Chapter 35:

When you really want to see someone, it’s truly impossible to hold back. Even if the hour is late and your body is exhausted, you’re still willing to overcome every obstacle just to rush to that person’s side.

It’s not even about gaining something in return—it’s simply about wanting to see them for a moment, or exchange a few words.

The nights in Beijing in August aren’t particularly cold, but on overcast nights like this, it’s far from warm. Shen Qingzhou was dressed lightly. He hadn’t expected to wait here for long. The thin trousers and shirt he wore fluttered with the wind, creasing occasionally. He gazed into the distance, pinched the bridge of his nose, leaned against the wall beside him, bent his long legs, and looked down at his phone, idly playing with it.

It’s not like he hadn’t considered going inside. But ever since he’d confessed the conflict between himself and Lin Qiao to Lin Weiming, the latter hadn’t contacted him at all. As the girl’s father, Shen could understand the anger buried deep in Lin Weiming’s heart. So he didn’t intend to go looking for a scolding, nor did he want to put Lin Qiao in an awkward position.

A rumble of thunder echoed overhead. Shen lifted his head, frowned at the gloomy sky, tucked his phone into his pocket, and turned his gaze back to the street corner. There was still no sign of the familiar silver car.

He hesitated a little, but in the end, Shen didn’t leave. As his waiting stretched on, Lin Qiao was drawing closer to home—but what arrived even faster was the sudden downpour.

The rain passed quickly, yet it came with fierce intensity. Large raindrops pelted down onto Shen Qingzhou. With nowhere to shelter, he was soon soaked through. He exhaled deeply, wiped the rainwater from his face, and looked again toward the street corner—only to see a familiar black Lexus approaching.

The rain was heavy, the car’s headlights blinding, and the mist created by the rain splashing against the car gave it a surreal, ghostly outline, as if it had driven straight from the end of the world and straight into the most sensitive recesses of Shen Qingzhou’s heart.

From afar, he couldn’t see the license plate. But as it drew closer, no matter how hard he tried, the cruel truth was impossible to ignore.

It was Qin Muyao’s car.

The black Lexus slowly pulled to a stop in front of Lin’s residence. Shen Qingzhou stood leaning against the wall not far away, his drenched shirt clinging to his body. The thin clothing made him feel even colder, yet he couldn’t tell whether the trembling in his hands was from the cold or from something deeper inside.

The headlights dimmed. Through the heavy rain, Shen saw Lin Qiao sitting in the front passenger seat, staring at him in a daze. She seemed surprised to see him here, her face filled with shock. Compared to her astonishment, however, Qin Muyao behind the wheel remained unusually calm.

As if suddenly realizing something, Lin Qiao quickly got out of the car, running toward Shen Qingzhou while taking off her jacket and holding it over him. In truth, with rain this heavy, whether she covered him or not made little difference—but she still refused to give up. She ran straight to him, stood on tiptoe, and stretched her arms high to shield him with the jacket.

Her long black hair was wet and clinging to her pale face, and the worry and心疼 in her eyes were clearly genuine. The realization left Shen Qingzhou feeling deeply conflicted.

“Why are you standing here? Don’t you know it’s raining? Why didn’t you go inside?” Lin Qiao grabbed his wrist and pulled him toward the gate, not sparing a glance at the car parked nearby. But Shen couldn’t tear his eyes away from it.

Soon, Lin Qiao realized she couldn’t pull him any further. He was a grown man—even if he was unwell, he wouldn’t be stopped by her alone.

Confused, she turned to look back and saw Shen staring expressionlessly at Qin Muyao’s car. His lips, washed pale by the rain, had no color left in them. And the wrist she held in her hand was trembling ever so slightly.

She knew he must have misunderstood, but this wasn’t the place to explain. If she was going to clarify, they needed to go inside first. She tugged at him again, finally managing to draw his gaze to her face. She shouted over the rain, “Let’s go inside first! Don’t think too much!”

