In the boundless night, I finally arrived again at the Slender West Lake’s Yuè Garden. After waiting for nearly ten minutes, Jian Wei arrived. She parked her car under a streetlamp but didn’t immediately come to me. Instead, she stood on an ancient-style small bridge, leaning forward to gaze at the moon reflected in the lake, and then took out her phone to capture the breathtaking, almost surreal night scenery.
I stood up from the stone bench and approached her, asking, “Where is Xiaojun?”
“She wasn’t feeling well, so I sent her to the hotel first.”
I nodded and asked again, “Have you eaten?”
“We had dinner in that county town…” Jian Wei seemed somewhat immersed in the night view here, answering my question somewhat absentmindedly, still gazing at the distant landscape lights shimmering in the lake’s center.
I followed her gaze toward the scattered lights in the lake’s center, idly playing with my lighter, trying to relax and let my weary soul rest briefly in this world of water and light.
After several minutes, Jian Wei finally turned around, leaning against the stone bridge’s railing, and said to me, “After living in the U.S. for so many years, I can’t recall any place that rivals the beauty of this night view!”
“Is that so?… Even if it’s this beautiful, underneath the lake water, there’s still foul-smelling silt and accumulated garbage.”
Jian Wei glared at me, “Can’t you say something less spoiling the mood?”
“I don’t think that’s spoiling the mood. What I mentioned already exists in this scenery; it’s just that your eyes can’t see it. Just like you… you’re so beautiful, but if you roll up your sleeve, there’s still a scar.”
Jian Wei looked composed but turned her body again, allowing me to see only her profile, then asked me, “My friends in Suzhou have already given me the information. The people who came to collect debts from Xiaojun are a long-standing illegal gambling and profit-making gang… I plan to report them to the police.”
I quickly said, “Don’t report them now…”
“Why not?”
“I plan to pay back this debt first, and then report them to the police after some time. This way, they won’t link the police report to the debt collection incident. Even if you report them now, you can’t guarantee that the entire illegal organization will be dismantled. What if the escaped members retaliate against Xiaojun and her family?”
Jian Wei looked at me in silence for a long time before speaking, “Why can you calmly consider other people’s issues so thoroughly, yet live in a state of blindness yourself for so long?”
“Am I blind?”
“Yes, many times.”
In fact, I’m not someone who is particularly obsessed with myself, so I dislike talking about myself. I changed the subject and said to Jian Wei, “I don’t have that much spare money now. You can lend me the gambling debt that Xiaojun’s father owes to those people. I will repay you.”
“That’s not a problem, but I want to know how you think about it. Xiaojun told me that you only met her a few times. Why did you risk your life to help her that day, and now you’re helping her repay this huge debt?”
“Is that so strange?… Don’t the news often report incidents where people lose their lives trying to save others! You can equate my actions to these events. There’s no need to ask for reasons or seek meaning because there are still people who believe in a crystal-clear city in the sky, different from this lake here, adorned with night scenery but filled with silt and garbage at the bottom.”
Jian Wei simply smiled, tucking her wind-blown hair behind her ear. After a long while, she said, “I really don’t know if I’ll live to see what your inner city looks like. Maybe you’re already drawing it for me now.”
As I was about to say something, my phone rang. Thinking it was a message from Mi Cai, I quickly lowered my head and took it out of my pocket, only to find it was from Robben’s assistant. The message read: “Robben’s concert titled ‘Submit to the Will of Heaven’ was very successful today. The video from the event has been sent to my email.”
I remembered that I had indeed mentioned this to Robben’s assistant before. Since I couldn’t attend the concert in person, I had asked her to send me the video recorded on-site. Eagerly anticipating the concert, I immediately downloaded the two-hour-long video from my email.
After it was downloaded, I asked Jian Wei, “Do you have earphones?”
“There are some in the car. Why do you need earphones?”
“Just now, Robben’s assistant sent me the concert video. I want to watch it now.”
Jian Wei brought a red Monster in-ear headphone, handing one earpiece to me while putting one on herself, apparently planning to listen to Robben’s concert with me.
