way. Until you die, you won’t know what a ghost truly is. Guessing is just nonsense. All those rituals and ceremonies? I think they’re all bullsh*t!”

Ma Sandao nodded, then suddenly exclaimed: “But you’re a practitioner! So are you just scamming people?”

Old Lady Fan sighed: “Sometimes, we have to. People already have their own ideas in mind. If you don’t say what they expect, they won’t believe you. After you explain, they just run off. Sometimes, we have to bluff. We do the job, but we say what we want.”

Ma Sandao sat down to rest his legs. With a living immortal nearby, what was there to fear? The three of them sat side by side.

Liu Dashao said: “Granny, what you said makes a lot of sense. I never believed in burning spirit money either. I haven’t visited my grandfather’s or great-grandfather’s tomb in seven or eight years, let alone burned money. If they were poor ghosts, wouldn’t they have sent me a dream asking for help?”

Old Lady Fan nodded: “Seeing Ma Sandao’s condition today, I have a better idea. He’s the right person for this. As the saying goes, doubt breeds dark ghosts; weakness invites evil. Humans and ghosts are meant to walk separate paths, but if a person has ghosts in their heart, they become vulnerable to evil spirits.”

Ma Sandao listened and felt something was off: “Granny, what ghost do I have in my heart? I’m…”

Old Lady Fan interrupted: “If you didn’t have a gambling ghost in your heart, how could you still think about gambling when you ran into something like that last night? Even gambling for apricots?”

Seeing Ma Sandao had no reply, she continued: “You, I see, are a person who can communicate with spirits, just like Liu Dashao. In our village, you’re rare as a giant panda. I burned the spirit money to attract ghosts. Ghosts don’t need money, but they were once human, so they recognize it as a sign of offerings. Your body alone can attract wandering souls without needing money. That’s great.”

Ma Sandao asked: “What do you mean by ‘communicating with spirits’? I’ve only met that thing once last night. That doesn’t count.”

Old Lady Fan chuckled: “There are people whose protective aura disappears when they’re tired, but who are normally full of yang energy. They can be both extremely yang and extremely yin. Such people are rare—one in ten thousand. I’m one, and so are you. That’s why you’re perfect for being a practitioner—close to yin and evil spirits, yet not harmed by them.”

Liu Dashao caught on: “Granny, are you trying to take me as a disciple?”

Old Lady Fan said, “Let’s discuss that later. First, let me tell you—soon, the evil spirits around here will appear. Once they enter this circle, the Ding You Kai Lu Fu will confuse them, and they won’t be able to escape. You just need to do this and that, and those remaining three Di Ling spirits can be eliminated!”

Liu Dashao was shocked: “Wait, I have to fight them too? Granny, I pee my pants the moment I see them! And weren’t there four of them?”

Old Lady Fan laughed: “You don’t know the benefits of peeing your pants yet. That’s called releasing yang energy. Don’t worry—just follow my instructions. And by the way, pay attention when I speak. Why are you always poking my shoulder?”

Ma Sandao quickly said: “It’s not me! I was about to ask why you kept touching my back…”

“Not you scratching me?” Liu Dashao also paled. It seemed they were all in the same boat.

Suddenly, the three of them had a realization and turned around at the same time. Behind them knelt a figure, its head nearly touching their faces. Its dead-fish eyes rolled high, black blood tears slowly oozing from its eyes. Its face was covered in knife wounds, its head half-separated from its neck. Its bloated head swayed in the night wind, as if it might fall off at any moment.

“Mommy…” Old Lady Fan shuddered. Liu Dashao and Ma Sandao screamed simultaneously. Liu Dashao wet his pants again, and Ma Sandao, for the second time.

Fortunately, these two were the kind who grew braver with every pee. Old Lady Fan rolled sideways, landing a meter away, and shouted sharply, standing her ground. She pulled out her wooden sword and held it in front of her chest. Liu Dashao tried to leap up with a fish-leap move, pushing off the ground with his feet and arching his back. But the ground was slippery from their urine, and he failed to rise. Instead, he fell backward—right into the creature’s arms. The embrace was surprisingly smooth.

Liu Dashao looked up and saw the creature staring at him with affectionate, bloodshot eyes. Suddenly, it opened its mouth and extended a long tongue straight toward Liu Dashao’s left cheek.

“My God!” Liu Dashao screamed, finding unknown strength to leap a meter away, drenched in sweat and urine like a geyser.

The three of them stood still, stunned. Goodness gracious, it was terrifying! On the open ground, a dozen dark shadows swayed—some headless, some missing limbs. One nearby was familiar—Old Yang, whose hands were severed at the wrists, eyes rotted away, leaving only deep sockets. He seemed to recognize Ma Sandao on the left, even without eyes, his head turning directly toward him. Ma Sandao cursed inwardly: “You don’t even have eyes—why do you still stare at me?”

Old Lady Fan shouted furiously: “Ma Sandao! You said there were only four! Why are there so many? And they’re all violent… These must all be Di Sha!”