Shen pressed his pale lips together. His deep eyes looked like shattered stars. If not for the rain, she might have been able to tell whether there was something else in his reddened eyes—but now, she could do nothing.

Shen slowly pulled his wrist free, turned without a word, and walked away. His black figure moved quickly through the rain, his tall, slender frame still upright—but compared to usual, he seemed far more desolate.

Qin Muyao hadn’t left. He had watched everything unfold from inside the car. Seeing Shen Qingzhou come out, he took two umbrellas from the back seat, opened the car door, and stepped out, blocking Shen’s path.

Shen looked at Qin Muyao without expression. One hand held an umbrella, the other extended the second one toward him. Under the umbrella, Qin’s clothes were neat and his face handsome, a stark contrast to Shen, whose rain-soaked eyes could barely stay open. The difference in their conditions was painfully obvious.

Lin Qiao had already run out by then. She quickly stepped beside Shen Qingzhou, took the umbrella from Qin, said thanks, and opened it. She pulled Shen again toward the house, but after a few steps, Shen stopped again. Holding the umbrella, she bit her lip and looked up at him. His gaze was fixed elsewhere—there was no one there, but he kept staring.

Unable to move him, and unwilling to return alone, Lin Qiao finally gave up and threw the umbrella aside. She wrapped her arms around his waist and stood still.

Only then did Shen finally turn his gaze to her. Her clothes were soaked through, and the house was right there—but she hadn’t gone in. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of心疼. But thinking of who was still behind him, he couldn’t bring himself to show her any tenderness.

Translating the above into English while preserving the meaning and emotional nuance, and converting all characters into English without retaining Chinese characters:

Only then did Shen finally turn his gaze to her. Her clothes were soaked through, and the house was right there—but she hadn’t gone in. He couldn’t help but feel a sharp twinge of compassion. Yet, thinking of the person still waiting behind him, he couldn’t bring himself to show her any tenderness.

He was extremely exhausted. When he finally spoke, his voice was hoarse and lost. His expression looked lost: “Haven’t I been good enough to you?” he murmured, slowly pushing Lin Qiao away. Then, in a bitter tone, he added, “You told me you were home, that you were feeling unwell and couldn’t come to the hospital. I believed you. I even worried you were sick, so I took a taxi all the way here. When I found you weren’t home, I thought maybe you were at work, afraid I’d stop you from working. I waited for you to come back. But what did you do?”

She had no words. She wanted to explain but didn’t know where to start. Standing helplessly in the rain, she looked at him with such a pitiful expression that all his anger melted away. All the words he wanted to say turned into one sentence: “Lin Qiao, am I wrong just because I missed something? Is everything I do from now on going to be wrong?”

“…No,” she finally spoke, her voice choked. “It’s not like that. Come inside with me. Let me explain.”

Shen shook his head. He bent down, picked up the umbrella, placed it in her hand, and turned to leave. Before he left, he said softly, “I’m tired.”

His body hadn’t fully recovered yet, and now he was soaked from the rain. Every step was a struggle. His stomach twisted with pain, almost to the point of cramping. But he still forced himself to keep walking, passing right by Qin Muyao, who was still standing in the rain. His stubbornness was evident.

Du Xinling, realizing Shen Qingzhou wasn’t in the hospital, quickly came looking for him. Xie Jiayi had learned of Shen’s illness from Du. Du had predicted that Xie would want to talk to Lin Qiao, so he guessed she wouldn’t be home at this time. And since Lin Weiming and Shen Qingzhou were like oil and water, it was unlikely Shen would be allowed into the Lin household. He hadn’t driven either—if he got caught in the rain, it would be a disaster.

When Du Xinling arrived at the Lin residence, he just happened to see Shen Qingzhou, soaked through, staggering toward the street corner, his body swaying unsteadily.

He immediately parked the car, grabbed an umbrella, and rushed over, supporting Shen and shielding him with the umbrella.

