During the meal, Leyao’s emotions remained unstable. I knew she must have been anxious, uncertain until I gave her a definite answer. After all, she was just a woman, and unlike Jianwei and Mi Cai, she was someone who relied heavily on others. Outwardly cheerful and carefree, she was actually the least secure.
Finally, the dinner ended with both of us mostly silent. I then helped Leyao book a room in a hotel near the train station.
Before I left, Leyao grabbed my arm and asked, “Zhaoyang, when will you give me an answer?”
“Soon,” I replied briefly. I needed to make a decision quickly because Leyao couldn’t wait much longer.
Leyao released my arm and nodded, saying, “Then I’ll wait in Xuzhou for you to decide.”
“Okay… rest well. Call me if anything comes up. I’m leaving now.” With that, I walked away under Leyao’s hopeful gaze.
…
I sat on a bench on the city street bathed in the glow of night lights, holding a beer, watching the traffic pass by with a sense of confusion. My confusion stemmed from the dilemma I faced. If I gave up my job in Xuzhou for Leyao and went back to Suzhou, how would I explain it to Li Xiaoyun? Or would explanations even matter?
If I didn’t go back to Suzhou, it meant I would watch helplessly as Leyao fell into despair. I couldn’t bear it. Thinking of how she had endured the humiliation of being slapped by another actress just to help me get a job opportunity made my heart ache. This pain was unbearable, and only by agreeing to Leyao’s request could I escape this torment.
Caught in this painful dilemma, I felt helpless and lost… until my phone rang, accompanied by a cold breeze, snapping me out of my daze.
With effort, I pulled the phone from my pocket and saw it was a call from Li Xiaoyun. I suddenly remembered I had promised to have dinner with her, and it was already 9:30 PM.
I answered the call with a complicated mood but stayed silent, waiting for Xiaoyun to speak first.
“Zhaoyang, have you picked up your friend yet?”
I replied apologetically, “Yeah, I just had dinner with her…”
Li Xiaoyun responded in a low tone, “That makes sense.”
“Have you eaten yet?”
“…Not yet, I’ve been waiting for you,” Li Xiaoyun said after a pause.
“Then I’ll come find you now. Let me take you out to eat.”
“Okay.”
“You like Western food, right? Let me treat you to grilled steak at Fizz.”
Li Xiaoyun finally smiled and said, “You’ve already eaten, so no need to spend so much. Just something simple will do.” Then she added, “Let’s have rice noodles. I haven’t had them in a long time.”
“Alright…” I agreed absentmindedly. The word “rice noodles” brought me back to the memory of eating them with Mi Cai in Suzhou, but the thought vanished quickly, leaving me with a subtle feeling. This feeling made me think of CC, Roben, Fangyuan, Yanyan, and Mi Cai, and the restaurant “Kong Cheng.” All these people and things were connected to Suzhou, representing a kind of beauty that I missed. This sense of nostalgia made me unexpectedly reminisce about my past life in Suzhou.
I had clearly hated everything about Suzhou, so why did I miss it now? What had caused this change in my mindset? I didn’t understand. Often, people don’t really know themselves that well.
…
Twenty minutes later, I met Li Xiaoyun at a rice noodle shop. She ordered a bowl of rice noodles, while I sat across from her, keeping her company as she ate.
Xiaoyun wasn’t eating quickly. Looking at my continued silence, she asked, “What did your friend come to see you for?”
I hesitated for a moment before answering. After a long pause, I finally said, “She needed some help from me.”
Li Xiaoyun smiled slightly and said, “It must be something pretty big.”
“How do you know?”
“If it wasn’t a big deal, she wouldn’t have come all the way to Xuzhou just to find you… Anyway, this is your personal matter with your friend. I won’t ask.”
I looked at Li Xiaoyun and felt a pang of bitterness. In fact, she was truly a graceful and wonderful woman, and I had deep feelings for her. Therefore, leaving Xuzhou was difficult for me. Moreover, we were already engaged. If I really quit my job and returned to Suzhou, it would undoubtedly be a fatal blow to our relationship.
I nodded and fell silent again, the inner conflict becoming even more intense.
Finally, just as Xiaoyun was nearly finished eating, I took a deep breath and, with a heavy expression, said to her, “Xiaoyun, there’s something I want to discuss with you…”
Li Xiaoyun looked puzzled for a moment before saying, “Go ahead.”
“…My friend’s music bar is having some problems. I might have to go to Suzhou for a while to help out.” I finally said after a long silence.
Li Xiaoyun instinctively frowned and asked, “If you go to Suzhou, what about your job?”
Another heavy silence followed before I quietly replied, “I’ll have to quit. I know this is sudden…”
Before I could finish, Li Xiaoyun interrupted angrily, “If you know it’s sudden, how could you make such a decision… Do you even remember how many sleepless nights you spent trying to establish yourself at Osen Advertising, and how much effort you’ve put in?”
“I have no choice. I hope you can support my decision.”
Li Xiaoyun laughed bitterly and asked, “Then what about our relationship? And how long will you be staying in Suzhou?”
“I don’t know how long I’ll be there. If you’re willing, you can wait for me to come back…”
“Wait for you to come back, find another job, and then let me try to rebuild our relationship again?… Sorry, I can’t do that.”
“Xiaoyun, can’t you be less extreme? My friend’s bar has invested over a million yuan and borrowed a large amount of high-interest loans. The business is in serious trouble. Can you really expect me to stand by and do nothing?”
Li Xiaoyun nodded heavily and said, “Zhaoyang, what I admire most about you is your honesty. Can you honestly answer a few questions for me?”
“Of course.” I replied almost without hesitation.
“Is your friend a man or a woman?”
That first question caught me off guard. After a pause, I finally answered quietly, “She’s a woman.”
After I spoke, Li Xiaoyun’s expression immediately turned sour. After a long silence, she asked again, “What exactly is your relationship with her?”
“Friends.”
“Friends? Is an ordinary friend worth giving up your promising career and even our relationship?”
Feeling upset inside, I still gritted my teeth and said, “I have to help… because I owe her.”
“Fine, if you insist on doing this, I won’t try to stop you—I know I can’t. But I still hope you’ll go home and ask your parents what they think. Let’s see if they agree with your decision.” With that, Li Xiaoyun picked up her handbag and left in anger.
Suddenly, there was an emptiness across from me. Looking at the bowl of rice noodles that Xiaoyun hadn’t finished, I once again felt the painful sensation of being torn apart by fate.
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage