Back at the old house, I stood alone at the edge of the balcony, watching the plants sway gently in the wind. I remembered clearly how I had once used part of my rent money to buy these plants, and how they had become part of the household, cared for alternately by Mi Cai and me. But now, after this dream, it was time for me to wake up. After our chance encounter, Mi Cai and I were ultimately nothing more than landlord and tenant with a superficial connection. Everything else that had happened could only be regarded as a delusion brought on by a moment of dizziness.
Facing the wind, I lit a cigarette and finally took out my phone, logging into online banking to check my account balance. There was only more than 500,000 yuan, while I still owed Mi Cai more than 2 million. But I would definitely repay her as soon as possible. Now that we had broken up, there should be no material connection between us. So tomorrow, I planned to approach CC. I knew she still had some spare money and could help me out temporarily, so I could finally put a full stop to this love that felt like a dream.
I couldn’t sleep, so I spent the entire night repeatedly cleaning the house. But no matter how clean it was now, dust would eventually cover it again once no one lived here. So even cleaning had lost its meaning. Or perhaps, what did it matter to me whether it gathered dust or not? After all, I was merely a tenant, while Mi Cai was the true landlord. No matter how much I cherished this house, which I had lived in for many years, I was still just a tenant.
I sat on the sofa, drank a can of beer, and smoked a cigarette. Then I returned to my room to pack my belongings. Standing outside Mi Cai’s room for a long time, I finally went in. I found the guitar and the remote-controlled racing car I had given her, hiding them both under her bed. I didn’t want to take these with me, but I also didn’t want Mi Cai to know I had left them behind. So under the bed was a safe place. As far as I knew, Mi Cai had lived here for over half a year without ever moving the bed; she would never discover the secret under it.
Sitting on her bed, I saw the rag doll hanging by the headboard. Mi Cai had made it during her last trip to America. I had one too. We called these dolls Yang Ge and Cai Mei, and once naively believed that these dolls symbolized us in real life, that we would never separate.
But that was merely wishful thinking. We still lost to time, eventually choosing different paths at the crossroads of love, going our separate ways, like heaven and earth.
I took down Yang Ge from the headboard, then took the Cai Mei keychain I had been carrying and hung it in its place. I stared at it for a long time, gradually accepting the reality of our breakup, encouraging myself that maybe tomorrow morning, I would no longer remember this dream-like love.
…
The next morning, I woke up in Mi Cai’s bed. During the late hours of the previous night, after I had grown tired, I had lain down on her bed and fallen asleep. I seemed to have had a dream, or maybe not. Either way, when I woke up, I felt dazed and hadn’t forgotten this dream-like love as I had hoped the day before. I remained alone in my sadness.
After washing up, I called CC and arranged to meet her at the Empty City Music Restaurant, though I didn’t tell her on the phone that Mi Cai and I had already broken up, or that I wanted to borrow some money from her to repay Mi Cai, so that we could part ways cleanly and without financial entanglements.
At nine in the morning, I met CC at the restaurant. We sat across from each other near the window. She looked at me with some confusion and asked, “What’s so urgent that you had to meet me this early?”
“Just have a glass of ice-cold beer with me first.”
“I’m on my period, no drinking.”
So I drank a glass of ice-cold beer alone, then asked her, “How much money do you have saved up right now?”
“About one million. Why? Is it for starting the company?”
“No, it’s not related to the company.”
“Then what do you need the money for?”
CC’s confusion told me that Mi Cai hadn’t told her about our breakup yet, but this was expected. Because once you truly decide to break up, you don’t usually go around telling others, since well-meaning consolations can become a big nuisance. So a breakup with no room for negotiation is often the quietest kind.
I said to CC, “Just don’t ask so many questions. I promise to repay you by the end of this year at the latest.”
CC looked at me even more puzzled and asked, “Why don’t you just borrow from Mi Cai? This amount is nothing to her. Did something happen between you two?”
“We’ve already ended it. I’m borrowing this money to repay her.”
CC looked at me in disbelief, then sighed after a while, “How did you two break up? Who initiated the breakup?”
As expected, once the truth was out, such questions were inevitable. But I really didn’t want to answer or try to salvage anything anymore. I replied, “We’ve already split up. There’s no point in digging into the reasons now.”
“You’re right, there’s no point in digging into the reasons. But do you really want to break up, or did this relationship die because of childish stubbornness?”
“We’re both 27-year-old adults now. There’s no room for childish stubbornness anymore. It might seem sudden, but this breakup wasn’t something that happened overnight. Just think of it as a dream.”
CC sighed, seemingly deeply disappointed in our relationship and no longer wanting to offer comfort. Finally, she said, “I have this one million in a fixed deposit. It’s a large amount and I need to make an appointment in advance to withdraw it. Come with me tomorrow and we’ll handle it together.”
I nodded, though I still felt somewhat anxious. Even after borrowing one million from CC and adding my own 500,000, there was still a shortfall of more than 700,000 to cover. Only then did I realize that the life I had thought was changed by money had actually been provided by Mi Cai. And now, I could see the truth in Jian Wei’s words that “career is a man’s most loyal friend.” Otherwise, like now, even breaking up had become a source of anxiety. To put it bluntly, it was pathetic.
…
After leaving the Empty City Restaurant, I drove the newly purchased Grand Cherokee to a used car market, eventually selling it to a dealer for 50,000 less than its original price. Finally, I had barely managed to gather the 2 million I owed. Yet, to my surprise, I didn’t feel any sense of relief.
I stood under the midday sun for a while before finally taking out my phone and sending a message to a number that now felt unfamiliar: “Tomorrow night at 8 PM, at the old house. I’ll repay the money I owed you, and return the house key…”
In the afternoon, I booked a hotel room and returned to the old house to collect my luggage. As I walked into the compound, I suddenly saw a woman I hadn’t seen in a long time. She was still in the habit of wearing sunglasses, but in the sunlight, her posture carried a new sense of maturity and composure that she hadn’t had before… it was Leyao, she had come to find me, and I felt quite surprised.
At that moment, it felt as if fate had come full circle, bringing us back to those days when we were both lost souls. We had each entered a low point in our lives, and it seemed like a strange coincidence once again.
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