After a brief moment of contemplation, Jian Wei said to us, “Let’s sing ‘Close To You.'”
After Jian Wei mentioned this song, I looked at Roben. This English song, with its jazz and blues style, would be a real test of piano skills.
Roben smiled and said to me, “Piece of cake.”
Only then did I feel relieved. I hoped this song could be performed perfectly because it was Jian Wei’s favorite. I remember one year on my birthday, she specially went to a recording studio to record this song for me. I kept it on my phone until that phone was thrown into the moat on the day Yan Yan and Fangyuan got married when I was drunk, and the song was lost forever beneath the river.
I suppose these coincidences together are what people call destiny.
I took a deep breath, gave Roben a signal, and we started playing our instruments simultaneously. Jian Wei’s graceful body swayed gently along with the lazy rhythm.
Roben’s piano skills were excellent, and Jian Wei’s voice was rich and sultry. Her fluent English perfectly brought the jazz and blues song to life. Even I, playing the guitar, was immersed in the performance, feeling unusually relaxed—until she reached the final part of the song.
“On the day you were born, the angels gathered and decided to make dreams come true. So they sprinkled golden moonlight in your hair and stardust in your blue eyes. That’s why all the girls in town follow you, just like me. They long to be close to you, just like me, they long to be close to you, close to you, close to you…”
Suddenly, I felt suffocated. How much she used to care for me, and how much I cared for her. When she sent me that recording of the song, I listened to it on loop all day. Even during those dark nights after our breakup, I didn’t fear the torment of missing her. I smoked cigarette after cigarette, listening over and over until my lungs and heart ached.
In that moment of suffocation, I hit a wrong note, leaving a flaw in what should have been a perfect song. But the audience didn’t mind. In fact, many of them took out their phones to capture the moment Jian Wei sang this song. She was so beautiful, her voice even more so, and the impact of her performance rivaled that of Mi Cai’s earlier.
The audience began whispering again, naturally curious about the background of this bar—why so many beautiful women were performing here. After all, both Jian Wei and Mi Cai were no less impressive than so-called celebrities. For example, Yue Yao, who worked in the entertainment industry, would barely be considered their equal, let alone claim to be more beautiful.
But I couldn’t focus on that. I was still frustrated by the wrong note I had played at the end. I even wanted Roben and Jian Wei to restart the song with me, but I knew that was impossible. That wrong note was like our love—although it had a beautiful beginning and process, it ended in a disappointing conclusion that could negate everything. We were destined not to start over again. Therefore, that wrong note felt more like a summary, a conclusion to that unforgettable love.
After the song ended, I excused myself to go to the restroom and retreated inside to smoke, trying to calm my emotions. At that moment, I felt some resentment toward those accidentally stirred-up memories, and even more resentment toward myself. Why was I still distracted and upset by nostalgia, when Jian Wei had already started a new relationship?
Did I still love her?
No, I didn’t. I only loved the happiness and ease we had once shared.
As I was nearly finishing my cigarette, Roben also came into the restroom. While urinating, he said, “Hey, can you smell nostalgia in this restroom?” Then he shook his body and didn’t finish the next sentence.
I immediately replied, “Your words are just like your piss.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“It’s not complete…”
“Damn it, you really know how to insult someone!”
I didn’t respond. I took out another cigarette and lit it. Roben washed his hands and came over, taking a cigarette from my pack and lighting it as well. He inhaled deeply and exhaled heavily before saying, “You shouldn’t have hit that wrong note just now.”
I understood what Roben meant. I inhaled deeply before replying, “It’s done now. Let’s call it a kind of imperfect beauty.”
Roben fell into thought. After a long silence, he sighed and said, “Actually, I can understand you. This song talks about being close to you, but the distance between two people grows wider and wider. Just like me, this time returning to Beijing, even though I’m physically close to her, I still didn’t dare to ask about her news. Our distance hasn’t shortened at all because of the geographical proximity.”
I nodded. I knew that Roben and I were in the same boat—we both couldn’t forget the past. Those who couldn’t understand us simply hadn’t seen the depth of our past experiences.
I thought that at this moment, the fact that Roben and I could reminisce about the past without bias or intention was already a rare kind of resolution.
But these unexpected waves of nostalgia were hard to resist, like the performance of “Close To You” just now.
After finishing our cigarettes, Roben and I returned to the event venue together. At that moment, Xiao Hai Gui was singing, which explained why Roben had taken a break to go to the restroom.
But we had to admit that he was indeed very talented. Right now, he was playing the keyboard and singing simultaneously, and his performance was even comparable to Roben, a professional musician. No wonder many young girls were gazing at him like star-struck fans. After all, he looked a bit like Wang Leehom with his clean-cut, pretty-boy face, and his eyes always seemed deep and emotional.
Mi Cai was accompanying him on guitar. The two of them worked well together, exchanging meaningful glances from time to time. This charming couple attracted more and more onlookers, and soon someone shouted out, “Get together!”
Then a group of similarly bored people followed suit, echoing the shout.
I just stood there quietly watching. I thought they were quite well-matched—not only were they both good-looking, but they were also well-matched in terms of background. If they ended up together, it would truly be a match made in heaven.
Standing beside me, Roben nudged me and said, “Zhaoyang, seeing them like this, maybe they’re about to hold hands!”
“One plays guitar, one plays piano—how can they hold hands?”
Just as I finished speaking, Wei Ran left the piano and walked toward Mi Cai. Indeed, the crowd’s cheering had given him the courage.
My heart raced as I thought, “Could he be planning to confess again?”
But it turned out I was overthinking. Xiao Hai Gui simply extended his hand toward Mi Cai, and she smiled, stopped playing the guitar, and took his hand. Then Xiao Hai Gui continued singing without accompaniment, which still earned enthusiastic applause from the audience.
Seeing this, Roben said to me again, “Zhaoyang, aren’t you dying to say something like ‘back off and let me have her’ right now?”
I calmly replied, “It’s just a customary gesture of holding hands during a duet. What’s the big deal? Do you really need to say something like ‘back off and let me have her’?”
Roben sighed but smiled and said, “Actually, I’m kind of envious of you. At least you’ve already developed the desire to like another woman. I don’t know how much longer I’ll have to endure.”
After a while, I also sighed and replied, “Maybe your feelings are even more profound… but one day, you’ll fall for another girl too.” I paused and added, “I hope that girl will be CC.”
Roben glanced toward CC in the distance but didn’t say anything. Perhaps at that moment, his thoughts were still with that girl from Beijing. Sometimes I really felt curious and hoped to meet that girl from Beijing one day, to see what special magic she possessed that made Roben, a man with such a rebellious spirit, miss her so much for so many years.
While I was briefly lost in thought, Xiao Hai Gui and Mi Cai had already finished their performance. Yan Yan, acting as the host, approached me with a microphone and said, “Zhaoyang, it’s your turn now. Quickly prepare your song and choose a girl here to perform with you. I’m sure they won’t refuse on such a happy occasion!”
I snapped back to reality and immediately decided what song to sing, but I was suddenly torn—thinking to myself, “All these girls are so beautiful that it’s hard to choose. Who should I perform with?”
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