After thinking for a long time, I sent a WeChat message to Mi Cai: “What are your thoughts on marriage?”
I put the phone aside, took a puff of my cigarette, and then said to Luo Ben, “Marriage feels too distant for me until my life stabilizes.”
Luo Ben nodded and replied, “I hadn’t thought about it either, but this time when I returned to Beijing and saw my father and mother, I suddenly realized how old they’ve become. I can’t describe the feeling—it’s like I should be at the age where I can give back to them, yet I’ve never truly done so.”
After finishing his words, Luo Ben tilted his head back and exhaled a heavy puff of smoke. Within the swirling smoke, I could sense his guilt and regret.
I realized that Luo Ben’s compromise made sense because, in the end, we cannot resist the pressure of time. Love remains elusive, and eventually, when we grow weary, we no longer wish to chase after that original love we once dreamed of. Instead, we settle down with someone, making do with the situation.
In the silence between Luo Ben and me, Mi Cai finally replied to my message. She countered with a question: “Why are you suddenly asking this?”
I stared at the message for a long time, guessing that the word “marriage” must also feel unfamiliar to her. Without a clear opinion, she had simply tossed the question back to me.
Since I received no real answer, I wisely refrained from continuing the conversation. I simply responded with “Just asking randomly,” told her to rest early, and ended the conversation. Yet deep inside, I understood that on this long march of love, we still had a long way to go before we could truly adapt to each other.
Time continued to move forward. The next day was the date of Mi Zhongde’s birthday banquet, and thus, I spent the entire night in anxiety. In truth, I wasn’t mentally prepared to attend this banquet as Mi Cai’s boyfriend. I was certain that I would inevitably be asked questions like what job I did, which would place both Mi Cai and me in an awkward situation.
Unable to fall asleep, I brewed myself a cup of tea, opened my laptop, and browsed job postings on various websites. A few days earlier, I had handed the management of the bar “The Fifth Season” back to Leyao. Leyao had efficiently found a bar manager to take over operations, so with a brief return to freedom, I had begun preparing for my job search.
After filtering through some companies and submitting my resume, I finally closed the laptop. It was already midnight. I lay back down on the bed and, out of habit, picked up my phone. I noticed an unread WeChat message from Mi Cai. Opening it, I saw she wanted me to wake up early the next day to accompany her in preparing a birthday gift for Mi Zhongde.
I replied with “No problem.” Soon, Mi Cai sent another message: “Why aren’t you asleep yet?”
“Not sleepy yet. You’re still up too!”
“I’m working on the first-quarter plan for Zhuo Mei. I’ll rest soon.”
“Alright, see you tomorrow then.”
“See you tomorrow.”
I sighed involuntarily, placed the phone back on the nightstand beside my bed, and lit my final cigarette before sleep. Yet my oppressive mood didn’t ease. I felt as if I had been torn in half—half of me longing to complete the process of emotional adaptation in love, and the other half helpless against the current unfortunate circumstances. It was a terrible feeling, and so I lay awake the entire night.
Even though I hadn’t slept, the next day I still got up early at the sound of the alarm clock. However, due to the severe lack of sleep, I appeared somewhat listless.
After washing up, I took out a decent-looking suit from the wardrobe, put it on, and prepared breakfast. Shortly afterward, Mi Cai arrived.
From the moment she entered the door, I watched her. She hadn’t made any special effort to dress up today, wearing only a regular business outfit she usually wore for work.
“Today is your uncle’s birthday banquet. There will be so many social elites there—aren’t you going to dress up a bit?”
Mi Cai shook her head, indicating it wasn’t necessary, and said to me, “Let’s eat breakfast first. We’re on a tight schedule—we need to arrive in Shanghai before noon.”
Of course, I knew that Mi Cai had chosen not to dress up to accommodate me. After all, it wouldn’t look right if the two of us were holding hands, with me so plain and her dazzlingly dressed.
My sense of burden grew heavier, and my heart was in turmoil. After all, she was the CEO of Zhuo Mei, and such casual attire was absolutely inappropriate. But… I still couldn’t get past my own sense of inadequacy.
At that moment, I deeply understood that no matter how perfect one imagines love to be, in the end, one cannot escape the prison of reality. Because no one can live outside society, one must abide by the rules of the real world.
Finally, with great difficulty, I managed a smile and said to Mi Cai, “Could you help me buy a set of clothes later?”
Mi Cai looked slightly surprised but quickly understood my meaning and nodded in agreement.
I was grateful that she didn’t ask why, which spared me some of the disappointment that comes from compromise. But only slightly—deep down, I still felt a sense of loss.
After breakfast, Mi Cai and I went to the mall together. She bought me a Burberry suit and also purchased a gift for Mi Zhongde before we set off together for Shanghai.
About an hour later, we arrived at Mi Zhongde’s villa in Shanghai. The lunch banquet today was a family gathering, attended only by Mi Zhongde’s immediate family. The evening banquet would be for friends and key executives of Zhuo Mei.
Mi Cai parked the car outside, waiting for someone to open the gate. I instinctively glanced into the courtyard and saw it already filled with various luxury cars. It seemed that many relatives had come for the family banquet, and I unavoidably felt pressure.
After a moment of consideration, I finally said to Mi Cai beside me, “Maybe I shouldn’t attend the family lunch today. I’ll just join everyone for the evening banquet.”
“Why?”
I remained silent for a while before honestly replying, “I’m not mentally prepared yet, and I don’t have the confidence to face your family as your boyfriend.”
Mi Cai’s tone was slightly displeased as she asked, “Then are you really my boyfriend?”
“Yes, precisely because of that, I don’t want to embarrass you. If your family asks me about my job, I’ll find it hard to answer. I believe they will also find it difficult to accept my current unemployed status.”
“Why do you insist on linking our relationship with your job?”
“If you could put yourself in my position, I think you’d understand.”
As we were arguing, the maid had already opened the gate, but Mi Cai hadn’t driven the car in. She looked at me with a complicated expression.
Suddenly, a car horn sounded from behind us. Instinctively, we both turned around and saw a white R8 stuck behind us. Then, a young woman in her twenties wearing a red coat stepped out of the car.
Mi Cai said to me, “That’s my younger sister.”
I silently thought to myself, “The daughter of Mi Zhongde!” and couldn’t help but look back again.
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