It was quite unexpected when Weiran suddenly asked to meet me. From the very first moment we met, it was destined not to be friendly. In all these past decades, I had no idea he existed, so we had never been friends. Yet he had fallen in love with the same woman I loved.
I didn’t remain silent for long before I said to him, “Time and place.”
“Nine tomorrow morning, at the Seaview Café downstairs from Zhuomei Building.”
“No problem.”
After Weiran acknowledged and hung up, I stood there dazed for a while before I remembered that I hadn’t ended my call with Mi Cai yet. I switched back to her line and explained, “I just took a call.”
“From who?”
“You wouldn’t have asked that before.”
“That was before. Now is different.”
It was a topic not worth arguing over, so I vaguely replied, “Just a boring call.”
Mi Cai didn’t press further. After reminding me about a few things, she hung up to return to her work. My world briefly fell silent, but I deeply felt it was merely the calm before a storm. I could already imagine what Weiran would want to talk about tomorrow.
I lit a cigarette and tried not to think about anything else, letting myself drift into the endless night in search of a momentary sense of ease.
…
The next morning, I got up at 8 o’clock, giving myself plenty of time to get ready and have breakfast. Around 8:40, I drove toward the Seaview Café where Weiran and I had agreed to meet.
I am a punctual person, and so is Weiran. Therefore, we met at the parking lot of the Seaview Café. After parking the car, we finally met face to face, each removing our sunglasses. Without exchanging a word, we walked one after the other into the café.
After we sat down inside, Weiran ordered a pot of green tea. The waitress poured us each a cup, but neither of us touched our cups. It was impossible for us to sit there peacefully and drink tea together, so I got straight to the point and said, “Talk. What do you want to discuss with me?”
Weiran took a sip of tea, then looked at me sharply and asked, “I came to confirm whether you and Betsy (Mi Cai) are getting married?”
I could sense his unwillingness and hostility in his tone, but I remained calm as I replied, “Yes, we do have plans to marry.”
He frowned tightly, “When?”
“You shouldn’t be asking me for the answer. When the date is set, Mi Cai will surely inform you.”
Weiran’s expression suddenly turned pained. He spoke in a low voice, “We met when I was 22. From the very first moment I saw her, I vowed that I would marry no one else but this woman. Five years have passed, and she’s still not my wife. Yet I still love her deeply. Do you understand the pain of never being able to have her?”
I remained silent for a long time before finally saying to him, “Of course I understand, but I can’t do anything for you, and I don’t even understand the purpose of you meeting me today.”
Weiran’s expression was filled with determination as he said, “I want you to leave her…”
Even though I had mentally prepared myself, hearing him say it directly still stirred up a surge of anger inside me. I restrained myself, smiled slightly, and said, “According to the plot of a romantic drama, wouldn’t you be handing me a check right about now?”
“As long as you leave her, name your price… Also, let me remind you, you don’t have the ability to give her true happiness, nor can you help her hold on to Zhuomei.”
I immediately became alert and asked, “What do you mean dragging Zhuomei into this?”
Weiran took another sip of tea from his cup, and after a pause, he replied, “You should understand exactly what I mean… I have the ability to completely change Zhuomei’s fate. You should know that, in Betsy’s heart, nothing is more important than Zhuomei.”
“You bastard…”
Weiran closed his eyes, his face full of pain. “I didn’t want to do this either… Even when she’s with you, even when she always tells me how happy she is with you, I was willing to be a silent listener. But… I cannot bear her marrying you. Because once that happens, I will never have a chance with her again. My belief in love will collapse, and I cannot bear such a collapse.”
“So you’d rather make her unhappy just to stop her from marrying me…”
Weiran became furious. He spoke harshly, “Don’t say she’s marrying you in front of me. You don’t deserve her… You’ve only ever taken from her, never given anything!”
Looking at Weiran’s twisted expression, I couldn’t help but ask myself, “Have I really never given anything to Mi Cai?… I suddenly found myself confused about the boundary between taking and giving. Right now, I do drive her car, borrowed 1.5 million from her, and I really don’t have the ability to firmly hold on to Zhuomei for her. But in my heart, I truly hope she is happy. I just can’t give much, because I’m still struggling at the early stage of my entrepreneurship… But are these reasons enough for me to leave Mi Cai and give up this love?”
Finally, I said to the glaring Weiran, “Now that we’ve come this far, there’s no need to continue this conversation. Because I believe whatever you can give Mi Cai, I can give her too in the future. Of course, if Mi Cai feels that being with me, Zhao Yang, is a burden and wants to leave, I won’t say a word and will leave her side immediately… So, I think you should talk to Mi Cai, not me.”
I stood up, ready to leave. Weiran shouted at my back, “Zhao Yang, are you really going to watch Betsy lose Zhuomei with your own eyes?”
I froze in place. Thinking about Mi Cai’s deep attachment to Zhuomei, my heart ached. Still, I gritted my teeth and replied, “I’d rather believe you’re joking with me. If she loses Zhuomei, it would be like losing the greatest support her late father gave her. She would collapse…”
Weiran said nothing, because this was also torment for him. I absolutely believed that he didn’t want to hurt Mi Cai, but… if the pain of losing her kept pressing on him and provoking him, no one could guarantee he would remain rational… This was a gamble for me, yet I really didn’t want to give up this hard-won love. Even if it was selfish, love itself was always innocent!
…
After leaving the Seaview Café, I drove absentmindedly, my heart still painfully torn. I was afraid to make a choice because every choice meant my life would fall into a slump, like the time I told Mi Cai about Mi Zhongde’s conspiracy, and like when I returned to Suzhou for Leyao, my life changed drastically, going through agonizing transitions. But back then, there was always Mi Cai, like a rival, like a friend, like a lover, accompanying me through it all… What about after this choice?
I would probably lose Mi Cai forever. No one would ever again play multiple roles for me, comforting me through the life after my choice, and I would be left only with endless loneliness and pain. I felt genuine fear, fear of making that choice!
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