After a long journey lasting six hours, I finally arrived in Xuzhou, my long-missed hometown. I remembered the last time I came back was just before last year’s Spring Festival; it had already been more than half a year since then.
Stepping out of the train station with my luggage, I was immediately dazzled by the afternoon sunlight and could barely open my eyes. The air smelled familiar, a unique scent that belonged only to Xuzhou.
In front of the train station square, I followed the crowd toward the rows of fruit stalls by the roadside. I opened my wallet and found only more than 100 yuan left, which represented all the material gains I had accumulated over more than two years in Suzhou.
I bought some fruit and two packs of cigarettes. The fruit was for my father and mother, while the cigarettes were naturally for myself.
Carrying the fruit, smoking a cigarette, and dragging my luggage, I walked toward the bus stop on the left side of the road with only 36 yuan remaining, which was all I could offer when facing my parents.
…
After a twenty-minute bumpy ride on the bus, I finally stood in front of my home. I raised my hand twice but couldn’t bring myself to press the doorbell, unsure how to face them and explain why I had come back.
“Zhaoyang?” a voice, uncertain whether it was really mine, suddenly rang in my ears.
I turned around and saw my mother standing there with a basket of vegetables. She must have gone to buy discounted groceries from the supermarket again.
I smiled and said, “Mom, your son is back.”
My mother smiled, opened the door, and asked me, “Why did you come back suddenly? Do you have a long holiday recently?”
Still using a deliberately casual tone, I replied, “Mom, this time I’m not going back to Suzhou. I’ll stay in Xuzhou from now on to accompany you two and fulfill my filial duty!”
My mother is a gentle person, but my words still made her frown. She put down the basket and asked, “You were working well there, right? Did you quit your job? Why can’t you settle down?”
“Mom, it’s not just about whether I can settle down. Besides, didn’t you and Dad always want me to come back to Xuzhou? Now I’m back; shouldn’t you be happy?”
“You coming back would definitely make your father and me happy if it had been two years earlier. But now you’re getting older, still without a girlfriend… How can we be happy?” My mother’s tone was clearly displeased.
“Mom, dear Mom, please don’t nag me. I came back precisely to settle down and find a decent job. This time I promise I’ll work hard, find a girlfriend, fall in love, and in a year or two, I’ll make sure you have a grandchild to hold. Won’t you and Dad be so happy then?”
My mother looked at me with mixed feelings of annoyance and amusement, and after a while, she said, “Still not serious at all. When your father comes back, let me see how you’ll explain it to him.”
Still smiling, I replied, “Maybe Dad will be so delighted that he’ll even take out his treasured aged wine to celebrate!”
“I doubt it!” My mother said as she picked up the basket and walked toward the kitchen, asking again, “Have you eaten yet? I’ll cook you a bowl of noodles.”
“No need. I’ll wait for Dad to come back and have dinner together. I can just eat some fruit for now.”
…
Before dusk, I had settled my luggage, made up the bed, and felt the familiar atmosphere of home. Gradually, I forgot the burdens in my heart, but I still worried about my future. After experiencing life’s setbacks, I was no longer as hopeful and expectant about the future as I used to be. More often than not, I felt anxious. For example, if my mother were to introduce me to a girl right now, I wouldn’t even have the money to treat her to a meal. In such a predicament, could I still dare to look forward to the future?
After a short nap, I heard the sound of the door opening, and my mother called out, “Zhaoyang, your father is back. Hurry up and get up for dinner.”
I responded and ran toward the living room in my slippers, and indeed saw my father holding a fishing rod and a fish basket.
I quickly took the fishing gear from my father’s hands and smiled, saying, “Dad, you caught quite a few fish today. Let Mom cook them quickly and make a dish to go with your wine.”
My father nodded, then asked suspiciously, “Why did you come back suddenly?”
“You can ask Mom.”
“Did your mother ask you to come back?”
“No, I already told Mom why I came back. You know, between us men, there’s a generation gap. You and Mom can communicate more easily.” I joked nervously. The real reason I didn’t want to tell my father directly was that I was afraid he would get angry. Although he looked dull, he was a man in his menopausal years with a real temper.
My father looked at my mother again. She succinctly said, “He quit his job and said he wants to stay in Xuzhou to accompany us two old folks.”
To my surprise, my father didn’t seem to care much about me quitting my job. He frowned and asked, “Didn’t you get along pretty well with that girl? What will happen to her if you come back to Xuzhou?”
My father suddenly mentioned Mi Cai, and I felt a strange mix of emotions again. But I comforted myself, thinking that maybe it was like the old saying goes: a blessing in disguise. Although I indirectly lost my job because of her, maybe this is a fresh start for me in Xuzhou, and I can gradually build a decent life here.
Rarely, I called my father “Dad” and said with a bitter smile, “Coming back to Xuzhou has nothing to do with her. We’re just normal friends. You visited Suzhou twice, and I emphasized it twice. How come you forgot again?”
My father was silent for a while and then said, “I just don’t understand you young people!”
I didn’t respond to my father’s words. To my surprise, he didn’t seem as upset as I had imagined about me quitting my job and returning to Xuzhou. This was understandable, after all, they were my parents, and how many parents wouldn’t wish for their child to stay close to them? So I could peacefully start my new life in Xuzhou.
…
During dinner, the whole family sat together, and my father even rarely brought out his cherished aged wine, pouring a glass for both himself and my mother.
I toasted my father and, still somewhat anxious, cautiously asked, “Dad, you won’t be upset that I quit my job and came back to Xuzhou, right?”
“No matter how good a job is, it’s useless if you can’t save any money. It’s the same whether you’re in Suzhou or Xuzhou.”
My father’s words made me feel a bit ashamed, so I quickly assured him earnestly, “Xuzhou is different from Suzhou. From now on, with you and Mom watching over me, I’ll definitely not spend a single penny recklessly, and I’ll hand over my monthly salary to you two elders for safekeeping.”
Neither my father nor my mother responded. I couldn’t tell whether they were skeptical about my future or dissatisfied with my past.
Without any embarrassment in front of my parents, I took the opportunity to say, “Dad, do you think you could help me find a job at your workplace?”
Putting down his chopsticks, my father looked at me without hesitation and said, “You have to figure out the job thing on your own.”
His stubbornness made me a bit uneasy, and I said, “Come on, you’re my real father! Can’t you at least think about it before answering me? After all, you are a deputy section chief. How about giving me a position in your section to manage documents? I promise to work hard and won’t disgrace you, old man! Isn’t that acceptable!”
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