“Oh, I’m going up the mountain to gather some firewood for cooking. There’s nothing left at home,” Zhao Lao Taigong lied to Youzi. Naturally, he wouldn’t tell the other party that he was actually going to scout for a feng shui treasure spot.
“Chopping firewood? At your age, why don’t you ask your son to do it?”
“Heh, I can’t get him to move a muscle. That good-for-nothing acts like a little lord at home. You carry on; I’m off. It’ll get dark soon, and who knows, there might even be a timely rain shower,” Zhao Lao Taigong replied evasively.
“No rush, Old Zhao. I know there’s a pile of branches nearby. Why don’t I take you there? I can help carry them down the mountain too.”
“No, no, don’t bother yourself. You go on home,” Zhao Lao Taigong said increasingly anxiously. He was convinced this guy must have figured out his intentions and insisted on following him.
Youzi grinned slyly, “You’re going to check out that feng shui treasure spot, right? Don’t worry, it’s well hidden beneath those branches. No one has noticed it.”
“What? You—” Zhao Lao Taigong was astonished, his heart immediately sinking.
“That’s right. You’re really unlucky. That treasure spot was discovered by me, a shameless rogue,” Youzi winked at him with a lewd expression, nearly drooling.
“Hmph, what treasure spot? I have no idea what you’re talking about. What you saw is just an ordinary piece of land,” Zhao Lao Taigong still refused to believe that someone else had discovered the feng shui treasure, desperately trying to conceal the truth.
“Really? Ordinary? There’s a coffin lid there that looks exactly like a real one, brown in color. I even thought it was naturally formed by the earth’s spiritual energy!”
“Well then, if you insist it’s not important, I’ll just go ahead and smash it up,” Youzi said and turned to leave, looking like a furious Li Kui, fearless of heaven and earth.
“Wait, I have something to say,” Zhao Lao Taigong finally gave in. It seemed the feng shui treasure spot had indeed been discovered by him. Desperately, he called Youzi back, hoping to have a serious talk. From Youzi’s tone, it seemed he just wanted something from him, so maybe they could strike a deal.
“Oh my, my old talkative master, you’ve finally changed your mind?” Youzi stopped promptly, smiling smugly like a triumphant winner.
“Tell me, what do you want in return?”
“Frank and straightforward!” Youzi gave a thumbs-up. “Since you’re so open, I won’t beat around the bush either. To be honest, I just want to make a little profit from this. That’s why I’ve been desperately searching the mountains and fields today. Fortunately, I found it. I was just on my way to your house to discuss this business deal when, as they say, speak of the devil and he appears…”
“Cut the chatter. Tell me something concrete!”
“Alright, straight to the point. My price is fifty silver dollars. I’ll keep this secret forever, until you pass away. What do you say?”
“Fifty it is, but you must keep your word!” Zhao Lao Taigong gritted his teeth.
“Of course! Although I’m just a beggar, I still have my principles. You can rest assured. Actually, for a few silver dollars, you’re securing generations of wealth for your descendants. You might even produce someone like Emperor Qin Shi Huang. You can’t expect to have all the good fortune to yourself, right? You must pay a price!”
“Fine then. Come here tomorrow to get the money. Don’t be late.”
“Great, deal! Goodbye. You go on ahead and carry your firewood. Haha…” Feeling victorious, Youzi arrogantly hummed a rogue’s tune, swaggering down the mountain with a nonchalant attitude.
Zhao Lao Taigong stood rooted to the spot, as if his soul had been lost, unable to recover for quite a while.
When he returned home late at night, Zhao Lao Taigong tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep. His left eyelid kept twitching, and he felt uneasy, sensing that something might happen the next day. “Could it be that Youzi is going to trick me?”
The more Zhao Lao Taigong thought, the more awake he became. He finally got up and went to the courtyard. A gentle breeze blew, and the stars in the sky twinkled brightly at him.
