Upon hearing the words “Kamehameha,” Yang Pao stumbled back five steps before steadying himself. “Damn, that’s inhumane! This technique actually exists?”
I said, “Bro, stop joking. You’ve watched too much *Dragon Ball*, huh? Monk Jiese… haha…” I tried to keep a straight face but ended up laughing. Jiese, however, grew impatient. “You’re misunderstanding again. Can you at least wait until I deal with Yang Pao before laughing?”
Seeing no room for negotiation, Yang Pao’s muscles bulged like bursting beans, nearly ripping through his clothes. His eyes bulged out like lanterns, claws extended, fangs grew, and his nose jutted forward ferociously.
I cursed, “Sh*t! So you’re just a wild boar!”
Jiese corrected, “Not quite. He’s a hybrid of a wild boar and a domestic pig—originally half-human, half-boar. It took him two years to fully transform into human form. He’s over a hundred years old and has committed countless atrocities. I tracked him down at the Jiangxi-Hubei border and chased him for half a year.”
I thought, *That’s my turf!*
As Jiese spoke, he removed eighteen prayer beads from his wrist and began chanting the Six-Syllable Mantra of Great Compassion. The sound was mesmerizing. The mantra—*Om Mani Padme Hum*—held immense power and wisdom. When chanted by a high monk, lost souls could attain enlightenment, and mountain spirits could achieve Buddhahood instantly.
Though not a master, Jiese’s recitation bathed the area in divine warmth. Even a few Yangtze River ghosts poked their heads from the wrecked boat, listening intently.
The boar demon reverted to its true form—green-faced with fangs and iron-hard bristles. Enraged by Jiese’s chant, it charged with the force of a thousand pounds, slamming into an invisible glowing *swastika* shield conjured by the beads.
Knocked back, the boar demon screeched and transformed again, growing stronger with each shift—just like in anime battles. It attacked once more, forcing Jiese to retreat, blood trickling from his lips. The demon’s bristles scraped against the shield, sparking flames and pushing Jiese toward the boat’s edge.
To make matters worse, the river ghosts, initially drawn by the chanting, now clutched Jiese’s legs with slimy, weed-covered hands—eight on his left leg, ten on his right.
The Yangtze, stretching thousands of miles, had claimed countless lives over the years, spawning thousands of water ghosts. Hearing the monk’s chant, some had awakened, eager to drag him underwater to continue his sermon.
I thought, *We’re screwed.* Yang Pao wasn’t bluffing. Jiese, young and inexperienced, was no match for this century-old boar demon.
I rushed to brace Jiese with my body, preventing him from falling in. Wielding a jade ruler, I jabbed at the ghosts’ hands and shouted, “Evil spirits, scram! Or I’ll roast you alive!”
The ghosts recoiled like they’d been electrocuted and plunged back into the water. “Monk Jiese, how can I help?”
Gritting his teeth, Jiese replied, “The demon’s only weakness is a black dog born on the sixth day of the month. If we had one, the boar would collapse.”
I smacked my forehead. *Of all days, I left Little Rascal behind!* “Why’s he afraid of a sixth-born pup?”
Jiese kicked the boar away and repositioned himself. “Thanks for the butt support… He drinks dog blood to suppress his fear of black dogs.”
As the boar charged again, Jiese shoved me aside, scattering his beads across the deck like Buddha’s tears. The demon pinned him down, its snout poised to crush him.
Jiese strained against its weight, weeping, “A proud monk of Famen Temple, dying under a boar’s snout… What shame…”
“Hold on!” I fished out my phone and dialed Xie Lingyu, praying she’d pick up.
The boar’s roar startled a couple on the riverbank mid-“battle.” The man yelled, “Who the hell’s screaming? Fight me, coward!” His voice echoed across the water as he struggled to resume.
The call connected. Xie Lingyu teased, “Out of money already?”
“It’s Yang Pao! Put Little Rascal on!” I dodged the boar’s bristle projectiles.
Moments later, the dog’s barks blasted through the phone. The boar faltered, its power waning. Jiese seized the moment, chanting the mantra again. The combined force of the barks and the mantra made the demon writhe in agony, banging its head against the deck.
Jiese grabbed its head and slapped it repeatedly. “I’ll teach you to harm others, to disobey, to run wild!”
*Since when do monks curse?* But it fit my ghost-hunter style—insults as weapons.
I told the phone, “Little Rascal, a hundred barks earn you a chicken leg.”
Gradually, the boar’s form shrank back into Yang Pao’s bald head.
“Jiese, let me take a turn,” I said, poking Yang Pao with the jade ruler. “You’ve dodged capture for years. Why stop now? Confess your crimes in Hubei and Jiangxi!”
Yang Pao glared, his bristles receding into chest hair. I plucked a handful. “Dense, huh?”
Tears streamed down his face. “Big bro, I swear I’ve done nothing wrong! A butcher’s been after me for years—I just ran!”
I slapped him twice. “You threw money and hit someone earlier. Think you can mess with my people?”
Yang Pao sobbed. “You cheated! Bringing a dog into a fight… I didn’t know that singer was yours!”
“How many dogs have you killed?”
“Not many! Some sold, some for hotpot… Hey, tip off the press about fake dog meat—cat and pork scams pay whistleblowers!”
I slapped on two corpse-suppressing talismans, making him tremble. They worked on his demonic aura too.
While I handled Yang Pao, Jiese gathered his beads—all but one.
“What now?” I asked.
“Find a secluded spot and stab him with a butcher’s knife. But his hide’s too thick for regular blades.”
Kneeling, talismans plastered all over, Yang Pao begged, “Spare me! I’ll return to my cave, to my sweethearts! They’ll be widows if I die!”
I softened. “Jiese, he’s crying. Can’t we just strip his powers and let him be a boar again?”
Jiese shook his head. “I’ve spared him before. If he escapes now, I can’t stop him.” He stripped off his robe, tied up Yang Pao, and kicked him, reverting him to a boar.
I patted the coarse hide. “Tough to butcher.”
“Deal’s a deal,” I said. “Half the profits.”
“Keep it all. But honestly, who’d buy this old boar? The meat’s too tough.”
I grinned. “Your loss. I’ll sell him for 50 grand.”
The boar’s ears twitched in fury. *Kill me, then haggle over my corpse?*
Suddenly, a speedboat roared up, and steel pellets whizzed toward us from air rifles.
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