“Madame Red is a powerful aphrodisiac; it’s practically a must-have for any household or journey. However, it does have one side effect: after taking it, not only will a woman become highly aroused, but her mind will also become very simple. Under the influence of the drug, she will answer every question truthfully, without uttering a single lie. It’s practically the best tool for interrogating female criminals.”
“But…” Yang Hao’s face turned very grim.
“What ‘but’ are you talking about, my dear apprentice? We’ve added another product to our store. Aren’t you going to praise your old master?”
“But this thing smells absolutely terrible!” Yang Hao finally exploded. “It smells like sulfuric acid! Who would actually eat something like this? You’ve created another useless item, you good-for-nothing!!”
Yang Hao was practically driven mad. The problem with their love potion shop was obvious: the unbearable stench of the potions scared everyone away. Until they solved this issue, there was no hope for business improvement.
X13, standing nearby, pessimistically muttered without caring about others’ feelings: “Seven consecutive days, we’ve already spent all the shop’s working capital. If we still don’t get any business, we’ll have to close the shop. Please don’t sell me as scrap metal. Even though I have an anti-gravity device, I’m just second-hand junk and not worth much…”
Before Yang Hao could throw the nearby alchemical furnace at X13, the shop door suddenly rang with a ‘ding,’ breaking the silence that had lasted for days.
A customer had arrived, and Yang Hao immediately perked up. A strange old man peeked into the shop and sneaked inside. This old man had a weasel’s head and rat’s eyes; he was thin as a rail, holding a black cane in one hand while fanning himself continuously with a small feather fan in the other, despite the cool weather.
“Big… big brother, welcome!” Facing his first customer, Yang Hao stammered out a welcome.
“Uh…” The old man looked around as he walked in. “I heard you also sell aphrodisiacs.”
“Absolutely right!” Yang Hao, seeing money walking through the door, immediately broke into a big smile. “You’ve come to the right place. Our love potions are guaranteed effective. You won’t want to leave after coming here, and you won’t want to stop taking them once you’ve tried.”
“Won’t want to stop taking them?” The old man widened his triangular eyes. “Then isn’t that a poison?”
“You idiot apprentice, do you even know how to attract customers? You should say ‘won’t be unable to get up’!”
“Right, right, won’t be unable to get up.” Yang Hao, not understanding this at all, could only parrot what he was told.
Hearing this, the old man became satisfied and slowly walked toward the counter. In fact, this old man had previously been a customer at the neighboring “Ten Thousand Sex” aphrodisiac specialty store. Since the merchant from the Galactic Empire opened that shop, it had almost monopolized the entire aphrodisiac market on planet Lemo. Therefore, the prices of medicines at “Ten Thousand Sex” changed three times a day. When the old man went there today, he found each pill had already risen to 200 imperial credits, which was more expensive than robbery, so he stormed out without buying anything.
However, not far from there, he spotted Yang Hao’s small aphrodisiac shop. Since the old man was quite elderly, his senses were naturally not very sharp, so he hadn’t smelled the nauseating medicinal stench even after entering the shop.
“Uncle, our medicine is both cheap and effective. For just fifty imperial credits per pill, you’ll feel as energetic as a dragon or tiger, even more powerful than when you were young!” Yang Hao recited what Hun Yuanzi had taught him.
Hun Yuanzi, although not particularly skilled in teaching people alchemy, was absolutely a master salesman. Hearing this, the old man immediately broke into a smile. He lowered his head to carefully examine the more than ten Dragon-Tiger Great Rejuvenation Pills on the counter.
But as soon as he bent down, the shocking stench immediately invaded the old man’s nose, making him pale and clutch the corner of the counter to avoid fainting: “My God, it’s even worse than my wife’s body odor! What is this smell?”
“It’s the smell of medicine!” X13, the unyielding robot, couldn’t even tell a white lie.
“Goodbye!” The old man turned and ran, trembling as he fled, clearly someone who had long suffered from his wife’s body odor and now encountered an even worse smell, making him flee in terror.
