After returning home, Banged was sent to the kitchen by Mom to help cook, while she pulled me to sit on the sofa and asked, “Son, did you really break up with that girl from Suzhou?”
I nodded, “Yeah… her name is Mi Cai. Please stop calling her ‘that Suzhou girl’—it feels awkward!”
Mom looked at me disapprovingly, “You seem so emotional—does that mean you still have feelings for her? Let me tell you something honestly, son. She’s undeniably pretty, but she’s not the kind of girl who can settle down with you. She doesn’t match you at all, Zhaoyang!”
“Mom, why are you even bringing this up now? We’ve already broken up!”
“Exactly because you broke up that I need to talk to you. You need to understand what kind of girl you should spend your life with. Think about it yourself—since Jian Wei, and now Mi Cai, none of them were really about building a stable life. I don’t want my son, at age 27 already, to still not understand what marriage and life really are!”
I stayed silent, feeling upset inside. It felt like all these years of effort I had poured into my love life had been carelessly dismissed by my own mother, all because she considered them superficial.
Mom softened her tone again, “Son, I don’t mean to criticize you. I just want you to live well. We are just an ordinary family, and all I wish for is a stable life. So this time, you must listen to me!”
I still didn’t know how to respond, so I lit a cigarette and smoked silently.
Mom continued earnestly, “How about you find some time to finalize the house purchase? As for getting married, I’ll take care of the arrangements.”
“Where am I supposed to buy a house, and marry whom exactly?”
“Of course, buy a house here in Xuzhou and marry Xiao Yun. I think you two are made for each other. Don’t you think Yun is such a great girl?”
“Mom, stop pushing me to think about this and that. The only reason I came back to Xuzhou this time was to visit you and Dad. Let’s leave the house and marriage stuff for later, okay?”
“Can you even afford to wait? You’re already 27, and 30 is just around the corner…”
“Rest assured, I won’t wait until after 30 to get married!”
Back in my room, I half-lay on the bed and took out those two engagement rings from the bag by the bedside. A wave of unbearable sadness washed over me again, and even my eyes felt warm and moist. I felt wronged—why did I keep falling into the grave of love again and again? Where should I go from here?
At that moment, I felt an unprecedented emptiness. In that emptiness, I felt the pain of youth slipping away, and I realized that time was leaving me with fewer and fewer options. It seemed I no longer had the right to chase after the love I wanted, or perhaps I had simply lost the desire to chase altogether. I had gradually stopped believing in love itself. Perhaps what Jian Wei said made sense—maybe I should shift my focus to my career and build a fortress around my life that is as solid as gold.
After turning life over and over in my mind, I finally made up my mind: this afternoon, I would sell those two rings that had brought me—and others—so much pain. As for love, I would let life sort it out naturally. From now on, I would no longer deliberately pursue it.
After lunch with Banged, Mom, and Xiao Yun, I drove through Xuzhou, the city I had lived in for many years. I sold the two rings to a jewelry recycler for 108,000 yuan. At that moment, my life was finally and completely separated from marriage. All those past hopes and expectations for marriage were lightly tossed aside on the noisy streets, never to be retrieved again.
For the rest of the afternoon, I searched along the city’s edges for suitable commercial space to realize my plan to open an inn in Xuzhou. By evening, I finally sat down in a teahouse and called Yang Congrong.
Soon after, Yang picked up the call, “Zhaoyang, what a surprise! Why did you think of calling me today?”
“Uncle Yang, I’ve wanted to apologize to you for a while now. Lately, I’ve been caught up in some personal matters that have affected my work… but don’t worry, I will regain my focus.”
“Since I chose to partner with you, I already have complete trust in you. There’s no need to apologize.”
“Thank you for your trust… Actually, I called to ask for your opinion. I’d like to start with Xuzhou and expand our inns and bars across Jiangsu Province.”
“Tell me your reasoning.”
“First, Xuzhou is a tourist city. Second, it’s a transportation hub connecting Jiangsu and Shandong provinces, and it’s the largest city in Northern Jiangsu, so its market potential is unquestionable. Also, it’s my hometown—I hope to have more opportunities to come back and visit my parents.”
“You’ve given both objective and personal reasons, and they’re solid. I support you. However…”
“Please go ahead, Uncle Yang.”
“I originally planned to not only invest in advertising resources, but also provide additional capital investment. However, Jian Wei strongly opposed it. She said that if I added more investment, it would further dilute your shares. She wants you to have full control over this project because you are its soul!”
I was deeply moved, but didn’t know what to say.
Yang continued, “Zhaoyang, if we’re talking about funding, Wei is the most suitable and reliable candidate. She has no ulterior motives in this project. I don’t understand why you refused her?”
In fact, back then when I refused Jian Wei’s investment, it was only because I was worried about the complications of our past relationship, fearing it might upset Mi Cai. But now everything was over—was there still a reason to refuse? Jian Wei was indeed the best investor because she would never bring any ulterior motives into this project. Like me, she was chasing that same sense of freedom and expansion.
After careful consideration, I finally said to Yang, “I’ll talk to Jian Wei about the investment again.”
“That’s great! If the investor is Wei, I wouldn’t mind giving up a bit of my shares. Our three-party collaboration can continue based on absolute trust… Zhaoyang, if you have no objections to Wei’s investment, please finalize this with her as soon as possible. Then I can proceed with the promotion plan.”
“Okay, Uncle Yang, I’ll contact her right away.”
After ending the conversation with Yang, I immediately called Jian Wei. Now that Mi Cai and I had broken up, I really didn’t need to worry about anything anymore. I should devote all my energy to my career and let my career shape my life. As for that elusive love, perhaps it was better not to expect anything at all.
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