On this deep autumn night, I chose to accommodate Mi Cai’s arrangement. Together, we drove back home to pick up the guitar, and then came to a square by a lake. This square would be very lively in summer, but now it was deep autumn, and few people came here for recreation after evening.
Mi Cai and I sat cross-legged on the lawn. The gentle streetlights shone on us, and the wind seemed to become soft and smooth after filtering through the light.
I tested the guitar tuning and asked Mi Cai, “Now comes the part where you request songs. Tell me, what song do you want to hear? I’ll try my best to satisfy you.”
“You can just choose randomly.”
I thought for a while and finally chose “Winter” by the band Haomeimei. I chose this song to warm up because I really liked its lyrics.
“When it gets colder, in a snowy winter, I passed by your door that year; we walked together on that street. Further back, in the hazy season of youth, your smile froze in the wind, like snow blinding my eyes. After how many years of time passing, flowers fall and people disperse, I wonder if those raindrops are your longing thoughts transformed. The moon sets, crows cry, frost covers the sky; once the sea turns into mulberry fields. Spring goes, autumn comes again. Back then, did you still miss me?”
I ended this song with a long, drawn-out note, indulging myself in it. Mi Cai clapped with a smile and approval. I smiled back, habitually lighting a cigarette after singing, and then handed the guitar to Mi Cai, asking, “Can you play? I feel like you can!”
Mi Cai showed me her hands, where she had acrylic nails.
“Does that mean you can play, but it’s inconvenient?” I asked.
“I learned a bit when I was studying abroad, out of boredom,” Mi Cai nodded.
“I think your temperament suits playing the piano better, while a woman like CC would be great with a guitar.”
“You seem to have a clear division of women’s temperaments.”
I exhaled smoke heavily and laughed, “The only pleasure left in my life is studying women… sigh! Otherwise, how could I endure the cycle of seasons again and again?”
Mi Cai smiled, somewhat agreeing with my words. I crushed the cigarette butt and lay on my back on the lawn, looking at the stars. The autumn wind made me feel slightly drowsy, maybe not because of the wind itself, but because the night was too quiet.
Mi Cai’s subtle fragrance drifted into my nose with the breeze. I felt peaceful and comfortable, gradually closing my eyes, dozing off.
After a while, Mi Cai finally nudged me and said, “Zhaoyang, can you sing ‘The Words of Love’ for me again?”
I sat up and looked at her, recalling that not long ago I had played this song in her car, and she had cried. I realized there must be a story behind this song that she could never forget.
I was afraid she would cry again, so I asked, “Are you sure you want to listen?”
Mi Cai nodded firmly.
“Okay, but after this, you have to tell me the story between you and this song. Last time…”
Mi Cai interrupted me, saying, “Just sing.”
I didn’t get a definite answer from Mi Cai, but I couldn’t force her. As long as she wanted to listen now, I would sing for her. Everything should take its natural course, letting this autumn night remain simple.
I strummed the guitar again, singing this song representing great love in the lowest voice.
Just when I reached the line, “Love is something no one can understand, love is an eternal melody, love is the process of laughter and tears, love was once me and you…” Mi Cai’s tears had already fallen. Her face was filled with heartfelt sorrow.
I didn’t stop singing because of this. I knew Mi Cai definitely wouldn’t want me to stop, because this song contained her memories. Interrupting those memories would be cruel for her at this moment.
I slowly finished this slow-paced song, and Mi Cai had already cried like a weeping willow. In my impression, she was a strong woman who never easily cried, but this song touched the softest place deep in her heart.
The quiet night, the blowing wind, and the crying woman made me, as a man, feel compassion. I gently pulled Mi Cai into my arms, stroking her hair and wiping away her tears.
Mi Cai didn’t struggle. She leaned on me for a long time, sobbing as she said, “Do you know… this was my father’s favorite song when he was alive… When I was fifteen, he took me to a Lo Ta-yu concert in Nanjing. That day the venue was very noisy and chaotic, but when this song was sung, the entire audience fell silent. My father softly told me: he would always love me, and I was the one he loved most in his life, but… he didn’t keep his promise. He was a liar… but I really miss him… he must be so lonely in that other world!”
Mi Cai couldn’t speak anymore through her sobs. She tightly clung to me like a girl lacking security. At this moment, I finally understood why she hated people who didn’t keep their promises so much. Because her father, Mi Zhongxin, couldn’t keep the promise of loving her forever. But life is so unpredictable; a great promise of love was destroyed in a car accident… However, I believe that if there really is another world, Mi Zhongxin will definitely keep his promise, loving his daughter Mi Cai forever.
A gentle breeze blew past me, leaving me momentarily at a loss. I didn’t know how to comfort her. After a while, I finally said solemnly, “Don’t cry anymore… Not long from now, there will definitely be a man who will take your father’s place to love you and protect you, and his love will last longer, forever without an end.”
Mi Cai didn’t respond to my comfort but leaned even closer to me. I couldn’t help but look into the distance and ask myself: Does a river of happiness really exist in this world? If it does, I would willingly take this woman’s hand and jump into that river, even if I had to struggle until exhausted, I would pull her to the end of the river.
…
The night grew deeper. The fresh breeze passed by us under the moonlight. Mi Cai finally left my embrace. She tidied her damp hair with tears, gazing at the distant darkness without streetlights. Her expression no longer showed weakness. After a while, she turned to look at me and said, “Zhaoyang, I hope you will return to Suzhou, but I won’t force you. If you can’t find a suitable job in Xuzhou and feel that Suzhou suits you better for development, come find me, and I will help you arrange it.”
I put the guitar into its case, jokingly asking, “If I return to Suzhou, will you let me have that house?”
Mi Cai hesitated for a moment, then said, “If you’re willing to go back, I can give it to you.”
I smiled, slung the guitar on my back, and softly said to Mi Cai, “Okay, let’s go. Let me drive you back to the hotel… By the way, are you really staying in Xuzhou for a few more days? I can show you around some scenic spots here.”
“No, I’ve already said what I needed to say and done what I needed to do. The rest is your choice. I will return to Suzhou tomorrow morning.”
I wasn’t surprised by Mi Cai’s hasty departure. After all, she needed to manage a huge group like Zhuo Mei, even if she had only stayed in Xuzhou for a day and a half, which for her, who was always busy, was already quite enough. I just hoped that after returning, she could quickly resolve the internal conflicts within Zhuo Mei, so she could feel more at ease and secure.
As we walked side by side toward the car, I said to her, “What time are you leaving tomorrow morning? Let me see you off.”
“Seven o’clock, but you don’t need to. I drove here myself, so it’s very convenient.”
“Still, you came to Xuzhou looking for me, so I should see you off.”
“Then it’s up to you.”
I nodded, and as we walked and talked, the night seemed to grow even darker.
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