Chapter 213: Let’s Calm Down, Calm Down

The determined look in Mi Cai’s eyes that wouldn’t stop until she got answers made me feel suffocated. I lit a cigarette for myself, smoked half of it, and then stubbed it out in the ashtray. Finally, I steeled myself and said to Mi Cai, “This advertising deal was for Jian Wei and Golden Summit Properties… I…”

“You don’t need to say anything else.”

“I want to explain.”

With tears in her eyes, Mi Cai shook her head, “Zhaoyang, I really doubt my position in your heart. You keep saying how much you care about me, but then what? You were willing to come to Suzhou to manage a bar for Leyao and willing to negotiate business for Jian Wei’s advertising company, but you’re not willing to work at Zhuomei…”

“It’s really not how you think.”

“Tell me then, how am I thinking? Then tell me, if this happened to another woman, would she remain indifferent?”

I sighed and lit another cigarette in frustration, suddenly at a loss for words, not knowing how to explain.

Mi Cai turned and walked toward her room, and soon I heard the sound of her packing clothes.

Suddenly, I felt exhausted, even too tired to stop her. I just sat there staring blankly at the TV cabinet, and noticed a vertically placed guitar next to it.

I stubbed out the cigarette again, walked to the cabinet, picked up the guitar, and examined it.

This exquisitely crafted guitar was clearly custom-made. Suddenly, I realized this was the guitar Mi Cai had mentioned giving to me the other day.

On the back of the guitar, I saw a rainbow and a rising sun pattern. I knew the rising sun was me, and the rainbow was her. Although our names weren’t engraved on this guitar, it conveyed more meaning than just names.

My heart felt like it was burning in chili water, painful and stinging. I raised my head, trying to steady my breath, then put the guitar down and gently pushed open Mi Cai’s bedroom door.

She had already packed the clothes she had previously refused to take with her into a large suitcase. My heart felt as if it was being drained piece by piece, followed by a sense of panic and suffocation, as if I had fallen into the sorrow of love once again.

I could no longer control myself. I took two steps to Mi Cai’s side and tightly embraced her, preventing her from continuing to pack. Each time a piece of clothing disappeared from the wardrobe, my heart felt emptier, and I could no longer endure this hollow pain.

Mi Cai struggled, “Let me go.”

“Don’t leave, okay?”

“Get away from me.”

I held her even tighter, already sobbing, “Don’t leave, don’t leave… There are some hardships I don’t know how to explain to you. I’m clumsy, I really don’t know how to describe it… But I love you… I truly love you. If you leave, I’ll be empty, just an empty shell!”

Mi Cai bit her lip tightly, her eyes holding back tears.

I kissed her recklessly. She struggled to refuse at first, but gradually gave in, awkwardly responding.

I could no longer control myself. I carried her to the bed and unbuttoned her clothes one by one. Her body was exposed before me. In my frenzy, I pulled at her pajama pants on her lower body. My face accidentally touched hers, and the feeling of her tears instantly sobered me up. I gradually stopped my actions, then looked up at her.

Tears streamed down her face, but she turned her head away, not looking at me. This scene quickly subdued my physical desire. I looked at her helplessly and finally said, “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry!”

Mi Cai fastened her buttons and looked at me for a long time, “Zhaoyang, let’s both calm down, okay?”

“How long will we calm down? I’m afraid that once you calm down, you won’t come back.”

“I’m more afraid that you’re entangled with so many women… This isn’t the love I want!”

“I don’t want to be entangled with them either, but… reality…”

“Then tell me, what about reality?”

“Reality… I need that money.”

“Why didn’t you tell me if you needed money?”

“Don’t you understand? I want to earn that money through my own abilities, not through someone else’s gifts!”

Mi Cai shook her head painfully, “Now we can’t even communicate properly… Don’t say anything else. The more we talk, the more misunderstandings we’ll have… Let’s calm down, okay?”

I raised my head, refusing to let the warmth in my eyes turn into tears, but a feeling of overwhelming helplessness surged in my heart. I was powerless to bind Mi Cai and make her stay here.

…

I thought: I would never forget the image of her dragging the suitcase away tonight. Because that full suitcase contained not only her clothes but also my soul.

…

I sat alone in her room until dawn. I gradually realized that love was the most unpredictable thing in the world. We could indeed imagine love to be very beautiful, but real life kept throwing obstacles at us, making us lose our way in the mire of love.

Right now, I could only pin my hopes on her words, “Let’s calm down,” because she hadn’t said “break up” yet, hadn’t truly sentenced me to death!

I felt tired and drowsy, lying on Mi Cai’s bed and falling asleep, but the warmth she had left behind had already completely faded.

…

I slept until noon and then wandered around the house like a soulless body, sometimes standing, sometimes sitting, sometimes taking a few steps.

Until the phone rang in the house, I rushed into the room, praying it was Mi Cai calling me, but it was Jian Wei.

After lighting a cigarette, I answered the call without speaking, just waiting for her to speak first.

“Zhaoyang, I’m sorry… I originally put the bank card in your pocket, but I didn’t expect Zhao Ke (the person who sent me home) to think you might lose it after drinking and gave it to Mi Cai instead…”

I interrupted Jian Wei and asked, “If Xiangchen knows I helped you with the business, will he be upset?”

Jian Wei almost didn’t think before saying, “Why should he interfere with my work?”

“Then why do you care that Zhao Ke gave the bank card to Mi Cai instead of me? We only met because of work, right?”

Jian Wei finally relaxed and said, “It’s really good if it doesn’t affect your relationship.”

“Yeah… If there’s nothing else, I’ll hang up.”

“Okay, goodbye.”

I hung up Jian Wei’s phone and then saw an unread message. I opened it casually. It was from Jian Wei last night. She told me the bank card was in my coat pocket and attached the bank card password.

She didn’t lie. All my troubles were just because Zhao Ke’s unnecessary interference. But could I blame her? After all, she had good intentions. At this moment, I would rather believe this was just a test we had to go through on our journey of love.

But why could Jian Wei say those words about Xiangchen having no right to interfere with her work, while I couldn’t say the same about Mi Cai?

Love is never equal. Both Xiangchen and I were the weaker ones in love, while Mi Cai and Jian Wei were the ones being cherished.

…

Under the sunset of dusk, I carried the guitar Mi Cai had specially made for me to the riverside of the city moat. Looking at the pattern of the rising sun and rainbow on the guitar, I suddenly missed her so much, wished she were by my side, listening to me play a song for her. But in the end, it was just a wishful thought. She had tolerated me for so long. This incident was just the spark that ignited long-standing conflicts. But was I really wrong? The person involved could never be sure.

The spring breeze brought the scent of spring again. The willow trees by the city moat broke through the constraints of winter and sprouted green shoots of spring…

The vibrant spring scene in front of me made me unwilling to think about anything else. I just stared at the rainbow and the rising sun on the guitar, entranced.

I thought: The beauty of a rainbow comes from experiencing the baptism of rain, and the brilliance of the rising sun comes from breaking through the constraints of darkness. She is the rainbow, and I am the rising sun. We were destined to be together. This brief separation was only because of the rain and darkness that hindered us. One day, I would see her beauty, and she would bask in my light!