“No way…”
My voice trembled slightly, feeling as though my entire life had been turned upside down in an instant.
“Why not?” White Goat asked. “You’re a smart person now. You should be able to see the signs yourself.”
“Myself…”
“You always feel like something’s off with your memories, but have you ever questioned your time in the ‘Land of the End’?” White Goat said. “Sometimes, looking at things from a different angle makes everything crystal clear.”
I slowly furrowed my brows… White Goat had pointed out a direction I’d never considered before.
So… in the real world, I was actually just an utterly ordinary person?
A phrase White Goat had once said to me during our first “paper strategy” session suddenly echoed in my ears:
“Yan Zhichun, I almost forgot you’re a smart person.”
Why had he said that back then? What did he mean by “almost forgot” I was smart…?
The more I thought about it, the more my entire body trembled.
My favorite phrase to say to others was, “I’m not a smart person.”
But why did I keep repeating “I’m not a smart person”?
Does that sound like something a smart person would say?
“What do you mean, ‘I’m not a smart person’?” Jiang Ruoxue’s words also reverberated in my mind. “There aren’t that many smart people in the world to begin with. Why the need to emphasize it? I’ve never heard anyone introduce themselves by saying, ‘I’m very smart.'”
Why did I keep insisting I wasn’t smart…?
The reality was, I thought I had some level of intelligence—enough to analyze and solve most problems. Yet, whenever I spoke, my first instinct was to declare, “I’m not smart.”
Excessive modesty is just pride in disguise. If I were truly smart, wouldn’t saying that all the time just annoy people?
I told everyone I was mediocre from childhood, that I had to study harder just to keep up.
I said my memory was terrible, that I had to learn mnemonic techniques just to retain information.
A mediocre, forgetful, perpetually isolated person like me… was actually someone who had always been smart?
In this place where even “survival” was a distant hope for normal people, I built a massive organization and spent years deciphering the psychology of a true monster.
Does that make sense?
Yes… when I thought about it carefully, my entire life was full of contradictions…
My thoughts didn’t align with my personality.
It was like the difference between nobility and a nouveau riche…
I had no idea how to properly handle my own intelligence. Even if I could deduce many things… my words always carried an undercurrent of insecurity.
I could never be as confident as White Goat…
Because his intelligence was his own, while mine was something that had been bestowed upon me…
Even when I spoke the truth, I struggled to believe it myself.
Because I had made countless guesses in my life, yet never once been right—so I instinctively doubted myself.
If I had always been this intelligent, why would I constantly undermine myself?
Strangely enough, it all started to make sense…
But did I really kill my roommate?
Using such a flawed method?
“Yan Zhichun, you are knowledgeable,” White Goat said. “But it’s a shame you don’t know how to use that knowledge. You’re like a treasure vault without a door—brilliance trapped with no way out. I simply installed the door for you. The knowledge was always yours. Now, your mind is more active, able to apply that knowledge in ways you couldn’t before.”
I swallowed hard as unsettling fragments of memory surfaced in my mind.
In my memories, I wasn’t a smart person. I struggled to keep up, no matter how hard I tried.
I studied diligently, but I could only memorize by rote… My mind wasn’t that sharp.
“Goat… when did this all start?”
“From the moment you gained your memories,” White Goat replied. “Yan Zhichun, I discovered your vault and simply adjusted how you think. So don’t feel inadequate—everything you’ve achieved in the ‘Land of the End’ is still based on your own knowledge.”
So that’s how it was…
No wonder I had never retained my memories all this time…
If I were truly smart, why would I have been stuck for so many years?
If I were truly smart, why would I have been so obsessed with White Goat, another smart person?
“But there are side effects,” White Goat admitted. “Altering someone’s nature and traits can lead to unpredictable consequences. In other words, only if my thoughts remain clear can your memories stay intact. So don’t push me into chaotic thinking—otherwise, it won’t just be me who loses sanity, but… all of you.”
“All of us…?” I latched onto that unsettling detail. “Goat… are there others like me here?”
“Not many, but they’re important,” he said. “But rest assured, I won’t mistreat any of them.”
Though White Goat wasn’t comforting me, I still felt a strange sense of relief.
This was just how he operated. He did things that made him seem like a villain, but as long as I believed his ultimate goal was to free us all, I wouldn’t break.
I would always stand by White Goat—just as I told Jiang Ruoxue. I’d help him until we reached an outcome.
“It’s about time,” White Goat said. “Yan Zhichun, I’ll now tell you about the ‘Final Task.'”
“Final Task…?”
“It’s something you can’t accomplish alone,” he continued. “You’ll need to pour every ounce of effort you’ve accumulated over the years into it.”
“Alright, go on…”
I didn’t understand why White Goat was speaking this way now. He was deliberately avoiding the term “Extremists.” He could’ve just said, “with the power of the Extremists,” but instead, he phrased it as “years of effort.”
Was this part of his own plan? Was he subconsciously erasing the “Extremists” from his mind?
“In about two or three years, I’ll disappear completely from this game,” White Goat said. “Until then, I need you to bide your time and strengthen yourself and your team.”
“You… disappearing again…?” I hesitated.
“Yes. And when that happens, this game will reset,” he added. “Just like last time. If you notice I’m gone, you can try to find me—though it’ll be much harder this time.”
“Harder how…?”
“Likely, no one will know where I am,” White Goat said. “Not even White Snake or ‘Causality.’ White Snake won’t be able to track me, and ‘Causality’ won’t foresee the future I’ve orchestrated.”
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