Mi Cai seemed to sense the emotions in my heart. She looked at me silently, momentarily unsure how to respond. I continued, “If you have something to say, just say it. Or are you really planning to take a few photos of me? I can pose awkwardly to cooperate with you!”
Mi Cai spoke softly, “Zhaoyang, can you please not talk like this?”
“Can you tell me how I should speak? Or what should I say to make you satisfied?”
Mi Cai fell silent again. Instinctively, I lit a cigarette, wishing to exhale all my loneliness and bitterness along with the smoke, exposing myself to Mi Cai in the rawest form. But I wouldn’t admit that this loneliness came from me, because I had once said that I would live better than her.
She finally spoke, “Your company opens tomorrow. Congratulations on the grand opening!”
“Thank you… Anything else?”
“Are we heading the same way? If so, we can walk together.”
“I’m going north.”
“I’m also going north.”
I reminded her, “The old house faces south.”
“I haven’t lived there for a long time.”
A sense of loss surged within me, and I skillfully smiled, “It’s better not to live there…”
“Why do you think so?”
“That dilapidated old house, how could it match your prestigious position as CEO of Zhuomei… Anyway, I shouldn’t say this. In front of you, I should just be a silent man!”
With that, I started walking north in this city. I had rented a small apartment in that district, only a one-bedroom apartment, but it had a large floor-to-ceiling window. I could stand at the top of this city, overlook everything, and forget that lowly old house.
Perhaps this was the only thing Mi Cai and I did in unison after our breakup. Gradually, we both forgot the existence of that old house. But I did it deliberately, while she did it casually. Yet the result was ultimately the same.
Mi Cai walked beside me, saying nothing, seemingly coincidentally heading the same way. But my emotions felt trampled by her canvas shoes with buttons. I struggled to breathe and stopped again, saying, “If I take a big step, you follow with a big step. If I take a half step, you take a small one. Are you plotting something against me?”
She remained emotionless as always, simply replying, “Coincidental path.”
I asked again, “Which way will you go at the next intersection?”
“Which way are you going?”
“Stop tormenting me, okay? I’m just a penniless loser. I’m not even worth the price of one of your shoes. Isn’t it awkward for us to walk together?”
She lifted her foot, showing me her ordinary Converse canvas shoes…
Suddenly, I felt disoriented. I realized that after a cycle, we seemed to have returned to the beginning when we first met, always teasing each other’s patience with trivial matters. Accurately speaking: it was I who teased her before, and now it’s her teasing me.
After a moment of silence, I said, “If you have anything serious to say, please say it quickly. After all, I’m quite busy managing affairs daily!”
After a longer silence, Mi Cai finally asked, “Why did you refuse the contract from Zhuomei?”
“I’ve already made that clear to Manager Chen.”
“But he just returned the contract to me without saying anything.”
I nodded and said, “Fine, then first answer my question… What was your motive in offering me this contract? Was it really, as Chen Jingming said, because you felt you owed me some favors in the past and wanted to repay them now so you could marry with a clear conscience… To clarify: the first part was conveyed by Chen Jingming, and the latter part is my own speculation!”
“I simply thought your project was good, and the group indeed has tourism-related needs, so I gave you the contract!”
“Why can you lie so calmly?… If you feel that repaying me clears your conscience so you can marry someone else without worries, that’s fine. I can accept that, but please don’t do it this way.”
“Why do you always make unfounded assumptions that make you so biased?”
“Biased? Biased?… Mi Cai, sometimes I really want to ask you how you view the feelings we once had. I dare not call it love because you were always too restrained and calm, so even the ending was so peaceful. But let me tell you, I’m very… No, it’s useless to say more now. Just marry well, I don’t need anything from you. If you must give me something, go buy me a few cans of beer from the convenience store across the street, and we’ll be even. Then we can go our separate ways on this road and never meet again!”
She looked at me with tears in her eyes, still responding to my anxiety and avoidance with silence and calmness…
I turned and continued walking toward the next intersection. The company van I had driven was parked in a temporary parking spot north of the intersection…
Finally, as I walked further away, Mi Cai called out, “Zhaoyang, I’ll go buy you some beer. Wait a moment.”
I stopped again, turned back smiling, “Go ahead, buy the large cans that you can finish in one go!”
…
Mi Cai walked toward the other side of the street with the passing crowd, and my heart felt hollow again. I disliked such encounters, wishing my world had no news of her at all. At least I could be like an ostrich burying its head in the sand, convincing myself that everything had moved far away, including the pain…
A moment later, Mi Cai came back with a plastic bag full of beer. Instinctively, I reached out to take it, but she avoided me, saying, “I’ll drink with you.”
“Is it to celebrate my company’s opening or your upcoming wedding?”
Mi Cai opened a can and handed it to me, also opening one for herself, without responding to my words. Instead, she tilted her head, ready to drink the large can of beer.
I knew her tolerance for alcohol was poor. I held her hand and took the beer back from her…
But she started crying, silently shedding tears…
My heart seemed to be corroded by her tears, fragmenting piece by piece into a shattered state… Then I thought of the tragedies of male supporting characters in romance dramas. It seemed that before the female protagonist’s marriage, there was always such a scene: the female protagonist shed apologetic tears in front of the male supporting character because all the male supporting characters had once devoted themselves wholeheartedly. Such reckless devotion always became a burden before the female protagonist’s marriage, making her feel deeply apologetic… Judging from this, those Korean dramas weren’t entirely made up, because right now, I was acting out the exact scene from a romance drama in the real world!
Turns out, I was merely a male supporting character!
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage