Chapter 234: I Will Miss You

The boy looked at me in confusion, “What’s wrong, Brother Zhaoyang?”

“Tell me her room number. I’ll go find her.”

“Room 3 on the second floor.”

I nodded slightly, feeling somewhat relieved because Jianwei lived on the first floor, meaning their chances of meeting would be much lower.

Upon further thought, Mei Cai and I had already driven our love to a point of unbearable pain. Even if we did run into Jianwei, so what? Was I really afraid of adding fuel to the fire at this point?

I grabbed the cigarettes and lighter I might need later and headed upstairs under the boy’s watchful gaze.

I stood in front of Room 3 for a long time, unable to bring myself to knock because I feared the ensuing silence.

I stared down at my shoes when the door suddenly opened gently, and that familiar, delicate fragrance drifted into my nose.

I raised my head and looked at her absentmindedly.

“Why did you come, yet didn’t knock?”

Awkwardly, I blurted out without thinking, “Who knows if you were asleep or not.”

Mei Cai looked at me and reached out her hand toward my face. Instinctively, I stepped back, dodging her touch.

Her hand hung in the air, then slowly dropped as her expression dimmed, “What happened to your face?”

“I bumped it.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No.”

Mei Cai tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, lapsing into silence. I knew this was an unconscious habit of hers when she felt uneasy, just like how I instinctively touched my nose tip.

After a while, she finally said, “Come in and sit down.”

I hesitated briefly before following her into the room. She sat on the bed while I sat on the chair opposite.

“You don’t mind if I smoke, right?”

Mei Cai shook her head to indicate she didn’t mind.

I immediately lit a cigarette, took a puff, and felt my nervousness ease slightly. Finally, I looked at Mei Cai and said, “This morning, Ran came to see me.”

“I know.”

“He said a lot of things… Some of which, I think, weren’t entirely wrong.”

“What did he say to you?”

“…Let me just tell you my thoughts after hearing all that… I think it’s actually pretty good living like this in Xitang, running a small inn. I’ve never had big ambitions, and we’ve never been on the same path.”

“That’s not what you said the day we decided to be together.”

“Who could predict what would happen in the future? Don’t all couples exchange grand promises of eternal love? But does that mean they’ll necessarily end up together?”

I spoke every word firmly and forcefully, but my heart felt as if it were being repeatedly slashed by a knife.

Tears streamed down her face, but I didn’t look away. Since I had already made my decision, I was prepared to bear the pain of its consequences.

For the first time, pain was clearly visible on her usually indifferent face. Finally, she choked out, “…But without you… I will miss you!… You’ve already entered my heart.”

I remained silent.

“Zhaoyang, you gave me only a falling meteor from the sky, but I never thought it was dangerous. I’ve always cherished it like a perfect diamond… Imagining setting this diamond into a ring, waiting for the day… the day you would marry me… But today you told me yourself that it’s a meteor, not a diamond. This feeling… really hurts… If you really think I shouldn’t appear in your life, just say the word ‘breakup’… I promise I won’t appear in your world again.”

I opened my mouth several times but couldn’t bring myself to say those two words, “breakup.”

After a long silence, I finally gritted my teeth and said, “A man shouldn’t be the one to say ‘breakup.’ You say it.”

“I won’t… I don’t want to.”

Seeing her emotions nearing the verge of losing control, the tightly wound string in my heart finally snapped, yet I still refused to take even half a step closer to her, because I understood that what seemed like a mistake often led to the closest truth.

Although I loved her, it was ultimately futile, because the gap between us was simply too large. If we pursued temporary happiness, we might ruin each other’s lives. More accurately, it would ruin hers. Being with me would inevitably subject her to criticism and humiliation—even affect her control over Zhuomei. This point had already been made very clear to me by Ran before.

Suddenly, I calmed down, looked at her and said, “Let’s break up. Don’t come to Xitang anymore. I live very well and peacefully here by myself.”

Mei Cai looked at me. Her eyes no longer held tears, and she seemed even calmer than I was at that moment, perhaps because I had finally said the word “breakup.”

I smiled, “See how good and easy this is… We live in the real world, not some melodramatic Qiong Yao drama. Why make it so heartbreaking? Remember, there are plenty of people who sleep together today and break up tomorrow!”

“So this is how easily you can let go. I guess I didn’t understand you well enough… I hope you can live well in Xitang.”

“Don’t worry, I’m really good at making myself happy.”

Mei Cai looked at me, and I smiled again. She didn’t respond further, picked up her handbag and a small suitcase from the side table, and walked toward the guesthouse door.

I followed her out, all the way to the front desk, where I said to the drowsy boy, “Tongzi, refund the rest of this lady’s accommodation fee according to the hourly rate.”

“What’s going on, Brother Zhaoyang?”

“Just give her the refund.”

Tongzi looked at both Mei Cai and me, then finally took out a hundred yuan from the cash drawer and handed it to me. I took it and passed it to Mei Cai.

Mei Cai took the money from my hand, tightly clenched it, and without looking back, walked out of the guesthouse.

Suddenly, the clock struck eleven inside the guesthouse. I immediately realized something and rushed out after her.

“Wait… It’s getting late. Stay in Xitang tonight and leave after resting well tomorrow morning.”

“What kind of mood should I stay in Xitang with?”

I didn’t know how to respond but worried about her even more. Eventually, I insisted, “If you insist on leaving, I’ll drive you back to Suzhou.”

“If you insist on sending me, then do so.”

“Give me the car key.” I stretched out my hand toward Mei Cai.

Mei Cai took the car key from her bag and handed it to me. I took it, then turned back to the guesthouse to tell Tongzi that I wouldn’t be coming back tonight and asked him to take good care of the guesthouse. Although Tongzi was puzzled and tired, he generously supported my sudden decision to go to Suzhou.

…

The moonlight that night was so beautiful, and the temperature was so pleasant, not at all matching the sorrowful atmosphere that should have accompanied our breakup. Yet deep inside, I felt sadness because, as I was about to leave, I once again caught sight of her tear-filled eyes in the wind.

I struggled to suppress the various emotions surging in my heart and finally opened the car door, saying to her, “Get in. We’ll soon be back in Suzhou.”

She nodded but didn’t open the front passenger door. Instead, she sat in the back seat. That was fine; at least she wouldn’t see my sorrowful face during the drive.