“Sigh, everything is destined. As the ancients said, lucky people wait for lucky land, and lucky land waits for lucky people. If I, Zhao Laohan, am fated to be buried in a good feng shui spot, no one can ruin it. Remember when Zhu Yuanzhang’s mother died of plague, they couldn’t afford a coffin, so they wrapped her body in straw and prepared for burial. Unexpectedly, during the journey, a sudden rainstorm caused a pile of earth to collapse from the hillside, burying his mother just right, as if it were a proper tomb. Later, Zhu Chongba defeated Chen Youliang, ruled the world, and became the true dragon emperor. This is called ‘Heaven’s Burial,’ something you can’t stop, something no ordinary person can force?” He tried every way to comfort himself, imagining he was the reincarnation of Zhu Yuanzhang.
Early the next morning, Zhao Lao Taigong arrived at Sisheng Ridge with a bag of silver dollars. He hadn’t told his son about this, fearing that his son might not keep his mouth shut and tell his wife, spreading the news everywhere. When he reached Sisheng Ridge, he found that Youzi had already been waiting there for quite some time.
“Oh, I’m going up the mountain to gather some firewood for cooking. We’re out in the house,” Old Master Zhao fabricated a lie to deceive the rogue, of course, he wouldn’t tell him that he was actually going to check out a feng shui treasure site.
“Gathering firewood? At your age, why don’t you ask your son to do it?”
“Hey, I can’t get him to budge, that brat acts like a little lord at home. You’re busy, I’ll be off now, it’s getting dark soon, might even rain,” Old Master Zhao said evasively.
“No need to hurry, Old Zhao, I know there’s a pile of branches nearby, why don’t I take you there, and I can help you carry them down the mountain.”
“Forget it, forget it, no need to trouble you, you better head back!” Old Master Zhao grew increasingly anxious, it was clear this guy knew his purpose and was determined to follow him.
The rogue smirked, “You’re going to check out that feng shui treasure site, aren’t you? Don’t worry, it’s well hidden under the branches, no one has found it.”
“What? You—” Old Master Zhao was utterly shocked, his heart immediately chilled.
“That’s right, you’re out of luck, that treasure site has been found by this shameless rogue,” the rogue gave him a sly look, almost drooling.
“Hey, what treasure site, I have no idea what you’re talking about. What you saw is just an ordinary piece of land,” Old Master Zhao still couldn’t believe the feng shui treasure site had been discovered by an outsider, stubbornly hiding the truth.
“Is that so, ordinary? A coffin lid exactly like the real thing, brown in color, I thought it was born from the true earth’s aura!”
“Alright, since you say it’s not, then I might as well go and smash it,” with that, the rogue turned back, fearless and bold, like an enraged Li Kui.
“Wait, I have something to say,” Old Master Zhao yielded. It seemed the feng shui treasure site had indeed been found by him. He helplessly called out to the rogue, hoping to have a serious talk with him. And judging by the rogue’s tone, it was clear he wanted something from him, and they might be able to reach an agreement.
“Well, well, my dear old man, you’ve finally changed your mind?” The rogue stopped knowingly, smiling triumphantly, like a victor.
“Tell me, what do you want in return?”
“Straight to the point!” The rogue raised his thumb: “Since you’re being so frank, I won’t beat around the bush. Honestly, I just want to make a little fortune, that’s why I’ve been searching all over the mountains today. Luckily, heaven has been kind to me, and I actually found it. So, I was just about to head down to your house to discuss this business… Who would have thought, speak of the devil and he shall appear…”
“Enough nonsense, get to the point!”
“Alright, to the point, one price, fifty silver coins. I’ll keep this secret for you forever, until you die. How about that?”
“Fifty it is, but you must keep your word!” Old Master Zhao gritted his teeth.
“Of course, I may be a beggar, but I have principles, don’t worry. In fact, using some silver coins to secure prosperity for your descendants for generations is quite a bargain, who knows, you might even produce a figure like Qin Shi Huang. This good fortune can’t be yours alone, right? You have to pay some price!”
