After a moment of contemplation, I decided to use the same lie I had once told Jian Wei to deceive Mi Cai: “That guitar was taken to Beijing by CC; Luoben needs it.”
“Really?”
I panicked again, because Mi Cai was not Jian Wei. She hated being deceived and might really call CC to verify the story.
But being a man with strong psychological resilience, I quickly concealed my nervousness, smiled, and said, “Yes, if you don’t believe me, you can call CC right now to confirm it.”
“But why didn’t you say so just now?”
“It’s not too late to say it now. I’ve already told you everything. If you don’t believe me, just call CC.”
“Forget it, it’s already so late. I don’t want to disturb her and Luoben.”
I immediately felt relieved and then said to her, “Well then, go back and get the guitar. Let’s try to practice these two songs thoroughly tonight.”
“Okay.”
…
In the old house, Mi Cai held the guitar and sat on a chair while I sat on the sofa across from her, holding the song chart so she could practice.
As her singing echoed through the room, I became lost in thought, recalling again the original singer of these two songs, Junzi. A sense of regret filled my heart. She was a female singer I really liked. She sang “Autumn Begins” with such a melancholic fairy-tale quality that it deeply moved me for a long time. Yet such a talented singer eventually chose to end her life by suicide.
Suddenly, Mi Cai stopped singing and asked me, “Zhaoyang, why do you look so distracted? Is it because my emotional expression was wrong?”
“No, it’s not your fault. I was just thinking about the original singer of these two songs. I listened to her album ‘Four Seasons’ on loop for a long time.”
“Four Seasons? Could that be where you got the inspiration for ‘The Fifth Season’?”
“It had some influence. I really liked the imagery in the lyrics back then… Anyway, this singer committed suicide.”
“What? Why would she commit suicide?”
“Probably because of emotional issues. I’m not sure, and it doesn’t matter anymore… Ah! Is life really so hard that suicide becomes the only way to find relief?”
Suddenly feeling sad, I sighed.
Mi Cai didn’t speak but her eyes revealed sorrow, stemming from the pain she had once experienced in life.
After a long silence, she asked me, “Zhaoyang, why do you think there’s so much separation and death in life?”
“Fate. No one can escape fate. Eventually, one day, we will all leave this world too.”
“Life is bitter and short, so every day we’re alive, we should make ourselves happy.”
“Yes, but happiness is easier said than done. Humans are creatures filled with desires, and as long as there are desires, there will always be suffering.”
“Then where do these desires come from?”
“It’s human nature. If one day you suddenly have no more desires for this world, you won’t be attached to life anymore. It seems like a paradox, but it’s the truth—we suffer because of our desires, yet we live because of them too.”
Mi Cai fell into deep thought. After a while, she smiled and said, “Zhaoyang, you see things quite profoundly. You’re not at all like how you were when we first met.”
“Were I that bad back then?”
Mi Cai didn’t answer directly but spoke with a nostalgic expression: “You’ve given me many different feelings, hard to describe. But you’ve become increasingly real to me.”
“You’ve given me many different feelings too, yet you’ve become more and more illusory. Why… why are you such a perfect woman? Perfect to the point of being unreal!”
Under the influence of the specific atmosphere, I expressed my long-held feelings for Mi Cai and quietly watched her, waiting to see what she would say.
“The so-called perfection is only in your eyes. I also cry alone at night under the covers when I feel helpless…”
“Even your tears are a beautiful fairy tale!”
Mi Cai looked at me somewhat speechlessly: “Zhaoyang, you’re so cheesy.”
“Just expressing my feelings! You’re so fair-skinned, like Snow White!” I replied illogically.
Mi Cai: “…”
“I mean, why are you so beautiful? Every time we’re together, whether people know us or not, they always say how stunningly beautiful you are. I’m just a green leaf by your side, maybe not even that!”
“You’re being so superficial right now…” Mi Cai finally sighed impatiently.
“Superficial be it. Who asked you to be so fair and beautiful? You’re the most beautiful woman in Suzhou!”
“I can’t stand you anymore… Can we practice singing now? Let me do justice to the female singer you like tomorrow night!”
I finally turned serious and said, “Her name is Junzi, a singer who could turn songs into fairy tales.”
“Okay, I remember. Her name is Junzi.”
That night, we practiced until late, but I didn’t feel tired at all. It felt as though I were traveling through the changing seasons with Mi Cai’s singing. Her interpretations of these two songs were also very evocative, yet distinct from Junzi’s. I believed that tomorrow night she would surely bring many surprises to the audience.
It was already past one in the morning. I made Mi Cai a cup of hot tea with Platycodon grandiflorum and honey to soothe her throat.
After taking a sip, she said to me, “I realize you’re actually quite considerate. You treat me very well.”
“Really think so?”
“Yes.”
I pretended to ask cautiously, “Then, according to what you said earlier, does it mean you’re willing to be my wife and have a baby with me?”
Even though I had often spoken shamelessly and recklessly before, Mi Cai had always remained calm. But this time, she suddenly blushed, avoided my gaze, and remained silent for a long time.
“Come on, tell me, will you be my wife and have a baby with me?”
“No.”
Mi Cai’s answer didn’t make me feel disheartened because my question had mostly been in jest, and I hadn’t really expected her to say yes. Still, I smiled and asked, “Why not?”
“Because you’re sometimes nice to me and sometimes not. Who knows what day you might suddenly turn bad after I’ve given birth to your child?”
Even though I knew Mi Cai’s words were mostly playful too, they still stirred an unusual feeling within me. Especially that sentence, “Who knows what day I might give birth to your child,” seemed to really conjure an image in my mind of her giving birth to my child one day.
I thought: If that day really came, I would definitely be the happiest man in the world, no longer troubled by any desires, because she would have given me everything I ever wanted.
…
The next day, Mi Cai and I arrived at the bar in the afternoon, where the waiters and waitresses were already fully prepared. According to statistics, as many as 168 customers had come to spend New Year’s Eve at The Fifth Season tonight, promising a very lively evening.
Around five in the afternoon, Xiao Wu also arrived at the bar with several members of the band. Without even catching their breath, they immediately got involved in the tense process of equipment testing.
I took a break and called Xiao Wu over, asking him, “Tonight, everything’s under control with AJ, right?”
Xiao Wu replied confidently, “Rest assured completely. He’s probably already on his way by now!”
I nodded. Suddenly, Xiao Wu patted my shoulder and said, “Zhaoyang, look behind you—is that your ex-girlfriend?”
Instinctively, I turned my head and was taken aback. Walking toward me was indeed Jian Wei. She had kept her promise and come to help out on this New Year’s Eve.
Jian Wei stood right in front of me. To match the festive atmosphere, she wore a set of red traditional Chinese attire, looking very appropriate and beautiful.
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage