After I proposed going to the toy store to buy a 100,000 RPM motor, Mi Cai looked at me somewhat perplexed and asked, “Is it really necessary to do this?”
“Do you think it’s childish that I’m taking on a little kid like this?”
Mi Cai was silent for a while before answering, “It’s not childish. On the contrary, I think this behavior is a cover for despair toward life.”
Her words stunned me, and I couldn’t help but recall when I had started becoming so bored with life. Even today, I still remember clearly that day after breaking up with Jian Wei, I had insomnia on the verge of breakdown, and then I used the money I won from the lottery to buy this remote-controlled car online. Since then, I kept buying more toys endlessly. Thinking back, I must have been desperate then. Perhaps Mi Cai was right—all the childishness and boredom were merely to mask our desperation.
Touched on a nerve, I instinctively lit a cigarette, took a deep puff, and then asked Mi Cai, “Why do you think that way?”
After a long silence, Mi Cai answered me with a gloomy expression, “Because I’ve experienced that kind of desperation before, so later I learned to play the guitar and learned to entertain myself!”
In this moment, not only myself, but I seemed to hear the sound of Mi Cai’s wounds tearing open as well. However, our desperation was different: mine stemmed from breaking up with Jian Wei, while hers came from the death of Mi Zhongxin. Yet both kinds of desperation hurt just as much, so we lived in the caves we had created ourselves, soothing our wounds in another way…
Finally, I said to Mi Cai, “So, tonight you’ll accompany my boredom and childishness, right?”
Mi Cai smiled wistfully and said, “Come on, let’s go buy that 100,000 RPM motor. I wish you victory tomorrow.”
…
After buying all the materials needed for modification at the toy store, Mi Cai and I returned to that old house, and I immediately immersed myself in the complicated modification work.
To win tomorrow’s race decisively, I reduced the car’s weight by removing the crash bar, upgraded the battery compartment, and installed smoother tires…
As I busied myself with these tasks, the sky gradually darkened. Mi Cai, without my noticing, had prepared two bowls of instant noodles and brought them over, saying to me who was fully absorbed in the modification, “Eat something first, then continue later.”
Finally looking up at her, I smiled and asked, “You’re doing a great job as logistics support. If I beat the little fat kid tomorrow, I’ll give you credit and share a big chicken leg with you.”
“Don’t be too complacent. If the little fat kid also modifies his car and installs a high-speed motor after going home, you still won’t win!”
I scoffed disdainfully, “Come on, don’t joke. Modification isn’t something everyone can do, and besides, there’s no sign that his car has been modified. Conclusion: the little fat kid doesn’t know how to modify cars.”
Mi Cai smiled and said, “Okay then, I’ll continue to have full confidence in you.”
I nodded and took the instant noodles from Mi Cai’s hands. We sat cross-legged on the floor eating, and at that moment, we seemed like two innocent children living a simple yet fun life, temporarily free from the struggles of the mundane world. But I knew this carefree state wouldn’t last forever. After this night, we would still fall back into the whirlpool of survival and pain.
While eating the noodles, Mi Cai suddenly said to me, “Zhaoyang, can you give me a remote-controlled racing car?”
“What kind do you want? But I have to say, I can’t afford anything too expensive.”
Mi Cai thought for a moment and said, “They’re sold online, right? Let’s go online and take a look.”
I nodded, stood up, and turned on the computer. So Mi Cai and I sat by the computer desk, eating while browsing online.
I was only willing to give Mi Cai a car worth around 300 yuan, but she had her eyes on an oil-powered four-wheel drive racing car that cost as much as 4,000 yuan. This price far exceeded what I could afford, so I tried to persuade her, saying, “You’re a beginner, and this kind of oil-powered racing car is very hard to control. Can’t you start with something simpler?”
Mi Cai shook her head and said, “I just like conquering challenges.”
“Then buy it yourself… You’re so rich!”
“But I want you to give it to me.”
“Don’t push me too hard, okay? I really don’t have the money…”
Mi Cai then looked disappointed and said to me, “If you don’t want to, it’s okay.”
“You’re misunderstanding me. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I really can’t afford it!”
Seeing my embarrassment, Mi Cai smiled and said, “Why are you taking it so seriously? I was just kidding.” After a moment’s thought, she changed the subject and said to me, “What do you think about combining traditional department stores’ physical sales with online sales? How feasible is that?”
“Why did you suddenly have this idea? Was it inspired by our online shopping just now?”
Mi Cai nodded and said, “I want to hear your opinion.”
“It’s difficult because there’s too much to integrate. After all, there’s a big difference between physical sales and online sales platforms. Moreover, online sales have already been monopolized by several e-commerce giants. Without substantial funds and human resources, it’s impossible to compete with them…”
Mi Cai nodded again and said nothing more. Clearly, she had already considered the same things I had. However, this train of thought made me realize that the current confusion in Zhuo Mei’s business planning reflected, to some extent, a lack of alignment in business philosophy between Mi Cai and Mi Zhongde. Mi Cai’s interest in online sales platforms further demonstrated her eagerness to break free from Mi Zhongde’s control, and it seemed likely that she would soon come into serious conflict with him.
…
When I finally finished modifying the car, the night had grown deep and dark. Mi Cai had already fallen asleep on my bed. I gently covered her with a quilt and sat by the bed, examining the remote-controlled car I had painstakingly modified.
As I looked at it, I couldn’t help but smile. Perhaps Mi Cai would never know that the reason I insisted on competing with that little fat kid wasn’t because I was still childish. Because of my promise with the little fat kid, tomorrow I would have a legitimate reason to spend another day with her.
You know, recently I had always been troubled about finding a suitable reason to invite her out. Many of the reasons I came up with seemed to suggest I had ulterior motives, and I was afraid that she would sense this and start keeping her distance from me.
Now everything was settled! With this reason, I could finally feel at ease taking her out to play and go crazy…
I sat back at the computer desk, opened the webpage, and started looking at the oil-powered racing car Mi Cai hoped I would give her. Then I took out my wallet from my pocket and counted—I had only about 3,000 yuan left.
Of course, I wouldn’t use the bar’s funds to buy her a racing car, but I really wanted to give this racing car to her. So I comforted myself, thinking there must be another way.
Thinking about the surprise on her face when she received the racing car, I smiled genuinely from my heart. Maybe this was exactly what it meant to be in a secret love—”Your happiness brings me happiness”?
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