I lit a cigarette to calm myself before walking toward her. She had taken off her sunglasses, and her expression was surprisingly relaxed. This made me doubt my earlier assumption that she was also someone who had suffered greatly in life. She looked genuinely calm and composed.
I asked her, “Are you here looking for me?”
She smiled and countered, “In this place, it’s either you or Mi Cai I’m looking for. Who do you think I’m here for?”
I smiled back but didn’t know how to continue the conversation. I stood there silently, smoking the entire cigarette until it became a butt, before finally saying, “I need to go upstairs to grab something. Please wait for me here for a moment.”
Le Yao nodded, indicating that I should go ahead. I threw away the cigarette butt and walked toward the old staircase with a vague sense of desolation.
…
Back in the apartment, I looked around. There was actually nothing left to pack, but I still didn’t leave immediately with my luggage. Instead, I sat on the sofa for a while, overwhelmed by the memories of this place. I couldn’t help but feel lost about my future.
I recalled the last time I went to Xuzhou, when Mi Cai and I had promised our parents that we would get married. But now, that promise had turned into a lie. If my parents asked about it later, they would surely scold me again. In their eyes, I was still a son who couldn’t grasp the essentials of life, treating love as a game. But I was helpless, still immersed in this ended love without the will to wake up. However, I couldn’t change anything, so I could only apologize again to my parents who had high hopes for me.
When I was leaving, I wanted to take something from this apartment to remind me of the years I had lived here. In the end, I thought it was unnecessary. After all, the essence of this place was already engraved in my soul. Even when I was about to die, I would still spend the last ten minutes of my life recalling the years I spent in this apartment. As for whether I would remember that woman who had been a fleeting passerby in my life, maybe only at the moment of death would I know the answer.
With my luggage on my back, I gently closed the door behind me without looking back. This departure wasn’t a farewell. At 8 p.m. tomorrow night, I would return here to return the keys and money to Mi Cai. That would be the real farewell.
When I came downstairs, Le Yao was waiting for me in a shady spot, already holding two bottles of chilled drinks. As I approached, she handed one to me and took out a wet wipe from her pocket, asking me to wipe off my sweat.
“Thank you,” I said, taking the drink and the wipe from her. Before I could even open the drink, she looked at my luggage and asked, “What’s in your big bag?”
“All my belongings from these years.”
The summer heat had made my throat sore, so I quickly opened the drink and took a big sip after speaking. I couldn’t help but recall that this woman beside me always showed me care in small details, like this chilled drink in my hand. Even though she had become a famous female star nationwide, she still continued to care for me, a small figure in life, yet I rarely paid attention to it. I had accumulated countless such moments of care and thrown them all into the easiest corner to forget.
My answer left Le Yao puzzled, and she asked, “Are you moving out from here?”
I nodded, not wanting to say more because it would bring up the fact that Mi Cai and I had already broken up. I didn’t want to repeatedly experience the pain of this breakup within the same day—it was tearing my heart apart.
Le Yao continued, “Actually, I was just passing through Suzhou and thought I’d come to see CC, Roben… and you!”
“Oh, have you already visited CC and Roben?”
“No, not yet. Let’s have dinner together tonight. It can be a farewell dinner for me!”
“Wait, are you leaving on a long trip?”
Le Yao nodded and said, “Yes… Do you remember that girl from the small village?”
“I do. She was thin and small. Last time you left, she gave you a basket of wild fruits, and you said you would take her to live in Beijing.”
“Exactly. She’s like an orphan now, so I plan to take her out of the mountains and bring her to Singapore.”
“Immigrate!”
Le Yao nodded again, confirming it. After a long pause, she continued, “So much has happened in China, and wherever I go, people point fingers and gossip. It’s unbearable. So immigrating abroad is also a way to seek peace… Haha, I guess you’re also at peace now. There’s no more annoying woman to ruin your relationship with Mi Cai!”
A complex emotion surged within me. I stared at Le Yao for a long time before saying, “Yes!”
Le Yao shrugged and smiled again, not saying anything more. Once again, I saw a kind of calmness in her after seeing through everything. CC was right. We shouldn’t over-interpret her statement about leaving the entertainment industry. She just wanted to pursue a peaceful, ordinary life. As for the pain and helplessness I had once caused her, she had gradually let go.
…
That evening, the four of us—me, CC, Le Yao, and Roben—gathered at the music-themed restaurant “Kong Cheng.” We drank quite a bit, and it wasn’t until the end of the gathering that Le Yao told them about her decision to immigrate to Singapore.
CC and Roben tried to persuade her repeatedly but failed to change her mind. She said Singapore would be a new beginning for her. Eventually, CC and Roben, as close friends, respected her decision and offered their blessings for her future life in Singapore.
Near the end of the gathering, Roben took me aside while CC and Le Yao were chatting. He lit a cigarette and said to me, “Now that you’ve broken up with Mi Cai, are you just going to watch Le Yao move abroad?”
“I think it’s a good choice for her to live abroad. You know, she can’t live peacefully in China!”
“Nonsense! She’s given up on you… and she still doesn’t know that you and Mi Cai have already broken up. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have decided to immigrate abroad!”
I lit a cigarette and took a deep drag, saying, “Don’t tell her that Mi Cai and I have broken up. Let her leave peacefully. Perhaps the quiet life abroad is exactly what she’s seeking now.”
“In the end, your heart is still with Mi Cai. You’re secretly hoping for a chance to get back together. After all, this trouble named Le Yao is leaving. You can just go groveling a few nice words, and maybe she’ll soften and take you back!”
“Stop it!”
“Then go and convince Le Yao to stay. Or are you really planning to spend the rest of your life alone?”
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