“What? So many? And they’re all fierce?” Liu Dashao took off his cloth shoe, ready to throw it at the future father-in-law’s head, thinking: “Grandma, if you have a problem, you can’t just do this to me, right? It’s just touching your daughter’s hand—was it really necessary to trick me here to hold a town hall meeting with these things? This isn’t even a village chief election!”

Ma Sandao felt wronged: “I really didn’t know!”

“Granny, stop talking! That sword you mentioned earlier—throw it to me!” Liu Dashao shouted in desperation. Old Lady Fan drew a seal in the air with her wooden sword and pulled out a short blade from her waist. “Catch!” Liu Dashao grabbed the sword, groaning inwardly—it was so short it looked more like a fish knife.

Strangely, the ghostly figures that had been wandering inside the circle of ash suddenly found direction and charged toward Liu Dashao.

Old Yang’s bloody stump was already near Liu Dashao’s face. A white-clad female ghost with a long tongue spun from the left, aiming for Liu Dashao’s shoulder. He saw clearly—her face was full of holes, but her long tongue was slick and shiny, her half-rotted teeth exposed. If she bit him, he’d be done for. Liu Dashao cried out, rolled away, and drew the short sword. Old Lady Fan’s words echoed in his ears: “This is the Demon-Repelling Sword. Its sheath is made from bamboo over ten years old from a grave. The evil spirits will come for you. Draw the sword and hold it in front of your chest. Its blade has soaked in saltpeter for a year and was consecrated with rooster blood. Once unsheathed, it will emit a fiery aura strong enough to scare away ghosts.”

“Shhoo!” Liu Dashao drew the sword, holding it proudly. But suddenly, he felt something was off. He looked down and realized—the sword was not only short… it was broken!

Liu Dashao panicked: “Granny! Why is it broken!?”

Old Lady Fan looked and slapped her thigh: “Oh no! I was in a rush and grabbed the wrong one. The good one’s at home!”

Liu Dashao was about to scream when Old Yang’s stump shot toward him. Liu Dashao had no time to think—though short and broken, the blade still had a sharp edge. He flipped the sword and stabbed downward. As it touched Old Yang’s wrist, the ghost screamed like a night owl, making Liu Dashao’s teeth ache. From the two empty eye sockets, black mist spewed out, and the ghost staggered back, its form becoming translucent. Its howls echoed within the circle of ash. Liu Dashao looked at the sword—it was now just a hilt.

Before he could catch his breath, the long-tongued female ghost’s teeth were already near his face. Liu Dashao’s vision darkened, and suddenly, his strength vanished. Just then, a sharp scream pierced the air. The female ghost’s body erupted in black smoke, a foul stench spreading. As the smoke cleared, a burning talisman drifted down.

“Granny, you’ve finally found the talisman…” Liu Dashao exhaled in relief. Old Lady Fan moved quickly, tossing talismans one after another. Black smoke billowed from the ground, and ghostly screams filled the air. Ma Sandao exclaimed in awe: “Granny, you truly are an immortal!”

Before he finished speaking, Old Lady Fan called out: “Liu Dashao, watch your side! I only brought ten Jia Zi Demon-Repelling Talismans. Once they’re gone, it’s up to you to protect us!”

Before Liu Dashao could understand, a ghost floated toward him, hands reaching for his neck. Wait a second—this ghost looked familiar. Wasn’t this Old Zhao, who had died of a stroke? His head hung from his neck, barely attached by a strip of skin, and his fingers, like daggers, stabbed toward Liu Dashao.

In desperation, Liu Dashao shouted: “Wait! Wait! Uncle Zhao! Old Master Zhao! I even played cards with you!”

Surprisingly, this seemed to work. Old Zhao’s dangling head tilted slightly, as if examining Liu Dashao. At that moment, three other ghosts, just like Old Zhao, stood still, staring at him.

Liu Dashao sighed in relief—perhaps they recognized him. He tried to speak familiarly: “Grandpa, we’ve been neighbors…”

Before he could finish, he noticed Old Lady Fan staring at him with terror, as if he were the greatest evil in the world. Just as he was about to ask, he felt a chill on his back. He turned around—and there it was: the flower, the donkey, the young bride…

Liu Dashao, startled like a frightened frog, leaped into the air, bouncing twice before landing beside Old Lady Fan. He noticed her whole body trembling and his own voice shaking: “Granny, why are you so scared?”

Old Lady Fan swallowed hard: “As soon as they saw her, they were too scared to move. Don’t you think I should be scared too?”

Upon hearing this, Liu Dashao finally understood her power. He heard ghostly screams all around. The three ghosts desperately tried to flee but couldn’t escape the circle of ash. It wasn’t because they were trying to be friendly—they were terrified. Then, the woman on the donkey let out a cold laugh, sending chills down Old Lady Fan and Liu Dashao’s spines: “This old woman actually has some skill.”

Before the laughter faded, the woman suddenly screamed, and a gust of cold wind blew all the ashes away.

Old Lady Fan’s teeth chattered: “She can speak… and laugh?”

Ma Sandao added: “Yes, she spoke last night. She even asked me for an apricot.”