I looked at Mi Cai, trying to calm the storm of emotions inside me, waiting for her to give me an answer. She picked up the cup of “Old City West” and took another small sip, then nodded at me and said, “I have a marriage agreement with him…”
“That agreement doesn’t count anymore. You are still my Zhaoyang’s woman. No one else can have you!”
She imitated my earlier action, stirring the coffee, and then drank the remaining half of the cup in one gulp, as if proving with action our harmony as a couple. Finally, she asked me again, “How about you? Who have you been with these days?”
“I’ve been alone, though I tried to set up a blind date, but it didn’t work out.”
“Why did you want to set up a blind date?”
“Because I loved too selfishly and didn’t want to see you getting married before me.”
“You’ve always been like this. That’s why at Yan Yan and Fang Yuan’s wedding, you told Jian Wei that I was your girlfriend…”
“Yes, that day after you left, Xiang Chen proposed to Jian Wei, and she accepted. Then you really became my girlfriend. Sometimes being a bit selfish isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”
“Have you ever thought that it was precisely because you falsely claimed I was your girlfriend that Jian Wei agreed to Xiang Chen’s proposal?”
I looked at her for a while before asking, “Do you have any basis for saying that?”
“No, I just think it’s a bit coincidental.”
“So it must have just been a coincidence. What I care about now is our present and future. I will definitely give you happiness, I swear upon this Old City West café!”
“You don’t need to swear to me. It’s always been my lack of determination that hurt you. It should be me who lets you live a happier life…”
Love is the one thing in the world that cannot be measured. Mi Cai’s simple sentence made me forget all the unhappiness I had felt earlier, and I began to imagine our future again under the flickering light of the kerosene lamp. I no longer felt that anything could separate us.
During the brief silence, the owner brought us two glasses of boiled water and said, “This coffee is too strong. Drink some water, so you can sleep better tonight.”
I said “Thank you” and asked him, “By the way, how long has your café been open? I’ve never heard of it before.”
“Almost four years. The business has always been bad, and not many people know about it.”
I hesitated slightly before asking, “May I ask if you make a living solely from this café?”
The owner nodded. I looked at him again. His denim jacket had faded from repeated washing, and the T-shirt underneath was already very loose, suggesting a life of hardship. Meeting him like this on this rainy night, I really wanted to help him somehow, but I didn’t know whether he would oppose a more commercial approach. In his eyes, I sensed a kind of world-weariness. Such a person is numb to money. Perhaps what he pursues is just this lifestyle. So I hesitated to speak, afraid of polluting his way of life.
Unexpectedly, Mi Cai asked, “Your café is almost out of business, isn’t it?”
The owner looked at Mi Cai and finally said, “Yes.”
Mi Cai continued, “Would you like to share with us the story of you and this café? My boyfriend and I both feel you must be a man with a story!”
I nodded, looking at him eagerly. I really wanted to know the story of “Old City West,” and I felt that this kind of café was exactly the type that should appear on the path of literature. Unfortunately, it wasn’t mine… but that didn’t affect how much I liked this café at all.
Before the owner even spoke, his eyes were already moist, as if just thinking about “Old City West” had already stimulated his tear glands.
He took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit it, then extinguished the kerosene lamp on the bar counter, and sat down opposite Mi Cai and me. Thus, the small café was filled with the smell of the extinguished kerosene lamp and cigarette smoke. Fortunately, the wind outside the window was strong and soon blew away these smells.
The owner took a deep puff of his cigarette and exhaled heavily before saying, “I am an unsuccessful painter. Five years ago, I came to Suzhou, met a girl from Changsha who worked as a salesgirl in a mall. After spending some time together, we fell in love. This was the place we once lived… I had no source of income, so she always supported my dream of painting. She worked hard to earn money, helping me contact art dealers, but not a single dealer… not a single dealer was willing to take the risk of buying my paintings because I was too unknown… so she had to work even harder… but the money earned from working was still meager, while the weight of my dream of painting was so heavy… so she took out all her savings over the years, and opened this most modest café, where I could paint and we could earn some extra money to support our life. But the business was never good, because I only knew how to brew coffee, and we couldn’t sell other things in the café. Gradually, the customers who came stopped coming back…”
He paused, took another puff of his cigarette, and the tears that had been welling up in his eyes finally fell. He choked up and said, “Many evenings, we sat under the eaves of this café, looking at the old city not far to the west. She said: If we could buy an old house there, that would be enough. At least it would be our home… But I can’t do anything except painting, so she had to work even harder… But the money earned from working is so little, while the burden of the dream of painting is so heavy… Every night, she would carry flowers bought in bulk to sell in front of the cinema to couples watching movies… One day, just like today, it was raining, and she was walking back with the unsold flowers. I told her to take the bus, but she couldn’t bear to spend those few yuan… I was so worried that I rode my bicycle to pick her up… to pick her up… at a crossroads in the old city, blood flowed from her body, mixing with the flower petals, covering the ground… she had already stopped breathing!… The driver fled the scene, and her soul was thus lonely, buried in that old city… There is no one as good as her in this world anymore… It was my poverty and hardship that indirectly caused her death!”
His emotions were out of control, tears continuously dripping from between his fingers as he covered his eyes… At that moment, I saw a true heartbreak! Perhaps his soul had already gone with that Changsha girl long ago. Originally, behind this “Old City West” café was such a painful story. What he said was right. There is no one as good as her in this world anymore…
My cigarette had already been soaked by the rain, so I took another one from his pack and lit it, unable to help shedding tears. Mi Cai was already crying with her hands covering her face. No one wanted to hear such a story because its content was just too painful.
I wiped the moisture from the corners of my eyes with my fingers and asked him, “Where did your girlfriend work at the time? Was it Zhuo Mei or Bao Li?”
He took out another cigarette and lit it, finally answering after a long pause, “She worked as a salesgirl at a counter in Zhuo Mei.”
Tai Sui Yellow Amulet Paper FuLu Taoist Love Talisman Traditional Chinese Spiritual Charm Attracting Love Protecting Marriage