“Alright, meet here tomorrow to get the money, no absence.”
“Deal, goodbye. You can go on gathering firewood. Haha…” The rogue, thinking he had won a battle, shamelessly hummed a rogue tune in front of Old Master Zhao, swaggering down the mountain.
Old Master Zhao stood there, as if his soul had left his body, unable to come to his senses for a long time.
Returning home late at night, Old Master Zhao tossed and turned, unable to sleep. His left eyelid kept twitching, and he felt uneasy, as if foretelling some change tomorrow. “Could it be that the rogue is going to play me?”
Old Master Zhao became more and more awake, so he got up and went to the yard. The breeze blew, and the stars in the sky were very bright, blinking at him.
“Alas, everything is fate. The ancients said, a blessed person waits for a blessed land, a blessed land waits for a blessed person. If it’s destined for me, Old Zhao, to be buried in good feng shui, then no one can destroy it. Back then, when Zhu Yuanzhang’s mother died of the plague, and they couldn’t afford a coffin, they had to wrap her body in some grass and prepare to bury her, but unexpectedly, on the way, they encountered heavy rain, and a pile of earth collapsed from the hillside, just burying her mother inside. It looked quite fitting. As a result, Zhu Chongba later defeated Chen Youliang and ruled the world, becoming a true dragon emperor. This is the so-called ‘heavenly burial,’ you can’t stop it, it’s not something ordinary people can force?” He tried to comfort himself, imagining himself as Zhu Chongba reincarnated.
Early the next morning, Old Master Zhao took a bag of silver coins to Four Saints Ridge. He didn’t tell his son about this. He was afraid that his son, unable to keep his mouth shut, would tell his wife, and then the whole world would know. When he arrived at Four Saints Ridge, he found that the rogue had already been waiting there for a long time.
“You came quite early, don’t worry, I won’t change my promise. Here, take it!” Old Master Zhao took out a small bag from his pocket and threw it at the rogue.
The rogue sneered, swiftly caught it, weighed it in his hand, and said, “Not a single coin short, right?”
Old Master Zhao angrily said, “You better go down the mountain and enjoy yourself, I can’t stand the sight of you.”
“Alright, take the money, and I’ll take the disaster, goodbye. May you live forever, and your descendants be happy. Hahaha…” The rogue put the money in his pocket and swaggered away.
“Damn you, may you die a horrible death!” Although Old Master Zhao had sent away the plague god, he was still quite unhappy in his heart, originally he didn’t need to spend a single extra coin. So, without cursing fiercely, it was hard to vent his hatred. But perhaps it was really destined that Old Master Zhao couldn’t become Zhu Chongba, his loss of money and vicious curses didn’t help him eliminate the disaster before him.
After the rogue got the extorted money and went down the mountain, he originally planned to find a place to spend it well. But his ugly nature suddenly made him have a whimsical idea: “Why should I keep my promise? Am I a hero or a knight? Cut it out, I won’t comply with you, I must break it.”
Thinking of these wicked ideas, the rogue suddenly lost all interest in gambling, instead, he was stimulated by another violent excitement, feeling extremely pleasurable. He picked up a big iron hammer, quietly climbed up the back mountain of Four Saints Ridge, then found Old Master Zhao’s treasure site, dug up the soil, and swung the hammer at the brown coffin lid a few times.
Bang, bang, bang—the sound of iron hitting stone immediately echoed through the mountains. It didn’t break. The rogue hammered and hammered, but strangely, after five minutes of work, he still couldn’t break the lid. The rogue wiped the sweat from his forehead and muttered to himself, “Is it really a treasure? Can’t even break it with a hammer. Alright, I’ll use some evil, see if it breaks!”
When he was a child, he had heard old people say, if you want a family to immediately have bad luck, just urinate on their ancestral grave, it’s guaranteed to work every time. And he also heard, why Hubei couldn’t produce an emperor, because some concubine, after death, urinated on the earth vein of Hubei, which shouldn’t have been done. So, the aura of the dragon vein was driven away to Hunan.
