When the woman in red and I arrived in Suzhou, the sky was still glowing with the last light of the setting sun, casting a red glow over the entire land. Even the city itself seemed to have transformed into a shy bride wearing a red veil, hiding her thoughts beneath it, secretly thinking them over again and again. So I could see even less clearly what might happen in this city tomorrow, the day after, or even further into the future. But this city is so vast, it surely won’t lack love and hate, separation and sorrow, worries and troubles, easily drowning out even the slightest joy that was hard to come by.
I escorted the woman in red to the hotel I had booked in advance. Just before parting, I asked her, “What would you like to eat tonight? I can go ahead and reserve a table.”
“No need to be so formal. I have other plans tonight.”
“What plans?”
“Plans that have absolutely nothing to do with you…”
I glared at her and said, “You say we sometimes clash, but whose fault is that really? Take this instance for example. I invited you out of goodwill to dinner, and it’s fine that you declined. I’m concerned about your personal safety, so I asked what your plans were. But you had to go and throw in a completely unnecessary jab at me!”
The woman in red felt somewhat guilty from my righteous indignation and finally replied after a pause, “Just assume I’ve entered early menopause!”
Actually, I truly understood that her aggressive personality stemmed from unhappiness in her life. When a beautiful woman self-deprecatingly mentions early menopause, it is a sorrowful sight to behold. I quickly reflected on myself and said, “It’s partly my fault too. Sometimes I really am the kind of person who goes looking for trouble!”
The woman in red finally softened her tone and said, “Actually, I just don’t want to be a third wheel following you and Mi Zong around. As for Suzhou, I also have some memories here. Sometimes visiting a certain place alone and recalling what happened there may help me make some right decisions…”
“Those memories must be related to that phony, high-flying guy, right?”
The woman in red looked coldly at me again and said, “Only I am allowed to call him phony and high-flying. No one else, including you, is allowed to say that!”
I looked at her, her arrogance and authoritarianism left me speechless once again. I couldn’t help but compare her to Mi Cai. I didn’t know whether Mi Cai would defend me in the same way in some scenes I couldn’t see.
In fact, such superficial comparisons are not very meaningful. After all, Mi Cai is Mi Cai, and the woman in red is the woman in red. Different experiences and backgrounds naturally result in completely different personalities. What I should pursue is to discover the shining aspects of human nature.
I am the same. Perhaps in this world, many of my peers might consider me a man who cannot withstand scrutiny, but I know and abide by the law, strive to pursue my dreams and my preferred lifestyle, and have never forgotten to help those around me in need. Therefore, I believe my persistence is something I can be proud of. Those criticisms are nothing more than abstract chatter to me. I have no intention of paying attention to those who can’t manage their own lives yet always like to pretend to be public intellectuals and question others’ ways of existence!
And the reason I can be so calm is because one day, these people will be knocked down by life, lose their public intellectual facade, look back, and realize how inadequate they once were. They will regret ever having the audacity to criticize others based on their limited understanding.
…
The sunset radiated its final glow, danced for a moment on the eaves of the hotel, and then disappeared somewhere beyond my sight. At the same time, the woman in red took the car keys from me, opened the car door, started the engine, and perhaps drove off to that place filled with her memories.
Left alone and temporarily unable to catch a taxi, I sat on the curb beside the hotel smoking, watching one successful person after another, accompanied by beautiful women, entering and exiting the five-star hotel. Yet who could be sure that those beautiful women were their legally wedded wives? It seemed that their material success had given them the ability to blend lust and love, until gradually their lives no longer needed love. They only needed to superficially rub against those women’s bodies, and ignorantly thought this was a form of pursuit and enjoyment.
Compared to these people, I still had the confidence to pat my chest and say that I am now fulfilled and happy!
I used this time while waiting for Mi Cai to pick me up to think about many trivial aspects of life… Thus, I became even more determined to become a reliable man, forget my past self, and properly manage my future family… I believe heaven will surely grant my wish, because my current intentions are truly sincere!
The sky had completely darkened, and I could no longer see whether the distant road was straight or curved. Finally, Mi Cai arrived beside me in that Audi Q7 I hadn’t seen in a long time.
As she stepped out of the car, the successful men around seemed to no longer find the beautiful women beside them so attractive. They turned their gazes toward Mi Cai. However, Mi Cai gave them her back and faced me, pulling two movie tickets from her handbag and saying, “Later, after dinner, let’s go watch a movie together.”
