The hot water sprayed out in the hotel bathroom, soaking my entire body. After freezing all night, I finally felt some warmth at this moment. Perhaps as the saying goes, when God closes a door, He also opens another. Because of Mi Cai’s unexpected return, I didn’t end up taking my own life that night.
After cleaning myself up, I walked out of the bathroom wearing a bathrobe, but couldn’t see Mi Cai anywhere. Instantly overwhelmed by uncontrollable anxiety, I threw my smelly coat over the bathrobe without thinking twice, then ran out of the room to the reception desk. Without bothering with polite formalities, I asked nervously, “Where did the guest from room 606 go? She’s a woman, very pretty.”
The female receptionist was visibly startled by my behavior. After hesitating for a moment, she finally spoke more clearly: “I saw her leave about twenty minutes ago.”
“Where did she go?”
The receptionist stared at me with wide eyes, clearly trying hard to figure out where Mi Cai might have gone under my influence. After a while, she innocently replied, “Sir, how would the guest tell us where she’s going? You should call her.”
I finally regained some composure and apologized repeatedly: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I was just too anxious.”
Trying to comfort me, the receptionist said, “Sir, don’t be too anxious. She might just have an urgent matter to attend to.”
“You saying that makes me even more anxious. She came here specifically to find me. What urgent matter could she possibly have?”
The receptionist looked confused and said, “Sir, I really don’t dare to try to comfort you anymore…”
I didn’t know if it was because Mi Cai had given me too little sense of security, but I was terrified that she might leave me. Standing there like a lost soul, I kept looking at the elevator going up and down, and then back at the room, my heart rising to my throat. I completely lost my composure and didn’t know what to do.
The elevator stopped at the sixth floor, and then I saw Mi Cai walking out carrying a shopping bag. She was wearing only ordinary jeans and a pullover hoodie, with her hair braided. Her face looked even fresher and less aloof. Approaching me, she looked at my strange outfit and asked, “Why are you dressed like this?”
The receptionist, who seemed even more nervous than me, quickly answered for me: “Miss, this gentleman thought you had left without saying goodbye. He was too anxious and probably rushed out in a hurry.”
Mi Cai took my hand and softly said, “I went out to buy you some clean clothes. Your clothes are no longer wearable. I’ll take them to the dry cleaner for you later.”
That night, I was both happy and pitiful. My mood had gone through so many emotional ups and downs that while silently looking at her, I finally felt that after being alone for so many years, I had finally become someone with a family—someone who was being cared for and cherished by a beloved person.
The receptionist sighed, “Sir, Madam, you two are truly affectionate!”
…
Back in the hotel room, I closed the door with one hand and immediately pulled her onto the bed, lying on top of her. There was no distance left between us. Her body emitted a fragrant aroma that intoxicated me even more than alcohol. With one hand pulling at her coat and the other unfastening her belt, I wanted to make her completely mine that night, leaving my mark on her body.
I had unbuttoned many clothes and belts before, but at that moment, I was incredibly clumsy, especially with her pullover hoodie. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get it off. Breathing heavily, I asked, “Does this hoodie have buttons? I can’t get it open.”
Mi Cai was breathing even harder than me: “On the side…”
“What kind of style is this!!”
I finally managed to take off her hoodie, but underneath she was still wearing a sweater, and I hadn’t even undone her belt yet. I couldn’t wait another second. Giving up on her clothes and belt, I grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her passionately…
After turning off the light, I finally entered her body. We merged together, her nails digging deeply into my flesh, yet she held me even tighter. We were breathless—during that breathlessness, I felt her tears. I didn’t know if they were from pain or difficulty adapting to this transformation, but she was truly mine now.
…
Inside the room, only a dim bedside lamp was on. She rested her head on my left arm while I smoked… I felt even more uncertain whether what we were experiencing at that moment was real or just an illusion. Time seemed to turn into smoke, flowing away without any sense of existence. Until she lifted the necklace hanging from my chest and curiously asked, “Why does your necklace look like a sail?”
“I want to take the one I love, riding the waves, to a colorful dream-filled dock… I call that dock home. Every evening, sitting under grapevines, watching your dancing steps, watching the tides and sunset…”
“Is this the romantic dream of a small rogue?”
Overcome by happiness, I stammered, “Without feeling this sense of fulfillment right now, I wouldn’t have been able to imagine such a poetic scene… All of this was given to me by you. All the beauty in my life comes from you. This time, I’m not lying or bragging!”
“Thinking about all the people still rushing outside the window, I also feel how fortunate we are now… I can’t speak poetically like you, but please don’t look down on me.”
I pulled her closer: “You’re always busy battling in the business world, where would you have time for literary pursuits? People like me, who have too much free time, are the ones who idly ponder and write those overly sentimental lyrics, pulling them out only when needed to express emotions.”
She pulled the blanket we were sharing up higher and asked, “Has our ship already docked at that colorful dream-filled harbor?”
“I’m not that amazing, am I? To hit it in one try!”
“What are you talking about?”
“I meant that harbor is our home… and a home can’t be complete without our children. So the ship docked at the harbor symbolizes your pregnancy… Only then can we have a complete family.”
Mi Cai remained silent…
I anxiously asked, “Did I say something wrong?”
“Zhao Yang, I don’t want children right now…”
“Why? With our current financial situation, having as many children as we want wouldn’t be a burden at all… If it’s a boy, I’ll teach him to play the guitar; if it’s a girl, you can teach her to draw. Isn’t that nice?”
“But everything at Zhuo Mei is still uncertain… I don’t have the energy to take care of children right now. Can we wait a bit longer?”
This was the first time Mi Cai and I had lain together in the same bed, and I had already expressed my desire to have children, which indeed seemed too hasty. Finally, after a long silence, I said to her, “I was too impatient. I just feel that both of us have been drifting like rootless duckweeds for too long… Only when we have a home can our hearts find peace!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizing… As long as we’re together, we’ll eventually have everything we want. It’s only a matter of time.”
“Right.”
I kissed her face and smiled as I asked, “When was your last period?”
“Just ended a few days ago.”
“Don’t worry then. Our ship hasn’t yet docked at that harbor…”
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