“Wait! Wait! Wait!” Yang Hao, unwilling to let go of such a hard-earned customer, quickly blocked the shop entrance with his youthful agility.
The old man, with a face full of despair, looked at Yang Hao: “What do you want? Are you going to force me to eat your stinky pills?”
“What do you mean by ‘force’? Let’s negotiate nicely.” Yang Hao forced a smile, slung his arm around the old man’s shoulder, and practically dragged him back. “Uncle, you know as well as anyone that the old saying goes ‘good medicine tastes bitter,’ meaning the better the medicine, the more bitter it is.”
“Don’t give me that ‘bitter’ nonsense. The old saying only mentioned bitterness, never mentioned a stench!” Surprisingly, the old man was quite knowledgeable.
Yang Hao silently cursed Hun Yuanzi. If it weren’t for this bastard making the pills so smelly, he wouldn’t have such trouble: “But the principle is the same. My pills might smell a bit bad, but they’re made entirely from traditional Chinese herbs, contain no preservatives, are safe and reliable, easy to digest, and far superior to the chemical agents sold by the merchants.”
“You call that easy to digest?” The old man shivered. “It’s the same texture as feces. What digestion? You’d just poop it out directly.”
“Aphrodisiac!!!” Yang Hao, furious, suddenly flew into a rage. “This is definitely an aphrodisiac. You can insult me, but absolutely cannot insult the aphrodisiac! This pill is the best aphrodisiac in the world. If it doesn’t work after you take it, I’ll eat all of them myself.”
“Good apprentice!!” Seeing Yang Hao so fiercely defending the reputation of their sect’s pills, Hun Yuanzi was greatly pleased and praised him enthusiastically. However, he had no idea that Yang Hao was simply driven to desperation by the lack of business and could only use intimidation and deception in the hope of closing his very first sale.
Sure enough, this tactic actually worked. The old man was scared speechless. He opened his toothless mouth, staring blankly at Yang Hao, seemingly having lost his mind due to old age.
“Just buy a couple of them,” Yang Hao said, his facial muscles twitching involuntarily. Without waiting for the old man’s response, he first put two large, stinky Dragon-Tiger Great Rejuvenation Pills into a bag and handed it to the old man.
The old man made a couple of dry throat sounds before finally regaining his breath. He hadn’t died from being scared by Yang Hao, truly a blessing from heaven. Looking at the love potion Yang Hao handed him and his fierce expression, he could only say in a tearful voice: “I can take the pills home to try, but I don’t have any money.”
Judging from his expression, he seemed determined to risk his life rather than part with his money. Yang Hao felt utterly defeated. His first customer after so much hardship and effort was actually such an old, stingy fellow.
With no choice, he had to admit defeat: “Fine, fine. Just take them home and try them. If they work well, come back and buy more from me. I’ll even give you a discount.”
Before Yang Hao had even finished speaking, he felt his hand lighten—the bag of pills was gone. The old man, upon hearing they were free, snatched the pills at lightning speed and fled out the door like a streak of smoke, disappearing without a trace.
“Haha!” Hun Yuanzi loudly mocked from inside his belly. “My dear apprentice, you really know how to do business. After scaring him so much, you still ended up giving them away for free.”
“Give me a break. With the pills you invented, it’s already great that someone is willing to take them for free,” Yang Hao muttered dejectedly as he sat back behind the counter. “I just hope he doesn’t die. He’s so old; what if the effects of the medicine are too strong and he dies?”
“Don’t worry!” Hun Yuanzi started boasting again. “Our Love Potion Sect’s cultivation techniques are extremely profound. These pills are elixirs for cultivators, but for ordinary people, they’re just aphrodisiacs. As long as he doesn’t overdose, there will only be benefits and no harm. My dear apprentice, just wait for this old man to come back to us.”
“Come back?” Yang Hao snorted. “I hope it’s not his family bringing a coffin to find us instead.”
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