“What time is the movie? I also want to go get a haircut first.”
Mi Cai glanced at the tickets in her hand and smiled, “The movie doesn’t start until 9:10. We’ll definitely have time.”
Before getting into the car, I asked her again, “How come you have so much time tonight? I never imagined we’d have the chance to watch a movie together this year!”
Mi Cai looked slightly apologetic and said, “Besides living together, there are many other ways for us to feel like we’re in a romantic relationship. We still have a lifetime to live together!”
“Yes, we both need to make time to do things that will leave lasting memories for each other!”
As soon as I finished speaking, I felt I had used the wrong word. I shouldn’t have said “memories”… Perhaps “reminiscing” would be more appropriate, because I never intended to recall everything we’ve experienced alone. When two people who won’t separate reminisce about the past together, that is true happiness and joy!
…
In the hair salon, Mi Cai sat beside me getting a hair treatment, but her eyes kept glancing toward me. She occasionally gave suggestions to the stylist, telling him what kind of hairstyle would suit my clothing style better. The stylist nodded repeatedly, praising Mi Cai’s sense of aesthetics and envying me for having such a considerate girlfriend. This gave me a great sense of fulfillment. Perhaps not long from now, we could often live like this: getting our hair done together, watching movies together, shopping together, and buying essential household items!
After watching the movie, it was already 11 p.m., but Mi Cai didn’t seem ready to rest. We walked together to the square that held many of our past memories. When we got tired, we sat down on a bench by a tree. Worried she might be cold, I pulled her onto my lap. She was no longer as reserved in front of me as she used to be. She took off her high heels and started pressing acupoints to relieve fatigue and pain.
At that moment, I took out a cigarette from my pocket, placed it in my mouth, and smoked contentedly… Tilting my head back, I exhaled the smoke and looked up at the sky, which seemed so desolate. Yet its desolation only highlighted my happiness, because the person I loved most was right in my arms. So, whatever form the world took, I had no interest in paying attention. I only wished time would slow down a little.
Finally, she said to me, “Zhaoyang, by this time tomorrow, Zhuo Mei will probably have confirmed the new investor!”
I sighed deeply and replied after a long pause, “…So much has happened repeatedly over this past year, and finally it will all be settled tomorrow!”
“Mm.”
I held her and turned her to face me, smiling as I asked, “Nervous?”
“It would be a lie to say I’m not nervous at all… I just hope nothing unexpected happens!”
The concern in her expression was so genuine that I quickly comforted her, “Don’t worry, nothing unexpected will happen… After all, Sky Group and Mr. An are very reliable. Right now, Zhuo Mei is desperate to find a strong partner like Sky Group. I think they must understand that only by finding a way forward for Zhuo Mei can they find their own way forward. All those internal conflicts should be put aside now.”
Mi Cai nodded, but her entire demeanor didn’t fully relax. I could understand this, after all, she was just a woman. After the failure of Zhuo Mei’s stock listing, she would face unprecedented pressure, making her even more anxious about this decisive day tomorrow.
Trying to distract her, I asked about CC. If there was anyone among our friends that CC might still be thinking about, it would definitely be Mi Cai. Perhaps they still had private contact. I asked, “By the way, since CC left, has she really never contacted you again?”
My question successfully distracted Mi Cai. The tension on her face disappeared, replaced by confusion. After a long pause, she shook her head to indicate that CC had not contacted her.
I sighed softly…
Mi Cai’s expression also turned serious as she softly said, “I know CC. She won’t let any of us know anything about her again…”
A deep sense of disappointment filled my heart: “Yes… she won’t come back. But whenever I think about CC and Ruben, two people who deeply missed each other, missing each other for a lifetime in such a regretful way, I feel heartbroken. Their lives shouldn’t have turned out this way… But why did Ruben have to be so stubborn, choosing to wander alone to America instead of looking for her? And why was CC so stubborn too? Never once looking back. Maybe if she had just turned her head once, she and Ruben would have… Ah!”
Mi Cai looked thoughtfully into the distance…
I followed her gaze, looking into the distance too…
Once again, on this melancholy night, we felt sorrow… But we truly missed Ruben and CC deeply. Back when they were in Suzhou, even in the most painful times, we could still find some comfort in them. Now that they are gone too, I fear even more the pain I might face in the days to come, because there will no longer be anyone to share my sorrows with!
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