“Alright, that’s what I’ll do, I’ll urinate on you first, then hammer.” The rogue, without hesitation, took off his pants and urinated on the brown lid. Hey, it hit the mark.
Unexpectedly, this trick really worked, after the stone lid was soaked in urine for five minutes, it suddenly made a hissing sound, as if diluted by chemicals, then turned black, and with a ‘pop,’ a puff of green smoke emerged, dispersing into the universe.
That wasn’t all, at this moment, the bright sunny day was suddenly surrounded by large dark clouds, heavily covering the top of Four Saints Ridge. Then, strong winds rose, thunder and lightning clashed, and heavy rain poured down. This scared the rogue out of his wits, he had never encountered such sudden weather changes, and he was sensitive that such changes seemed to have a great relationship with himself. The commotion was too big, although he was a troublemaker, he was still afraid of Buddha’s five-finger mountain. He braved the rain, hurriedly covered the stone coffin with soil, and after re-burying the scene, he rolled and crawled down the mountain, afraid of being struck by lightning.
Actually, when the rogue was scared and ran down the mountain, the people below, that is, the entire Shangxiu Mountain Village, were even more surprised. Old Master Zhao was so frightened that he immediately fell to the ground. Because the thunderous scene was only on the top of Four Saints Ridge, while Xiushan Village was still sunny and clear. After seeing such a scene, the villagers immediately boiled over.
Everyone thought that a thousand-year-old monster that had taken human form had appeared on the mountain and caught the attention of heaven, so the Jade Emperor sent gods to thunder and subdue the monster. But Old Master Zhao, lying on the ground, had another concern.
He remembered the three curses told by the geomancer who had shown him the land but hadn’t been paid: “First, once the aura leaks, the earth will shake and the mountains will tremble. The coffin appears, lightning flashes and thunder roars. Second, heaven descends on Xiushan, the stone coffin is behind, once this land appears, June floods will come. Third, three months later, a child will be born in the lower village, and will drown in seven days. And now, Four Saints Ridge is thundering and raining for no reason, could it be that someone has broken my stone coffin treasure site? But who else knows the location of the stone coffin treasure site, except for the rogue?”
“Could it be that the rogue has gone back on his word and is not keeping his promise?”
Old Master Zhao became more and more terrified, and could no longer care so much, he got up from the ground and ran towards the mountain. He wanted to see what was going on.
“Dad, what are you doing, it’s raining on the mountain!” The son, afraid that his father would get into trouble, quickly grabbed his arm to stop him from going up the mountain. The father ignored his son, forcefully shook off his hand, and broke free.
“Something big has happened, I need to go up and see, you wait at home.”
“No, it’s too dangerous, I can’t let you go up.” The son grabbed his father’s clothes again, refusing to let go. The father, angry, slapped his son’s face, with a ‘slap,’ the son’s hand immediately moved from his father’s body to his own face.
The son angrily said, “Dad, you old fool, why did you hit me, I’m doing it for your own good. You need to understand.”
The father had no mood to deal with his son’s inappropriate curses, without looking back, he climbed towards Four Saints Ridge, his heart only thinking of one question, “Could it be that I, Old Zhao, really don’t have the fortune to enjoy such a treasure site?”
He doubted and climbed and climbed, soon entering the rain. Ouch—the road was too slippery, he fell. It didn’t matter, he got up again. He pulled up his pants that had fallen to his thighs, then climbed and climbed. The heavy rain beat against his body, lightning still thundered above his head. He was like an old beggar with no home to return to, swaying alone in the wind and rain, looking so small and weathered.
After a while, he finally reached the top of the mountain, and was about to reach his treasure site, his face seemed to feel a bit of relief, but just then, another loud thunderclap, crackling, a big tree was split in two, and the top part of the tree fell towards him.
