Walking down the street at midnight, Xiao Yufan felt a deep loneliness surge within him every time he saw couples leaning close under the neon lights. A painful ache welled up like an endless spring.
At that moment, Xiao Yufan didn’t know where he should go. Should he return to his rented apartment? Or go to Lin Jiayao’s place? Or perhaps just stay on the street all night long?
Eventually, defeated by the cold night air, Xiao Yufan returned to his rented apartment, nearly reaching one o’clock in the morning. Yet he felt no trace of sleepiness, as if he had been injected with adrenaline.
Tormented by boredom, he smoked for a while and then just sat there, staring blankly into space. Only a few minutes had passed, but Xiao Yufan already felt like dying. It turned out that a night spent alone could be so agonizing.
He turned on the shabby stereo, and a harsh sound filled the room. Surprisingly, Xiao Yufan found himself enjoying this chaotic noise—it at least helped him pass the time.
The first song was a sorrowful one, “How Could You Let Me Down,” which perfectly mirrored Xiao Yufan’s innermost feelings. Yet this helpless night would likely be listened to in silence by only himself. He had forgotten there was another person in the apartment.
Just after Xiao Yufan finished playing the song, he suddenly heard some noise outside the room. Then the bedroom door slowly opened, and he realized who else could it be but Yu Yihan.
Although Xiao Yufan and Yu Yihan had some unresolved issues between them, he wasn’t narrow-minded. He wouldn’t deny Yu Yihan’s beauty just because of their differences. This woman truly seemed like a masterpiece created in a moment of divine recklessness—apart from her cold and distant demeanor, Xiao Yufan could find no flaws in her.
“I know you’re in a bad mood, but I have to work tomorrow. Can you please go to sleep if you’re done venting?” Surprisingly, Yu Yihan’s voice was gentle, perhaps because she sensed the sorrow hanging in the air.
Xiao Yufan was taken aback at first, then he placed his hand on the stereo and slowly turned it off. No matter how much pain he felt, he shouldn’t disturb others’ rest—especially not a beautiful woman like her.
Seeing Xiao Yufan’s actions, Yu Yihan slightly furrowed her delicate brows before turning to head back to her room. The smoke in his room was simply too thick for her to bear.
“Wait…” Xiao Yufan called out in a deep voice, his face stern as he addressed Yu Yihan. But it was out of sheer boredom and unwillingness to be alone that he wanted to tease her a little.
Yu Yihan turned around and asked, “What is it?”
Xiao Yufan studied this woman, growing more puzzled. Why could she be so beautiful? He then blurted out without thinking, “Why did you choose to live in such a desolate place for no reason? Could it be that you have a thing for me?”
“Please don’t make me feel like I’m inviting a wolf into my house,” Yu Yihan frowned, replying coldly.
“Miss, did you get it wrong? I’ve been living in this house for three years, while you just moved in. Shouldn’t it be me who feels like I’m inviting a wolf into my house?”
“If you feel that way, you’re free to move out. I won’t stop you, nor will I have any objections.” Yu Yihan accurately hit Xiao Yufan’s weak spot, smirking slightly with a calm expression.
“Why should I move? This house has always been mine. You’re just a latecomer, at most a beautiful tenant!”
“A tenant? Even if I am a tenant, you’ll have to move here permanently once you find a job. Remember, you must leave here forever…” Perhaps slightly angered, Yu Yihan’s lips unconsciously curved into a cold, proud arc, and without further words, she turned and walked out of the bedroom.
…
Back in his own bedroom, Xiao Yufan lit another cigarette. Amid the temporary pleasure, he realized how bitter his heart truly felt.
The smoke he exhaled drifted slowly out the window under the glow of the lamp. Xiao Yufan watched it absentmindedly until a sudden breeze blew in, making him momentarily sober up again. The hazy image of Cheng Ying flickered through his mind.
Suddenly remembering, tomorrow was the wedding day of Ma Teng and Mu Qing. In other words, after today, he would see Cheng Ying again. Xiao Yufan had a premonition that the next few days would be even harder for him than the past few years in Beijing.
Even now, Xiao Yufan still couldn’t understand how a five-year love affair could slip away so casually. Although Cheng Ying hadn’t said the words of breakup long ago, the two had already grown distant long before.
There was no reason for the breakup. Perhaps to Cheng Ying, all of this no longer mattered. But in Xiao Yufan’s heart, it had left a deep scar.
Closing his eyes, Xiao Yufan felt like crying. He had once believed the two of them could walk together to the end, but he had still lost to reality. Was he really that unworthy?
Xiao Yufan still felt some anticipation and curiosity inside. Like Cheng Ying, he had given five years of his youth to this relationship. He was anxious about the upcoming meeting. Was Cheng Ying feeling the same as he was now?
He had no answer. Sometimes men and women are different, and he couldn’t measure Cheng Ying by his own feelings. Perhaps when they meet again, Cheng Ying would treat him only as an ordinary friend, or even a complete stranger.
Gazing quietly at the pitch-black sky outside the window, Xiao Yufan didn’t know when he finally drifted into a deep sleep. His heart was truly exhausted. He only wished to sleep soundly for a whole day, free from all worries. Perhaps only then could he be considered a truly fallen man…
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