I calmed myself a bit and raised my head, only to realize that Wei Manwen had been watching me all along, as if waiting for me to express my current thoughts. After a long silence, I finally said to her, “Perhaps what’s lacking between us is more than just communication. Our pursuits in life are also somewhat different. In her heart, love is not the most important thing.”
Wei Manwen smiled and replied, “Is this still your own judgment, or has Mi Cai herself ever said that she can give up love for certain things?”
I fell silent again, habitually reaching for a cigarette, only to find that Wei Manwen had already taken my cigarette pack to her side. Then I remembered that smoking was banned in this café, so I didn’t speak again until the end of dinner.
As we were preparing to leave, a light drizzle of late summer began to fall. Standing under the neon lights of the café, I finally lit a cigarette and said to her, “Let me drive you home.”
Wei Manwen nodded, “Okay, I’ll wait until you finish this cigarette.”
…
Following Wei Manwen’s directions, I drove her to the residence she shared with Roben. It was no longer the rooftop apartment they had initially rented, but rather a decent residential complex in the city. I parked downstairs and, before Wei Manwen got out of the car, I asked, “Teacher Wei, did you and Roben buy or rent this apartment?”
“We bought it. Roben paid the down payment, and we’re paying the mortgage together.”
I smiled, feeling a tinge of envy. Even Roben, who had once been a wandering drifter through alleyways, now had his own home in Suzhou, and a woman to share the mortgage with.
I asked Wei Manwen again, “When are you two planning to get married?”
“When we’ve saved up enough money for the wedding.”
“If you’re short on cash, I have some savings. You should get married as soon as possible, before something unexpected happens.”
Wei Manwen laughed and said, “Don’t worry about us. If you have some spare money, you should hurry up and buy a house for yourself. How many girls these days don’t care whether their future husband owns a house or not?”
I smiled back at Wei Manwen and said, “Girls these days are indeed very realistic!”
“A house gives women a lot of sense of security.”
At this stage of my life, I didn’t have a strong desire to buy a house. If I had my own house now, I would probably feel even emptier. I preferred living in my rented studio apartment, at least without being tied down to this city, free to come and go as I pleased. Except for one place—the old house—I really wanted to buy it!
…
Perhaps because of our conversation about houses, on my way back, I couldn’t help but constantly think about that old house. If I had ever felt a sense of belonging and home in this city, it was all from that house. So, on this idle night, I wanted to go back and take a look. After all, Mi Cai no longer lived there, so I didn’t have to worry about the awkwardness of an unexpected encounter.
Soon after, I drove to the apartment complex and, through the car window, looked up at the top floor while the rain drizzled from the sky. There were no lights on inside the house, indicating that Mi Cai had indeed moved out. A feeling of disappointment rose in my heart, and I fell into a daze, my gaze fixed on that window…
Suddenly, a beam of bright light shot from my side, and I instinctively turned my head. I saw an SUV approaching, but the glare made it impossible to identify the exact model. The car stopped beside mine, and I realized it was a red Audi Q7. Then I saw Mi Cai stepping out of the car with a handbag.
I felt a sudden tightness in my chest and quickly rolled up the window on my side. Mi Cai seemed not to have noticed me as she walked tiredly toward the stairwell.
I breathed a sigh of relief. If she knew I had come here tonight, where would I put my dignity? At least during our few meetings after the breakup, I had always acted indifferent. What was I doing now, coming here to reminisce?
The lights inside the house turned on, and her shadow appeared on the curtain, moving up and down. She seemed to be packing things…
I lit a cigarette and kept watching in the quiet night, feeling that this woman who was now busy hadn’t really moved far from my life. Memories of our life together began flashing through my mind. I remembered how we used to quarrel and bicker in that house. I smiled helplessly because I could never argue with her and always ended up losing.
I remembered the meals we had cooked together during the golden afternoon hours. Amidst the warmth, I felt a pang of sadness because those moments could only exist as memories now. She was going to marry someone else.
I became lost in thought. When I finally came back to my senses, the lights in the house had gone out. I heard the sound of high heels clicking against the pavement, and then I saw Mi Cai standing in front of my car. She turned on the flashlight on her phone and shone it directly at me.
The rain had soaked her long hair, but I stubbornly refused to get out of the car, feeling not only embarrassed but also ashamed.
Mi Cai approached the side of the car and knocked on the window. I finally rolled it down and asked, “What’s up?”
“Can you move your car a bit to the side? I can’t get mine out.”
“You had the guts to park in here, but not to drive out?”
“There’s another car behind me.”
I turned around and saw, indeed, a three-wheeled motorcycle had parked behind Mi Cai’s car, which I hadn’t noticed before.
“Just a second…”
Mi Cai nodded. I started the car, turned the steering wheel a few times, and finally created enough space for Mi Cai to drive out. Then I turned off the engine. Of course, I could have just driven off hastily, but that wasn’t my style. Besides, I had lived here for over two years. Occasionally revisiting the place was perfectly reasonable. Once I realized this, the awkwardness I felt earlier disappeared.
As Mi Cai was about to get into her car, I called out, “Hey, let’s talk…”
Mi Cai turned around, looking somewhat surprised. I opened the passenger door, signaling her to get in. Outside the car, the rain was falling heavily now.
After a brief hesitation, Mi Cai walked toward my car and sat in the front passenger seat. She took out a tissue and began wiping the rain from her face, waiting for me to speak first.
“What are you here for?”
“To pick up some stuff.”
“Oh, you told me earlier that you no longer live here, right?”
Mi Cai nodded.
After a long silence, I looked at her seriously and asked, “Now that you’re not living here anymore, would you consider selling this place to me? I’ve gotten used to living here.”
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