Ah—he was crushed under the big tree, and thus bid farewell to the world. After death, his eyes were wide open, staring in the direction of the “stone coffin treasure site” he had longed for.
Two hours later, the storm finally stopped, the sky above Four Saints Ridge was no longer covered with dark clouds, instead, a beautiful rainbow appeared.
Old Master Zhao hadn’t returned yet, the son in the house was a bit anxious. After all, it was his own father, no matter how big the grudge, it couldn’t be remembered for a lifetime. He informed his wife, then went towards Four Saints Ridge to search. He had thought of countless possibilities, such as a broken leg, or getting lost. But he never expected that his father would be crushed under a big tree and could no longer move.
“Dad, what’s wrong with you, wake up, Dad! I told you not to come, you insisted, now it’s good… Dad! My disobedient Dad! You just left like this, what should I do.” The son could no longer hide his sadness, tears streaming down his face.
Youzi sneered, caught it deftly, weighed it in his hand, and said, “Not a single coin short, I hope?”
Zhao Lao Taigong angrily replied, “You just go down the mountain and enjoy yourself. I’m sick of seeing you.”
“Alright then, money taken, problem solved. Goodbye. May you live a long life and may your descendants be happy. Hahaha…” Youzi put the money into his pocket and strutted off joyfully.
“You bastard, may you die a bad death!” Although Zhao Lao Taigong had driven away the plague god, he still felt quite unhappy. He shouldn’t have had to spend a single penny. He had to curse fiercely to relieve his anger. But perhaps it was truly fate that Zhao Lao Taigong was never meant to become another Zhu Yuanzhang. His financial loss and curses did not help him overcome the current disaster smoothly.
After Youzi got the extorted money and went down the mountain, he originally planned to find a place to spend it. But his vile nature suddenly sparked an idea: “Why should I keep my promise? Am I a hero or a noble man? Hmph, I won’t follow your wishes. I’m going to ruin it for you.”
Thinking of these wicked ideas, Youzi suddenly lost all interest in gambling. Instead, he felt a thrilling excitement from a different kind of violent impulse. He grabbed a big iron hammer, sneaked up the back of Sisheng Ridge, found Zhao Lao Taigong’s treasure spot, dug up some soil, and then swung the hammer at the brown coffin lid.
Bang, bang, bang—the sound of iron striking stone echoed through the mountains and fields. It didn’t break. Youzi kept hammering, but strangely, after five minutes of effort, he still couldn’t break the lid. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Youzi muttered to himself, “Is this really a treasure? It won’t break even with a hammer. Well then, I’ll try something more sinister. Let’s see if you’ll break!”
As a child, he had heard from elders that if you want to bring immediate misfortune to someone’s family, you only need to urinate on their ancestral grave—it was said to be a surefire method. He had also heard that the reason why Hubei never produced an emperor was because a certain empress, after her death, urinated inappropriately on the dragon vein of Hubei’s land, causing the spiritual energy of the dragon vein to flee to Hunan.
“Alright, that’s exactly what I’ll do. I’ll piss on you first, then hammer you.” Without hesitation, Youzi lowered his pants and aimed at the brown lid, letting out a stream. Oh, right on target.
Unexpectedly, this trick actually worked. Five minutes after the stone lid was soaked in urine, it suddenly emitted a hissing sound, as if being dissolved by a chemical substance. Then it turned black, and with a ‘pop,’ it released a puff of green smoke that scattered into the universe.
But that wasn’t all. Suddenly, on this bright and sunny day, thick dark clouds gathered from nowhere, covering the sky over Sisheng Ridge. Then came violent winds, thunder and lightning, and torrential rain poured down. This sudden weather change terrified Youzi—he had never encountered such a phenomenon before, and he keenly felt that it was somehow related to him. The disturbance was too intense. Although he was a devilish troublemaker, he still feared the Buddha’s five-finger mountain. In the rain, he hurriedly covered the stone coffin with soil, and after re-burying the scene, he rolled and crawled down the mountain in panic, fearing he might be struck by lightning.
