Chapter 384: A Predestined Life

How many days has it been…?

I looked at the marks on the wall and couldn’t help but let out a bitter smile.

Twenty days.

I’ve been trapped here for twenty days!!

For these three weeks, all I’ve gotten each day is a bottle of water and a bag of bread.

A person can survive three days without water and a week without food.

But with just one bottle of water and one piece of bread a day… how long can someone last?

Severe nutritional imbalance has left my whole body weak.

In the middle of summer, I’m locked in a stiflingly hot little room. There’s nowhere suitable to relieve myself, so the stench in here is unbearable.

Countless maggots and flies hover around, and the walls are crawling with endless cockroaches.

How laughable… my current situation makes me want to laugh so badly.

Me—someone who couldn’t stand a speck of dust in my home—now spends my days surrounded by cockroaches.

At first, I ran around trying to avoid them, but this space is too small. No matter how I moved, I couldn’t escape them.

I had no choice but to let them crawl all over me.

Cockroaches feel soft and cold. When they crawl over my arms, it tickles—so lightly that you can barely feel their weight.

I’m truly terrified of these things, but I can’t escape them. Every day, I can feel goosebumps covering my entire body. But I know that even when I sleep, they’ll nestle against me, rubbing their tiny legs together.

At night, they talk to me, using my body for warmth. I can pluck cockroaches from my hair at will.

In this dark, cramped room, I have no hygiene products—just bugs… endless bugs…

But who am I, really?

Am I Zhang Laidi, the seven-year-old who had to cook for the whole family every day after school? Or am I Zhang Chenze, the thirty-three-year-old who had cars sent to pick her up for meetings at major companies?

I have two completely different lives—that can’t be normal, can it?

One of them must be a dream, right?

Yes… I must be delusional.

If I had to choose now… I’d pick Zhang Laidi.

I don’t want to die.

I’ve lost. I admit defeat.

These people have no regard for the law. He’ll absolutely let me starve to death here.

If I don’t become Zhang Laidi, I’ll just be a corpse.

I’m human… I’m not a pig. I shouldn’t be locked in a tiny room, forced to live in my own filth.

I want to stand up. I want to shake off these bugs. I want to change into clean clothes, take a shower, and eat a juicy peach.

I’ll be Zhang Laidi.

What kind of impossible dream was I even chasing before?

I foolishly thought I could escape this place, that I could start a new life.

Those ten years in Chengdu were the most absurd dream of my life.

I was wrong. I won’t dare again.

If I can just leave this room, I’ll agree to anything.

I’ll be Mrs. Ma. I’ll stay in the village. I’ll even bear his children.

This was always the life I was destined for from birth—I was just struggling in a dreamlike daze.

If sheer effort alone could free someone from these circumstances, why would so many miserable people still exist in the world? That wouldn’t be fair to them.

Now that my dream is over, it’s time to return to the life I was meant to live.

Cockroach friends… don’t you think I’m right?

But why hasn’t that butcher come back for me?

Didn’t he say he’d only starve me for five days?

It’s been twenty now!

Thankfully, I can still tell night from day in here, and I can faintly hear sounds in the distance—otherwise, I’d have gone insane long ago.

What’s happened to the village lately?

A while ago, I kept hearing police sirens and faint arguments, but these past few days, it’s been eerily quiet.

But I don’t even have the strength to speak anymore—I can’t even cry for help.

Who’s going to save me?

But would it even matter? This village is so tight-knit, they’d all give the same false testimony.

In these remote mountains, even if someone died, no one would bother reporting it.

Finally, late at night, the door to the room opened.

It was only the second time in twenty days.

“Dang it…” Butcher Ma stood there, visibly irritated. He glanced around to make sure no one was watching, then shut the door behind him.

Gasping for air, I reached out a hand, trying to speak—but I realized my arm had started to wither.

When did that happen…?

“What the hell did you do in the city?!” he asked, looking panicked. “Why are there so many cops? I couldn’t even come near this place for weeks…”

“Let me…” I managed to force out two words, using every last bit of my strength. “Let me go…”

“Still begging to leave?”

Only then did I notice the oil lamp in his hand. He set it aside and began unbuckling his belt.

My mind was foggy—for a second, I didn’t even understand what he was doing.

“Keeping you locked up is too much trouble… Can’t wait for you to submit. Gotta handle you first.”

Wait… wait a second…

It finally clicked, but my thoughts were sluggish. Every word I wanted to say felt like cars piling up in a crash, clogging my throat.

He slapped me to the ground and started tearing at my clothes.

I couldn’t fight back at all.

Can I at least say something?

I agree… I’ll agree to anything, but don’t touch me like this…

Please…

“Ugh…” He pulled down my pants and grimaced in disgust. “You stupid woman… you’re filthier than a pig.”

I was breaking. Every shred of dignity I’d clung to, every bit of resistance I’d fought for—all of it crumbled in that moment.

What terrible sin did I commit to deserve a life this wretched?

What am I supposed to do?

At this point, I was like a corpse—no matter what this foul-smelling man did to me, I couldn’t move an inch.

“Stupid woman…” Seeing no reaction from me, he raised his hand and struck my face.

He slapped me over and over until my mouth filled with the taste of blood, but I didn’t make a sound.

Only when he finally stopped moving on top of me did I let the tears fall.

This is my life.

The life I was fated for from the day I was born.

They say on the day I was born, there were six babies in the delivery room—five of them were boys.

My father and mother excitedly asked the doctor, “Which one’s our son?”

When they found out the only girl was theirs, their faces darkened, and they turned to leave. If the doctor hadn’t stopped them, I wouldn’t even have parents.

“You’re really stupid…”

Butcher Ma stood up and pulled up his pants. Just when I thought it was over, he dealt me another blow.

He pulled out his phone—who knows how old it was—and started taking pictures and videos of me from every angle.

Everything. The things that could be seen and the things that couldn’t.

Illegal… he’s breaking the law again…

But wait… why should I care about the law?

This is my life now. I’m not a lawyer—I’m Zhang Laidi.

At my most helpless, my most broken, my most filthy—he recorded every second of it.

Now, I couldn’t even lift a hand to cover my face.

“Stupid woman, you like reporting people, huh?” He turned the phone toward me, shaking it in my face. “If you dare say a word, I’ll spread these everywhere. Got it?”

With that, he spat on the ground, muttered, “Disgusting,” and slammed the door shut, locking it again.

He’s leaving… again?

No, please… don’t leave me here. I think I’m dying.

I’m hurt… sick… starving…

Don’t abandon me here…

My whole body aches. In my daze, I feel a cockroach crawling over my face.

Stop touching me… please, just stop…

With the last of my strength, I lift a hand and pluck the cockroach from my face.

I want to crush it in my palm.

But that wouldn’t be fair.

This cockroach did nothing wrong. It doesn’t deserve to die just because of my emotions—that wouldn’t be fair.

My suffering is already unbearable. There’s no need to drag another life into it.