Seeing the word “breakup” mentioned again in front of Jian Wei, my emotions seemed to find an outlet. I could even feel my trembling body, pouring all my grievances, anger, nostalgia, and sorrow into my gaze, sharply piercing Jian Wei, who was equally grief-stricken.
The room was filled with my unwilling breathing and her quiet sobs… while time quietly flowed, mercilessly tearing open all our wounds. Each drop of blood that fell was a piece of our youthful days, entangled with love, hate, and emotional grudges.
A surge of emotion compelled me to scream again: “Say it… why do you love me, yet tell me to break up… Do you know, your single word ‘breakup’ turned my world into hell, making me live in agony all these years… agonizingly!!”
I touched my wound again, feeling my blood seemingly flowing backward. My eyes ached painfully, and I could no longer control myself, crying out in heart-wrenching sobs.
She tightly embraced me: “I’m sorry… sorry, it’s all my fault… I have no right to blame you!! Let’s stop exploring the past… Perhaps, giving you up is my greatest redemption… I will wish you happiness with Mi Cai. From now on, I will never let you feel any emotional difficulty again… I will accept Xiang Chen’s proposal. Let’s bury this period in our memories, letting time… fade it away!”
In my pain, I clearly sensed this was her farewell to me… but had I really been liberated?… I didn’t know. I only felt increasingly that this pain was so real. If, back then, I hadn’t insisted on dragging Mi Cai to appear before Jian Wei as a fake couple, what might have happened instead?
Perhaps this is the most authentic fate… letting us clearly perceive what it means to have loved… and missed!!
I gradually accepted my fate. Investigating the truth of the breakup again would only bring me pain. I certainly wouldn’t leave Mi Cai at this moment. I know that past love is hard to retrieve, even though it was broader than the sea, brighter than sunlight, more delicate than flowers, the word “past” has already dulled everything. Right now, Jian Wei and I already stood under a dull sunset, watching our past passion and beauty peeling away from our bodies one by one… I could only wish her and Xiang Chen happiness in their new marriage.
Finally, I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand, but had no strength to feign a smile. I just pushed Jian Wei away and said: “I will wish you happiness as you have wished me. I wish you and Xiang Chen happiness. All we’ve experienced is destined to be unforgettable in our lives, but this kind of remembrance is only about faces, words we’ve spoken together, things we’ve done. It has nothing to do with love… and after experiencing so much over these years, you and I should have already realized how real the regrets and flaws in life are, but we still instinctively try to be masters of life… So please forget, please be happy!”
Jian Wei closed her eyes, sobbing, then nodded… Finally, I left this place as her world turned pitch black, chasing another beacon glowing with lights in my life.
…
After leaving Jian Wei’s residence, I finally breathed in the fresh yet cold outdoor air. My heart still ached with every breath. Tonight, I learned there is another kind of love in this world, one that has to be given up, because I had already deeply experienced it.
Surviving in this harsh world, I dare not ask for too much. If I can reach the end of life with Mi Cai, I am already satisfied. Just as Jian Wei and I had agreed, in the rest of our lives, what we would remember about each other are only faces and names, then we would live our own lives well.
It seemed as if I suddenly let go, and missed Mi Cai, who was still in Yangzhou. Unable to control myself any longer, I took out my phone from my pocket and dialed her number.
She answered my call shortly after, with some apology: “I’ve already seen your message, but I’ve been having dinner with the board members of Tianyang Group from just now…”
Before she could finish, I couldn’t help but whisper, yet firmly say: “I love you… truly love you!”
On the other end of the phone was silence, as if she was immersed in the emotions I had brought her…
“I’ll come find you, go to Yangzhou to find you now… okay?”
“No, it’s too late. Driving after a day’s work is dangerous, I’m worried about you.”
“It’s not late at all, I can see you before 12 o’clock… I want to see you, I don’t care about any danger.”
After a moment of silence, Mi Cai said: “Be good and stay in Suzhou, I’ll rush back after finishing dinner… Do you hear me?”
“Don’t go anywhere else, wait for me in Yangzhou, I’m coming now.” I said and hung up the phone, then reached out to hail a taxi, preparing to go back to the company to get my car and head to Yangzhou immediately. I wished I could see her the next second. This feeling made me forget the fatigue and fear of driving at night. I believed I could definitely arrive there safely.
…
After picking up my car from the company, I turned on the navigation and set the destination to the Welcome Hotel in Yangzhou. However, before I had even left the outskirts of this city, I received a call from Chen Jingming. He said he wanted to talk with me, and I politely declined. He then told me it was something important and wouldn’t take long. Worried about delaying the main matter, I turned the car around and drove back into the city, my heart constantly calculating whether I could arrive in Yangzhou before midnight.
Ten minutes later, I arrived at the teahouse where I had agreed to meet Chen Jingming. By then, he was already waiting for me in his car. I parked the car steadily and directly opened the door to sit inside, saying to him: “Director Chen, if you have anything to say, just say it here. I really am in a rush!”
My urgency made Chen Jingming not speak much, but he got straight to the point and asked: “Zhaoyang, do you still trust me, your old supervisor? Do you believe that I am solely for the sake of Director Mi, hoping she can uphold Zhuomei in place of her late father?”
This was a difficult question for me. But since it was a significant matter, it was not the time to consider saving face. With a heavy expression, I asked him: “Director Chen, let me ask you straightforwardly—why are you so loyal to Mi Cai? Especially in the business world, it’s hard for me to believe in absolute loyalty!”
Chen Jingming lit a cigarette, took a deep puff, and then said: “I sympathize with Director Mi’s background, because I am also a parent. At Zhuomei, I have seen her exhausted from work more than once, and I have also seen her sitting in her office looking at Chairman Mi Zhongxin’s photo, her eyes red, wanting to cry but holding back…”
Because of what Chen Jingming told me, I felt a deep pain in my heart. I could never betray her in this life… I raised my head and exhaled heavily, then spoke to Chen Jingming again: “Director Chen, please give me a more convincing reason. I don’t believe that sympathy alone is worth giving up the pursuit of desire in human nature.”
Chen Jingming took another deep puff of his cigarette, closed his eyes for a long time before saying: “Indeed, just sympathy is not enough to give up the pursuit of desire… Besides sympathy, I am even more grateful to her, grateful for her help to me.”
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