I opened the video. The first scene was the dazzling lights and already excited audience. Then the camera switched to Robben, who was wearing a black motorcycle jacket and a white headscarf, the most eye-catching item being the black-and-white electric guitar in his hand.
Among the many instruments, I spotted a guzheng, and nodded, saying, “Robben really put effort into this concert. He always said he wanted to create reggae music with Chinese characteristics, and I didn’t expect him to perform reggae in his first official concert…”
“What is reggae music?”
“It’s a form of musical expression that emphasizes society, politics, and humanistic concern, relying on instruments to carry the main melody and rhythm. It’s a type of four-four time music… uh, it’s hard to explain clearly. You’ll understand when you watch the concert.”
Jian Wei nodded. In the video, after Robben briefly delivered his opening remarks, he began singing the first song, which was a relatively normal song he had written himself, though it was quite popular…
During the viewing, Jian Wei occasionally asked me questions about the origins of musical forms and performance characteristics, which I answered one by one. In fact, these questions were all related to Robben’s performance at the concert today. The concert was only halfway through, and he had already used various different musical expression methods to give the songs different souls. He was definitely a talented soul singer.
Another song ended, the music gradually stopped, and spotlights from different angles focused on Robben. He took a sip of water, then removed the headscarf he had worn for nearly a year, letting his hair, which had grown for almost a year, fall onto his shoulders. He exhaled deeply to relieve his fatigue and, with a deep voice, said, “Once I had a brother. We worked together on an album called ‘Fierce Will of Heaven,’ although it was never officially released. It’s been almost four years since this album was completed, so ‘Fierce Will of Heaven’ has evolved into today’s concert titled ‘Submit to the Will of Heaven.’ I really miss the time we spent making music together. The next song I’ll perform for you is one of the songs from this album, ‘Fierce – Reptiles’… Oh, by the way, my brother later went to work. Damn him for going to work! I’m really sad!”
After Robben finished speaking, he took another sip of water, and the venue was already boiling over because the guzheng, which had been unused until now, finally had someone playing it, meaning this song would incorporate the guzheng element… and I was the most shocked! Just when I was about to forget this album, Robben had actually rearranged the song we loved the most and was likely going to perform it using his personal style of reggae music.
My complex expression allowed Jian Wei to see something, and she asked me, “Is the brother Robben mentioned you?”
I lit a cigarette, took a deep puff, and then nodded. Robben’s words ignited my emotions, as if since I had given up music, I had been living in the crotch of life.
Robben began performing this song: when the lyrics I had written were sung from his mouth, my heart was trembling… I felt like I had lost something, lost it for four years…
In the video, Robben initially seemed like a wandering poet, relaxed and carefree. When he sang the line “sinking to the bottom of the water, I die,” he instantly transformed into a violent singer, his long hair swinging from his shoulders to his face, his voice shattering into pieces… The dense drumbeats and the sounds from the guzheng led all the instruments forward like a flood… The scene was too shocking!
When a wandering poet transformed into a violent singer in the blink of an eye, not only did the audience go wild, but even Jian Wei and I, watching the recording later, were deeply shocked!
An even more shocking scene occurred. In a state of losing control, Robben held the upper part of his guitar and slammed it onto the ground, once, twice, three times… The flying guitar pieces caused the band members behind him to cover their faces and dodge… Only the guzheng player, who was farthest away, continued playing!
The venue erupted in deafening cheers. I couldn’t bear the suffocating feeling anymore and turned off the video. My fingertips holding the cigarette were slightly trembling… After a long while, Jian Wei beside me looked at me and asked, “Aren’t musicians supposed to regard their instruments as their lives? Isn’t his act of smashing the guitar disrespectful to music?”
I took another deep puff of my cigarette and replied, “You don’t understand. Robben isn’t a humanistic rock singer. What he expresses isn’t warm storytelling, but violent catharsis. This is a loss of control after rational thinking, precisely embodying the free spirit of rock… He will become the new patriarch of the rock world, not because he smashed a guitar, because he will only smash one guitar in his entire life…”
“How is it? Was there any story behind the creation of this song?”
I remained silent for a long time before replying, “Not really a story, just a promise between us…”
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