“Are you out of your mind?” she raised her voice again, “Why can’t you expand your shop later? Does it have to be right when Chengcai is getting married?”
“Mom, be reasonable,” I said. “I decided to expand first, and he decided to marry afterward.”
“What the hell are you saying?!”
I frowned and held the phone away from my ear, trying to spare myself the noise.
I already knew every word she was about to say by heart.
She and Dad had raised me through hardship, wiping my snot and changing my diapers.
It would’ve been easy if they’d only had me, but they had to struggle raising two—God knows how exhausting it’s been all these years.
In her version of events, if not for her meticulous care, I never would’ve gotten into Southwest University of Political Science and Law, nor landed such a good job.
But I remember clearly—when I graduated from middle school, I sobbed and begged to attend high school.
She refused.
She sent me out to work, earning money for my younger brother, who ranked dead last in his class.
I even overheard her and Dad discussing marrying me off at seventeen for a dowry of ten thousand yuan, just to send Chengcai to school in the city.
If not for the volunteer teacher who paid my tuition and got me into high school, I’d probably be back in the mountains now—thirty-three years old with a teenager of my own, my daily focus revolving around tending to a pig and five chickens.
That teacher once told me that if I wanted to change my life, I had to see the world beyond.
She was the guiding light of my life.
“Do you have any idea how much you’ve embarrassed me?!” she kept shouting. “You’re thirty-five! Thirty-five, you hear me?! How many more years can you even earn money?”
“Mom, I’m thirty-three,” I said.
“Thirty-something and unmarried! Your dad and I have lost all face!” She took a deep breath. “Who in the village isn’t married by their thirties? They all say there’s something wrong with you, you know that?”
“That’s exactly why I don’t want to stay in the village, Mom,” I forced a bitter laugh. “I want a different life.”
“You don’t, but your brother does!” She steered the conversation back to its core. “Give him 200,000 yuan to buy an apartment in the county. Then you won’t have to fork over another penny, alright?”
“I can’t,” I repeated firmly. “Chengcai is thirty-two and has never held a job. What right does he have to get married? Does he even have the ability to plan his own future?”
“Because of you!” she snapped. “Aren’t you some big-shot boss in Chengdu?”
“Mom, I’m not a boss. I’m a lawyer.”
“Oh, so you sue people. If you sue those rich folks, they’ll be scared of you, won’t they?” She kept pushing her logic. “Just demand money from them. If they don’t pay, sue them. How’s that?”
This was beyond ridiculous.
“Mom, that’s not just illegal—it’s unfair,” I said. “When’s Chengcai’s wedding?”
“Next week, June 6th,” she grumbled. “One week left—hurry up!”
“Fine, I’ll make sure to bring a red envelope.”
“Red envelope?! You damn—”
I hung up before she could finish.
No matter how long I’ve been independent, a call from home always leaves me on the verge of collapse.
My family has never spared a single thought for me.
To them, I only have two purposes:
Either go back and marry someone, earn a dowry, and become a baby-making machine until we never speak again. Or stay in Chengdu, keep earning money, send it home, and turn into a never-ending cash cow.
I pulled out a pack of Kuanzhai cigarettes from my bag and mechanically clamped one between my lips.
I was exhausted.
Dealing with family was more draining than any court case.
Just as I lit the cigarette, the emergency exit door creaked open. Instinctively, I hid the cigarette behind my back—some people judge women who smoke, and I didn’t need that hassle.
“Sister Zhang?” Xiao Sun peeked in, eyeing me curiously.
Recognizing him, I put the cigarette back in my mouth. “You startled me. What’s up?”
“You were on the phone for so long—I was worried something was wrong. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
Xiao Sun deftly took the cigarette pack from my hand and pulled one out for himself. “Haven’t seen you smoke in a while. What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” I shook my head. “Just family stuff.”
After a pause, I glanced at his hands as he lit up. “I thought you quit?”
“Sister Zhang, I told you before—if you quit, I quit. If you smoke, I smoke.” He took a drag and slowly closed his eyes. “If we take care of our health, we do it together. If we ruin it, we ruin it together.”
I sighed, torn between amusement and exasperation. “What kind of logic is that? Tying your well-being to mine—is that fair?”
“Fair enough,” Xiao Sun nodded. “Sister Zhang, no matter what, I just want to be with you.”
He’d said similar things before, always leaving me uneasy. My only response was silence.
When I didn’t answer, he spoke again, this time hesitantly. “Sister Zhang, no work tomorrow. I bought an extra ticket to Richie Jen’s concert. I heard you like him—wanna go together?”
I tapped my portable ashtray, collecting the ash, then looked up. “Xiao Sun, what a coincidence—no work tomorrow, you bought tickets to Richie Jen’s show, got two by accident, and he just happens to be my favorite singer. What are you trying to do?”
“I…” He faltered, his ears reddening before he finally said, “Sister Zhang, we’ve known each other for years. I don’t want to stay as just your subordinate. I want to know you better.”
Young guys these days have no fear. Despite all the storms I’ve weathered in court, his words still made my heart race.
“But Sister Zhang… you’ve always shut yourself off. I can never get close to you.” His voice grew tense. “Life is long—why don’t we… walk it together?”
I studied his earnest eyes, then silently lowered my head and stubbed out my cigarette.
For some reason, hearing this filled me with an inexplicable sadness.
I was like a bamboo basket full of holes—unworthy of holding anyone’s tenderness.
“Xiao Sun, you’re… twenty-six, right?”
“Yeah, Sister Zhang. I’ll be twenty-seven after my birthday.”
“I’m seven years older than you.” My voice was flat. “You’re young and capable—you can find someone better. You’ll have a brighter future. If you tie yourself to me, one day you’ll realize how broken I really am. Everything you see now is just a front.”
The air grew heavy, the only sound the muffled beat of wedding music in the distance.
“I don’t care if you’re broken or full of holes—I’ll use everything I have to mend you.” His gaze grew resolute. “Sister Zhang, I like you. Not your age, not your background, not your past. I like the strong, hardworking, determined you. Every word I’ve said has been thought over for a long time. Now, I’m just waiting for your answer.”
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