After stabilizing the sick man, Du turned his gaze toward the entrance of the Lin residence. Qin Muyao and Lin Qiao stood apart, the scene obvious at a glance.

Du sighed heavily, helped Shen back into the car, and the two disappeared from sight.

Lin Qiao stood holding the umbrella, watching the rain swallow their figures. Gradually, the rain began to ease, as if the heavy downpour had only been to match their moods. Once Shen Qingzhou was gone, the sky cleared, and everything felt fresh again.

She folded the umbrella, ignoring the light drizzle, walked over to Qin Muyao, handed him the umbrella, and dryly thanked him before turning to go home.

Qin reached out and gently held her wrist, whispering, “If you’re feeling upset, I can stay with you.”

Lin Qiao pulled her hand free and without turning back, said, “Even if I needed someone by my side, it wouldn’t be you.” With that, she ran toward the house, drenched, rushing inside without regard for Lin Weiming’s surprised gaze, and ran straight upstairs into the bathroom. She turned on the hot water and let it pour over her from head to toe, then crouched in the corner, hugging her knees, staring blankly ahead.

What should she do now? Xie Jiayi had said she didn’t want Shen Qingzhou to know about their meeting. So how could she explain to Shen why she was with Qin Muyao? If she left out Xie’s part, would he believe her? Would he even give her a chance to explain?

She buried her head into her knees, taking a deep breath, unmoving for a long time.

Lin Weiming stood outside the bathroom, looking at the water trail on the stairs, deep in thought. He took out his phone and dialed Shen Qingzhou’s number, only to hear the message that the call couldn’t be connected. He had a rough idea of what had happened.

No matter what happened, this matter was definitely related to Shen Qingzhou. It seemed like his daughter would never escape that man’s shadow.

And the man who had become that shadow was now sitting in the passenger seat of a car, hand over his stomach, tightly clenching his brows in pain.

Du Xinling drove fast, speeding all the way, but Beijing’s traffic was already bad. With the rain, it was even worse. He was stuck behind, anxious and helpless.

At a red light, Du took a towel and wiped the rain from Shen Qingzhou’s face and hair. Seeing his pale lips and pained expression, he couldn’t help but scold, “I told you not to go out. Now look what happened—you saw something you shouldn’t have, and now you’re the one suffering!”

Shen Qingzhou opened his eyes weakly, his dark eyes silently staring at him. Du thought he would stubbornly argue, but instead, after a pause, Shen asked slowly and softly, “Du Xinling, tell me—what do you call a woman who treats one man well, then turns around and secretly goes out with another man, lying to him that she’s at home, making him worry for nothing?”

Du wanted to defend Lin Qiao a little, but Shen didn’t give him a chance. He continued, “Can a person love two people at the same time? If not, then doesn’t that mean she doesn’t truly love the man she’s deceiving?”

Du looked away, focusing on the road ahead as he drove. “I think you should save your strength now. If you lose your life, all this talk won’t matter. Remember—you’re not just living for yourself. You have a son and a mother to take care of. You have responsibilities. Don’t be so stubborn and stuck in your thoughts. And as for your question… you should first figure out if you truly love her before you start questioning whether she loves you.”

Shen opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but no words came out. Du pulled the car into the hospital parking lot and continued, “Can’t even talk because it hurts too much, huh? This is all your own fault. Wanting to know the truth but not giving her a chance to explain—you don’t fear misunderstanding her and ending up hurting both of you, making those who care sad and those who wish you harm happy? Be careful—you might be playing right into someone’s hands.”

Hearing this, Shen closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat. After a long silence, he finally whispered, “I love her.”

His voice was barely audible, so low that Du wasn’t sure if he had imagined it—until Shen continued softly, “I used to doubt this feeling. But if I didn’t love her… how could I feel this much pain?”

Suddenly, it felt like there was no future ahead—neither the will to live nor the strength to die.