It was already 8 PM when I left the company. I met Weiran at half past eight, and by the time we finished drinking together, it was nearly 11 PM. So when I finally picked up the phone call, Mi Cai, as expected, asked me, “Have you rested yet?”
I stopped walking, sat back down on the curb, lit a cigarette, and then replied, “Still outside.”
“Do you have something to attend to tonight?”
“Just overtime work… and then I had some drinks with Weiran.”
Mi Cai sounded surprised, somewhat uncertainly asking, “You were with Weiran?”
“Yeah, we ran into each other downstairs from Zhuomei, so we went and had a few drinks together…”
Mi Cai is a smart woman. I’m sure she already understood the motives that had brought Weiran and me to stand downstairs from Zhuomei, and after a brief silence, she asked me, “Is he doing okay?”
I countered, “You’ve spent so much time with him—what do you think he’s like when facing a crisis and dealing with it?”
“He’s never really experienced any setbacks in his life. With such a serious business crisis, he must be filled with a sense of failure!”
“You must have tried to advise him before, right?”
“Of course I did, but he’s always been so stubborn and overly trusting of theoretical ideas. But the business world is like a battlefield—no company can survive or develop merely by talking strategy without action.”
“People always have to pay the price for their own mistakes…”
Mi Cai sighed softly and then fell silent. I lit another cigarette, sitting there and gazing at the towering buildings made of steel and concrete, gently wrapped in neon lights, like upside-down smiling faces. I became lost in thought, letting the cold wind whistle past me.
“It’s so cold outside. You should go back and rest early,” Mi Cai finally spoke, ending the call.
“Don’t hang up… Just listening to your breathing makes me feel comfortable… I don’t want to go back yet.”
So we remained silent on the phone together, but not idle. At least I was still smoking, listening to her breathing, growing increasingly clear-headed in the cold wind, while she might have been dealing with some urgent documents. Whether or not she had work to do didn’t really matter—what mattered was that we were still connected because of this call.
Finally, I flicked the ash from my cigarette and said to her, “Tomorrow I have to go back to Xuzhou.”
“To visit your parents?”
“Yeah, mainly to check out the house I bought, and also take a look at the bar and guesthouse there that are already in operation.”
“You bought a house in Xuzhou?”
“Yeah, it was all handled by Bada and me. They wanted me to have a home in Xuzhou so I could settle down… Do you remember the last time you and I went to Xuzhou? You once mentioned by a small river that you actually quite liked it there…”
“I remember.”
I wanted to say something else, but my lips trembled. Eventually, I swallowed my words, smiled, and said, “So, buying a house at home isn’t a bad idea either. We can often come back to Xuzhou in the future and have a place to stay… By the way, come back earlier!”
Mi Cai chuckled and replied, “I want to go back too, but I still need to stay here for a while until the results come out. Besides, aren’t you quite busy back in China anyway?”
I knew Mi Cai wasn’t questioning me, but rather teasing in the way lovers often do. Still, her words made me a little uneasy. I remembered vividly how last night I had been with Leyao, doing something that lovers would long for but friends should never do. So I stammered slightly and said to Mi Cai, “How could I not feel lonely… I feel lonely every single day!”
Mi Cai misunderstood, thinking the wind had made my voice tremble, so she urged me, “Go back quickly. I can hear how cold it is just from the wind noise. I’ll call you again once you get home.”
“You focus on work. No need to call me. I’ll go back now.”
“Okay then, I’ll get back to work. When you get home, remember to drink more hot water.”
Her voice was so soft and tender that I instantly wished she were right here beside me, so I could hold her tightly, find a quiet sky together amidst the howling wind, and escape from this land filled with taboos and absurdities.
…
The next day, I took an early train from Suzhou to Xuzhou. Bada had called me last minute asking me to come back and check the house, so this trip was quite sudden. According to my original plan, I would only stay in Xuzhou for a day and return to Suzhou the next morning to assist Fangyuan in launching the Christmas event planning. Yes, although I wasn’t an official member of Zhuomei, I was perhaps the one who most eagerly anticipated this Christmas event achieving a historic breakthrough. This wouldn’t only help Mi Cai feel better, but also stabilize Zhuomei’s foundation, showing the outside world that even if the IPO failed, even if we faced an investor crisis, Zhuomei could still maintain strong vitality. This was also the fundamental basis for any future development.
In the afternoon, I finally returned to the long-missed Xuzhou. Thinking about it, this city that raised me, I only returned a handful of times each year—easily counted on one hand. This indirectly proved how often I neglected my family! Yet how did my Bada and Mom, who regarded me as their only child, feel about my neglect? They must have swallowed their bitterness silently, yet still tried every opportunity to hope I would come home. For example, this house viewing—actually, they had already paid the down payment. Whether I came to see it or not made no difference.
After getting home and having a simple lunch, I walked with Mom and Bada toward the residential community where I had bought the house. It was only two stops away from our home. If I could settle down in Xuzhou in the future, that would probably be the most cherished wish of Bada and Mom. If time rewound a year, when I still had a fiancée named Li Xiaoyun, that would have been the perfect ending in Mom and Bada’s eyes. But I made the harshest decision for myself, abandoning that comfort. However, I don’t regret it, really don’t regret it… I just feel guilty.
My new house was 128 square meters. When Bada took out the key and opened the door, the moment I stepped inside, everything suddenly felt bright and open. During all these years of wandering outside, I had never lived in such a large place. I was so captivated that I didn’t snap out of it until Bada asked me whether I liked the layout and how I wanted to decorate it. Then I began discussing it with him. Throughout the entire time, Mom didn’t say much, obviously still upset about Li Xiaoyun soon marrying someone else. This made me feel heavy inside, so much so that my conversation with Bada became mechanical and stiff.
After viewing the house, I went to check out the guesthouse, bar, and coffee shop that Luko had invested in here in Xuzhou. By the time I fully understood the operating conditions here, it was already dusk. I wandered alone on the street and happened to run into Li Xiaoyun, who had just finished work, while passing by the advertising company where I once briefly worked. I swear it was just a coincidence, because this advertising company was on my usual route home. Of course, if I had taken a bus, a taxi, or driven Bada’s car, I wouldn’t have met her. But I had chosen to walk, so it could only be considered fate’s arrangement, giving me the opportunity to personally wish Li Xiaoyun “Congratulations on your upcoming wedding,” even though it might still be a bit premature…
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