Jian Wei’s expression gradually turned painful. She looked at me for a long time and finally retorted, “Look down on you? … If I looked down on you, would I have fallen out with my family, moved from Shanghai to Suzhou to live with you, eating instant noodles and fried rice every day, wearing cheap clothes bought online? Of course, that wasn’t much, because I willingly did all of it, even finding joy in sharing hardships like that!”
I felt suffocated, as if time had been ignored, returning me to those days three years ago when we were together…
Back then, we hugged a hot water bottle to keep warm in winter, enjoyed watching TV while sharing a box of potato chips. Yes, I was so poor back then, couldn’t afford an apartment with air conditioning or spare money to take her to a movie, but she still stayed with me, moved to tears while listening to me play guitar and sing “Runaway Love.”
I tried hard to control my emotions. After a while, I said to Jian Wei beside me, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you that… But why did you break up with me?”
Jian Wei looked somewhat dazed. After a long pause, she choked up and said, “We both made mistakes, but mine were particularly absurd, so wrong that we had to break up…”
“What mistakes?” I asked anxiously, fearing misunderstandings between us.
Jian Wei shook her head and said, “Don’t ask anymore. We’ve been broken up for three years, and all the truth has become meaningless with the passage of time. If you really want to know, it will only make us feel the pain of the past even more.”
“I’m not afraid of pain; I want the truth…” I said through clenched teeth.
“Why didn’t you want it three years ago? … Now I’m already with Xiang Chen, and maybe we’ll get married soon. Do you still think it’s necessary?”
“I…” I suddenly couldn’t speak. My reason told me that Jian Wei was right. For us now, the truth would bring nothing but pain.
In silence, the cold wind blew the river’s surface, causing the neon lights’ reflections to tremble restlessly. My mood became anxious along with these irregular ripples.
Finally, Jian Wei softly said to me, “Because the world is so dirty, we seek the most beautiful wish… Zhaoyang, I will silently bless you always, until you find that most beautiful wish!”
I couldn’t understand what Jian Wei was trying to convey. Wanting to ask more, she had already risen and left, leaving me only the most resolute back view, as if telling me that everything of the past would eventually be drowned in the memories of time, not worth further investigation.
But what exactly was the most beautiful wish I was supposed to pursue? Was it that city in the sky, and the beautiful woman with long hair reaching her shoulders in that city?
I couldn’t confirm the answer. Yet the night suddenly turned pitch black. I should go back, because only in the absence of dawn could I see my most sincere dream, and my dream certainly wasn’t in this moat filled with illusions.
…
Returning to my place, I uneasily opened the door and was surprised to find an extra pair of women’s winter boots on the shoe rack. Then I saw Mi Cai sitting on the sofa reading some documents. Suddenly, I remembered the unpleasant scene in CC’s restaurant a few hours ago—had she come here to confront me?
I approached Mi Cai and asked hesitantly, “How come you’re here?”
“It’s my house, can’t I come?”
“You didn’t rent it to me?”
“I did rent it to you, but have you paid me the rent?”
“You said last time not to pay, just buy some potted plants for the house. Are you going back on your word now?”
Mi Cai looked around coolly and said, “Then where are your potted plants?”
“I haven’t had time to buy them yet, but I definitely will.”
“No time? Seems like you’re pretty free, even found time to race cars.”
I finally realized Mi Cai had come here just because of Wei Ran. I became annoyed and said, “If I like racing cars and don’t want to buy potted plants, so what?”
“So you’re just a despicable, unrefined, and untrustworthy person, someone who will never change.”
Mi Cai’s sarcasm made me even more frustrated. I stared at her for a while and angrily said, “Fine, I’m a rogue, I have no refinement, and your friend is the perfect gentleman, right?”
“Why do you always compare yourself with him?”
Yeah! Why did I always compare myself with him? I felt a bit uneasy and said, “You mind my comparing myself with others? Tell me why you’re here.”
“I let Wei Ran stay at my place, so where else could I go?”
Mi Cai’s answer startled me. Did this mean she didn’t mind living with me, but she did mind living with Wei Ran?
Immediately, I asked, “So you don’t mind living with me at all, right?”
“I do mind, so tonight you’re going to stay in a hotel, for these few days you have to.”
I felt both ashamed and angry at my own misunderstanding, then took several steps toward Mi Cai, almost touching her face, and said angrily, “Why? Why don’t you let your so-called friend stay in a hotel? I’m telling you, I’m not going anywhere.”
“You…” Mi Cai was too angry to speak.
The battle situation instantly turned. Confidently, I said, “Don’t struggle pointlessly. Every matter should be based on reason. You’ve already rented the house to me, so now you have no right to use it. As for the potted plants, you didn’t specify a deadline for buying them either, so I can buy them tomorrow. Therefore, whether you can stay here tonight still requires my permission.”
“Are you going to make me sleep on the street?”
I smiled and said, “You won’t end up on the street. You’re so rich that even if you leave here, you’ll stay at a five-star hotel. But I’m different. If you really kick me out, I’ll either stay at a cheap hostel or really end up on the street.”
Mi Cai’s tone finally softened a bit, “Don’t make yourself sound so pitiful.”
“Pitiful isn’t something you say or pretend. Since we met, do you not know how I’ve lived?”
Mi Cai fell silent, as if recalling how poor and hard my life had been since we met. After a while, she finally said to me, “Then I’ll go stay at a hotel.” She picked up her handbag from the sofa and stood up.
I grabbed the handbag from her hand and put it back on the sofa, “It’s already so late. Don’t bother anymore, okay? Besides, we’ve lived together before. Go wash up and sleep. Don’t you have to go to Shanghai tomorrow?”
“How do you know I’m going to Shanghai tomorrow?”
“You told me this morning. Go to sleep quickly. I’ll make you breakfast tomorrow morning. Isn’t that better than staying at a hotel?”
Mi Cai looked at me and obediently nodded. Then she went to her room to change clothes and headed to the bathroom to wash up.
But I felt tired from this night. Sitting on the sofa, I lit a cigarette to relieve my exhaustion, already forgetting that Mi Cai was still in the house. If she saw me smoking in the living room now, she would scold me again!
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