Chapter 380: Home and Family

He said he was waiting for my reply.

How could I possibly respond?

I want so badly to say yes. I want to come home every day with someone I love and say, “You worked hard today.”

I want us to make a messy dinner together on our days off, laughing and frowning as we finish every bite.

I want someone to listen when I say, “I’m so tired,” and let me silently cry on their shoulder for a while.

But do I deserve that kind of life?

This morning, while making breakfast, the buttered bread slipped from my hand. Just as I thought it would stain the carpet, I bent down and caught it in one swift motion.

It was such a smooth move—like something a martial arts master would do.

But when I looked up, the room was empty.

I wish someone had been there to see it, so I could smile and ask, “Wasn’t that cool?”

And they’d tease me back, saying they’d never seen a lawyer with such quick reflexes.

Then we’d happily start the day—or every day after.

I want so badly to say yes.

But that would be selfish. It wouldn’t be fair to him.

Like I said, I’m a broken person. A miserable childhood made me stubborn and withdrawn. A chaotic family leaves me drowning in anxiety and sorrow. I can’t bring all that into a relationship.

It wouldn’t be fair to my partner.

Xiao Sun is a true Chengdu native. His parents are both cultured professionals—polite and refined. I was impressed after meeting them just once. His family is similar to mine in that they have both a son and a daughter—Xiao Sun has a younger sister.

The fact that his parents willingly had a daughter after already having a son is nothing short of a miracle in my eyes.

And I’ve met that girl. Doted on by her parents and older brother, she radiates confidence, unstoppable in everything she does.

But what am I?

A monster.

“I can’t say yes,” I said firmly. As the words left my mouth, I felt an invisible blade slice through me.

“Wh-why?” Xiao Sun stammered, visibly flustered. “Sister Zhang, was I too sudden? If you need time to think, I can wait—”

“We’re adults. No childish games—this isn’t the kind of thing that needs time.” I shook my head. “No means no. I’m sorry.”

Seeing the disappointment on his face, I felt that invisible blade pierce me again.

It hurt.

“O-okay…” Xiao Sun nodded, crestfallen. “Sister Zhang, don’t apologize. If anyone should, it’s me. I’m really, really sorry…”

“Don’t be,” I said with a smile. “It’s good to be honest. Xiao Sun, you’re an amazing person. I refused because of my own issues. Please don’t be upset.”

“Mmm…” He nodded, but his eyes betrayed his heartbreak.

After attending Mengmeng’s wedding, I gave her two weeks off.

Though she wanted to return to work, a honeymoon is a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I’d rather she enjoy paid leave than waste such precious time on work.

A week passed quickly. Xiao Sun and I handled a commercial dispute case together, but due to insufficient evidence from both parties, no verdict was reached. A second hearing was soon scheduled.

“Xiao Sun, keep an eye on things for the next two days,” I said. “I need to go home.”

“Home?” He raised an eyebrow. “Sister Zhang, every time you get a call from home, you look upset. Did something happen?”

“No, it’s good news,” I said with a smile. “My brother is getting married.”

“Brother…?” He blinked in surprise. “Sister Zhang, you have a brother?”

“Yes.”

“You’re so composed—I’ve never heard you mention him.”

“Not mentioning him doesn’t mean he doesn’t exist.” I sighed. “It’s been years since I’ve been back. This is the last time. No matter what, I have to show my face.”

“Last time…?” He looked confused. “How can meeting your own brother be the ‘last time’?”

“Yes,” I said, almost cheerfully. “Anyway, I’ll be back soon—a day at most, two at the latest. Hold down the fort while I’m gone.”

“Don’t worry, Sister Zhang. I’ve got it.” He nodded. “But… do you need me to drive you? Are you taking your car?”

“No car,” I said. “No need to show off. I’ll take the bus.”

“Alright. Stay safe, and message me when you arrive.”

“Will do,” I said. “If anything comes up at home, feel free to handle it first. Other than that commercial dispute, we don’t have any urgent cases.”

“My home *is* Chengdu!” He grinned. “Don’t worry, I’ll hold the line.”

Seeing him like this made me happy.

He hadn’t distanced himself after my rejection.

Just being able to work alongside someone familiar gives me strength.

He’ll find someone better—but that someone can’t be me.

And how I wish I could sever all ties with that mountain village forever.

At twenty-three, I unilaterally cut off all contact with my family. I changed my address, phone number, and job, thinking I could start anew. But they called the police.

They claimed to fear their daughter had been deceived in the city and begged the officers to find me. Their acting was flawless—the police believed them, convinced I was just another girl dazzled by city lights.

Of course, parents worrying about a missing daughter—what could be more natural?

They got my address, workplace, and phone number. The next day, they stormed into my office, wailing and painting me as an ungrateful, unfilial daughter. They spun lies in front of all my colleagues. At the peak of my career, my reputation was ruined overnight. With no way to defend myself, I left that promising company.

But who would listen to me? Back then, out of my 2,200-yuan salary, I sent 1,800 home. Three people depended on me alone.

If I disappeared, they’d call the police. Educated officers believed in “blood being thicker than water,” that “mothers and daughters don’t hold grudges,” that “a real mother wouldn’t harm her daughter.” I understand them.

But they couldn’t understand me—they hadn’t lived my life.

That incident taught me a harsh lesson: this bond couldn’t be broken. If I dared skip Chengcai’s wedding, my list of sins would grow longer, and everything I’d worked for could be at risk.

I bought a bus ticket, dressed plainly, and set off.

I couldn’t let the villagers know how well I was doing in Chengdu—otherwise, they’d become a bottomless pit, draining me dry.

A bus ride, simple clothes, and light makeup were all I needed.

I’m just an ordinary person. I don’t have extra money to give them, nor the power to find jobs in the city for idle hands. I’m just me—nothing more.

The bus left Chengdu, winding through mountain roads for over two hours before dropping me off ten kilometers from the village.

From there, I took an unlicensed taxi, then a three-wheeled cart.

I left in the morning and didn’t reach the village until dusk.

Preparations for the wedding were in full swing—tables lined the roads, red paper adorned the power poles. The ceremony would begin tomorrow.

“Laidi?!” An auntie suddenly recognized me.

“Yes,” I nodded. “I’m back.”

“Tch…” She gave me a disdainful look before forcing a smile. “How many years has it been? Is the city *that* good?”

“No,” I said. “But Chengcai’s getting married. As his sister, I had to come.”

“Oh?” Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Well, hurry home then.”

I nodded, took a deep breath, and walked toward “home.”

I hadn’t lived there since my first day of high school.

During school, I stayed in the dorm; weekends and holidays were spent working. This place is foreign to me.

The villagers’ stares weighed on me. They’re the world’s best spies—every word spoken at home spreads through the village by morning.

Especially about me.

The stubborn woman who refused to earn her brother’s tuition and insisted on going to school herself.

The loose woman who fell for the city’s “glitz and glamour” and wouldn’t come home.

The pitiful woman in her thirties, unmarried and unwanted.

The stingy woman who wouldn’t pay for her brother’s bride price or house down payment.

The failure who, after over a decade of struggle, still hadn’t “returned in glory.”

That’s how they see me. The village’s favorite joke.

My existence is their timeless, endlessly discussed topic.