Mi Cai held my sleeve, clearly somewhat hesitant, and said to me, “Zhaoyang, why do you sound so strange when you say ‘act coquettishly’?”
I frowned, somewhat discontent, and replied, “What’s wrong with acting coquettish with your own boyfriend? Sometimes I really feel your calmness is too cold!”
Mi Cai showed hesitation on her face; she was probably struggling internally, finally saying to me, “Don’t be angry, okay… but acting coquettish requires emotional cooperation. How can you do it on command?”
I deliberately said, “You don’t look at someone like Lin Chi-ling? Even when she’s on variety shows, she still acts coquettish in front of the entire nation… Are you not as pretty as her? Let me tell you, beauty is a woman’s license to act coquettish. Don’t worry, I promise no one will dislike you for it!”
“Sigh… I really don’t know where you come up with all these strange ideas!”
“Don’t complain so much. Come on, act coquettish for me.”
Mi Cai pouted at me, looking very wronged, which was actually a form of coquettishness. I immediately felt delighted, wrapped my arm around her shoulder, leaned her against my body, and laughed, “See, you know how to do it! Occasionally being cute and acting coquettish, I really like it!”
“Then you don’t like me the way I usually am?”
“I do like you, but you’re too aloof. It always gives people a sense of distance… You need to learn to change. Otherwise, in front of our future children, you’ll still be so aloof, and they won’t even recognize you as their mom. Just thinking about it makes me feel sorry for you!”
Mi Cai is a very maternal woman. After hearing my alarmist statement, her expression looked very worried, which gave me a strong sense of achievement, making me feel quite hopeful about changing her… But I neglected the fact that I had never considered adapting to her upper-class lifestyle. I suppose I was selfish and unwilling to be bound, which is why I had so little enthusiasm for the commercial empire that Jian Wei and Yang Congrong were about to build.
Perhaps I had once thought about striving for certain heights in life, but once I truly achieved a life free from worries about food and clothing, those desires suddenly lost their motivation. I’m a person who is content with the status quo. For me, having freedom and a girlfriend who can grant me that freedom is already enough. Therefore, I cherish my current life very much and don’t wish for my inner desires to become too intense, because I fear that after death, that tiny little urn won’t be able to contain all those desires—whether fulfilled or forever unattainable.
And in the end, what does life really leave you with? Just such a small box!
…
The ordered food was finally brought by the vendor’s wife. I used my teeth to pop open the beer cap and handed it to Mi Cai, saying, “Have a little with me.”
Mi Cai took it from me, smiled, and said, “Didn’t you just ask me to make you a glass of soy milk? How come now you’ve changed your mind and decided on beer?”
“Soy milk and beer actually mean the same thing. You’re so smart; I don’t believe you don’t understand what I mean!”
Mi Cai looked at me without indicating whether she truly understood, but she raised her beer bottle in a toast, then drank straight from the bottle without using a glass. I quickly popped open another bottle, clinked it with hers, and then gulped down the beer. At that moment, we weren’t soy milk and fried dough sticks anymore—we were beer paired with beer. But the meaning was the same: we could live the same kind of life, whether rich or poor.
My mood gradually improved, and I began chatting more, drinking while talking nonsense to Mi Cai, who kept watching me with her chin resting on her hand. This gaze contained not only the patience that should exist between lovers but also a sense of attachment. Therefore, no matter how unrestrained I seemed, she never felt annoyed. That’s just what love brings.
After drinking a bit too much, I began to complain to Mi Cai, “You know what? I really can’t accept Jian Wei and Yang Congrong’s development strategy and their positioning of the Lokr company. They’re businessmen pursuing supreme commercial interests, but I just want to build that artistic path and change some people’s lifestyles… And you know what else? My biggest wish is to have a group of like-minded people around me, sitting around a bonfire in the courtyard of my inn, drinking strong liquor, and chatting about this world that always makes people feel lonely!”
Mi Cai obviously hadn’t realized before that I had such a big disagreement with Jian Wei and Yang Congrong. After a moment of silence, she said, “You’re not wrong, and neither are they. It’s just that everyone pursues different things, but yours is somewhat unconventional.”
“But they did approve this project earlier…”
“They haven’t said they don’t approve it now, either. They just want to explore new areas… To be honest, given the resources that Jian Wei and Yang Congrong have in the industry, it’s actually a waste to have them only work on your artistic path. Their travel company, together with yours, should aim higher…”
“Is this your view as an outside observer?”
Mi Cai nodded.
My heart wavered slightly, and my desire to talk with Yang Congrong became even stronger. At this moment, I really doubted his original motives for investing. Just as Mi Cai had said, with the resources he and Jian Wei had in the industry, why would they invest in my company, which was like a blank sheet of paper, especially since I held the largest share in the entire company? What made him willingly become a green leaf to set off me?
The night grew deeper, and autumn winds began to blow coldly and fiercely. I couldn’t bear to see Mi Cai get cold, so I paid the bill, put my coat over her shoulders, and hugged her as we walked toward the alley exit. On the way, I thought of the child’s schooling and asked her, “By the way, have you helped arrange the child’s schooling?”
“I happen to have tomorrow off. Why don’t you invite Leyao to bring the child, and we can meet to discuss some details in person?”
I nodded and asked again, “Can you really handle this? A child’s education is the most important thing not to be delayed. I really hope you can help her find a reliable school.”
“Don’t worry. I have many contacts in the Education Bureau. This won’t be too difficult.”
“Then I’ll thank you on the child’s behalf first!”
Mi Cai smiled faintly and said, “How come you’re thanking me on the child’s behalf instead of Leyao’s?”
“Look at you, how petty you are!”
Mi Cai shot back, “It was you who told me not to be so aloof. So I’m being a little woman. Aren’t all little women a bit petty?”
I was momentarily speechless, just looking at her, feeling both anxious and fearful of losing her…
Mi Cai tightened her grip on my fingers, speaking to me in a tone usually reserved for children, “You must learn to be single-minded from now on, okay… because I like a devoted you!”
Almost instinctively, I nodded, and then I thought of the feeling I had during lunch with Jian Wei, which made me feel dazed. There’s no doubt that I love Mi Cai, but every time I recall my past with Jian Wei, my heart trembles… I remember clearly that all these little moments of happiness I experienced with Mi Cai today, I had experienced countless times with Jian Wei in the past. Even now, I’m still not sure exactly when I stopped loving her…
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