In fact, as Youzi was scared and running down the mountain, the villagers below, the entire village of Shangxiu, were even more astonished. Zhao Lao Taigong was so frightened that he collapsed to the ground immediately.
Because the thunder and lightning were only happening right above Sisheng Ridge, while Shangxiu Village was still bathed in bright sunshine. When the villagers saw this scene, they immediately became agitated.
Everyone believed that a thousand-year-old demon had transformed into human form on the mountain and attracted the attention of heaven, so the Jade Emperor had sent gods to strike thunder to subdue the demon. But Zhao Lao Taigong, lying on the ground, had a different concern.
He recalled the three curses told by the yin-yang master who had surveyed the land for him but had not been paid: “First, once the spiritual energy leaks, the mountains and earth will shake. When the coffin appears, lightning will flash and thunder will roar. Second, when heaven sends rain to Shangxiu Mountain, and the stone coffin is buried, a flood will come in June. Third, three months later, a child will be born in the lower village and will drown within seven days. And now, thunder and rain without reason on Sisheng Ridge—could it be that someone has ruined my stone coffin treasure spot? But who else could know the location of the stone coffin treasure spot besides Youzi?”
“Could it be that Youzi went back on his word and broke his promise?”
The more Zhao Lao Taigong thought about it, the more terrified he became. He couldn’t care less anymore. He got up from the ground and ran up the mountain. He needed to see for himself.
“Dad, where are you going? It’s raining on the mountain!” His son feared something might happen to his father and quickly grabbed his arm to stop him from going up. But the father ignored his son, forcefully shook off his grip, and continued.
“Something big has happened. I need to go up and check. You wait for me at home.”
“No, that’s too dangerous. I won’t let you go up,” his son grabbed his father’s clothes again, refusing to let go. In anger, the father slapped his son’s face. With a ‘slap,’ his son’s hands immediately moved from his father’s body to his own face.
His son angrily said, “Dad, you old fool, why did you hit me? I’m doing this for your own good. You need to understand.”
Zhao Lao Taigong had no mood to deal with his son’s incoherent curses. Without looking back, he headed up Sisheng Ridge. At this moment, his mind was filled with only one thought: “Could it be that I, Zhao Mouren, truly don’t have the fortune to enjoy such a treasure spot?”
Doubtful, he climbed and climbed. Soon, he was caught in the rain. Oh no—the road was too muddy, and he slipped and fell. No matter, he stood up again. He pulled up his pants, which had slipped down to his thighs, and continued climbing. The heavy rain battered his body, and lightning still roared above his head. He looked like a homeless old beggar, lonely and swaying in the storm, appearing so small and weathered.
After a while, he finally reached the mountaintop. He was about to arrive at his treasure spot, and a hint of relief seemed to appear on his face. But just then, another loud thunderclap sounded, and with a crash, a big tree was split into two halves. The upper half fell directly toward him.
“Ahh—” He was crushed beneath the big tree and thus departed from this world forever. After his death, his eyes remained wide open, staring directly at his longed-for “stone coffin treasure spot.”
Two hours later, the storm finally subsided. The sky above Sisheng Ridge was no longer filled with dark clouds but instead displayed a beautiful rainbow.
Zhao Lao Taigong had not returned yet, and his son at home began to grow anxious. After all, he was still his own father, and no matter how big the grudge was, it couldn’t last forever. He informed his wife and then set out along the same path toward Sisheng Ridge. He had imagined countless possibilities, like a broken leg or getting lost. But he never could have imagined that his father would be crushed beneath a big tree, unable to move ever again.
“Dad, what’s happened to you? Wake up, Dad! I told you not to come, not to come, but you insisted. Now look what’s happened… Dad! You disobedient old man! You’ve just left me. What am I going to do without you?” The son could no longer hide his sorrow, and tears poured from his eyes uncontrollably.
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