After leaving the moat, I didn’t go to the office. Instead, I went to the vegetable market and bought some fresh vegetables while the morning market was still active. It seemed that since last night, I had transformed into someone who pays attention to the details of life. Before heading to Huifang Restaurant, I wanted to prepare a hearty lunch for Mi Cai first.
Mi Cai and I had been living together for a long time. I knew her taste in food and the dishes she liked, so I bought mostly what she enjoyed eating. At this moment, she needed my considerate care in daily life.
When I returned to our place, Mi Cai had already gotten up. She had cleaned the house thoroughly, washed our dirty clothes, and hung them in the sunniest spot on the balcony, swaying in the breeze.
I placed the vegetables I had bought into the kitchen and then washed the bed sheets, pillowcases, and blankets together with her. Afterward, we sat on the sofa, relieved and catching our breath. After such a busy morning, we were both a bit tired, as it had been a long time since we last did so much housework.
Although I was curious why she hadn’t gone to Zhuomei, I didn’t ask her, not wanting to touch upon any sensitive topics. Instead, she asked me, “Why did you come back so early?”
“I didn’t go to the office… I went to see Jian Wei! We don’t have any disagreements anymore; she has agreed to my leaving Lukoo. Lukoo has given me so much already, so I don’t want to take anything with me or put any financial pressure on it. I hope it can develop better. So, just like you, I will soon have almost nothing left!”
Mi Cai looked somewhat pensive and asked me with a complex expression, “Will you regret giving up Lukoo? Perhaps you won’t have another opportunity like this in your life again!”
I shook my head, “No regrets… I had wanted to leave Lukoo a long time ago, but there were too many ties holding me back, so I never had the determination to do so. This time, I decided not to think about anything else and just leave, just like you… Actually, returning to Xuzhou isn’t so bad. Ban Die is about to retire, and he has worked hard for me all his life, just hoping to have someone to rely on in his old age. I have been wandering for so many years. It’s time for me to fulfill my filial duty!”
“Uh-huh…”
I looked around this old house that had changed my life and finally asked Mi Cai, “We’re going back to Xuzhou soon. What do you plan to do with this old house?”
“Let’s keep it. Then, if we ever want to come back to Suzhou, we’ll have a place to stay.”
I nodded in agreement, believing that we should keep the house because it was very significant. It had sheltered me when I was down and out and had given me the opportunity to meet Mi Cai. My life in recent years seemed to have been shaped by this house.
Mi Cai also asked me a question, “Zhaoyang, do you know what we will have left when we return to Xuzhou?”
“You and me, and then some money… Probably also your car. I liked it the moment I first saw it.”
“Except for myself, everything else is company property… And that villa my uncle gave me, I can’t take it with me. Zhaoyang, are you still willing to leave with someone who has nothing? Maybe for a long time, I will become a financial burden to you.”
“All I want is you… I don’t plan to ask for much more. At worst, we can start over. I believe that as long as we are together, there’s no obstacle we can’t overcome… Come here and hug me, feel how safe my body can be.”
“Arrogant!” Mi Cai smiled, still hooking her arm with mine and leaning into my arms, closing her eyes as if truly trying to feel the sense of security from me. Indeed, I had changed a lot because of her over the past year.
If I had still been in those wild and unrestrained days of my life, I probably would have gone to Fang Yuan in an extreme way to demand an explanation. Perhaps this is what is called maturity. Now I clearly understand: only by protecting myself first can I truly protect Mi Cai. I can’t always be driven by impulse and live on the edge of the law.
Or perhaps, even if things have come to this point, I can’t possibly destroy everything with Fang Yuan, because Yan Yan is innocent, and so is Mi Cai. If this matter really needs a resolution, it should be settled by business principles… However, I have long lost interest in competing for anything, as I yearn for an ordinary life, and what Fang Yuan now possesses is not what I desire!
She seemed to be enjoying the sense of security from me. After a while, she spoke to me again, “Zhaoyang, An from Tianyang Group has invited us to dinner tonight. Come back early after work. Although we didn’t reach a cooperation with Tianyang Group this time, An has helped us a lot, and we should thank her.”
“Okay, I’ll leave work early tonight and treat her to dinner.”
…
After having an early lunch with Mi Cai, I drove towards Huifang Restaurant, a small eatery quite close to Zhuomei Shopping and Baoli Department Store, yet hidden in a small alley. Over the past few years, Fang Yuan and I had countless times used this place as our lunch spot for work. But this time, I didn’t know whether he would come. The reason I chose to meet him here was to see if he still remembered who he used to be and whether he could take off his wolf’s disguise to have a sincere conversation with me without pretense.
The owner of Huifang Restaurant was still standing at the entrance calling out to passing customers. Perhaps since our last meeting, she truly thought I wouldn’t come back. When I appeared before her, she was very surprised and stopped calling out to customers, asking me in confusion, “Are you here to eat, young man?”
I shook my head, “Not today. I just want to borrow this restaurant to sit for a while…” As I spoke, I took out a hundred yuan from my wallet and handed it to her, adding, “For two people. Just prepare some hot tea for us.”
Perhaps noticing my solemn expression, the owner didn’t ask anything else or accept the hundred yuan I offered. She led me to a small table and let me sit down. I instinctively looked around the place. Everything was the same as before, but after today, I truly would never come here again. I no longer needed to indulge in nostalgia or talk about brotherhood here.
I sent another message to Fang Yuan, informing him that I had already arrived, and then sat in the familiar corner, waiting…
Huifang Restaurant had a feature, or rather, every restaurant in this alley had this feature. The young people who had just started working in the surrounding office buildings always called each other brothers and liked to come here for lunch. They were full of aspirations and fearless, so you could always hear their loud talking and the sound of beer bottles clinking together even in the cold weather. Indeed, in the long history of this alley, it had produced the CEO of a listed company and several top-level professional managers… Sometimes, they would come back here to reminisce about their old camaraderie. Fang Yuan and I were originally supposed to become part of this group of people, but all of us were eventually lost in the greed of human nature, and everything eventually faded away!
Time passed minute by minute, but Fang Yuan still hadn’t arrived. I checked my watch and realized that it was already nearly ten minutes past Zhuomei’s quitting time. His absence finally made me feel anxious, but I still controlled myself, enduring the wait with patience…
At that moment, I finally heard the owner’s voice as she spoke to Fang Yuan, “Why did you come? You’re standing outside smoking? This isn’t some fancy restaurant that bans smoking. Hurry inside. Zhaoyang has been waiting for you for quite a while!”
“It’s okay, I’ll finish this cigarette first.”
I also needed a cigarette to face the death of ten years of brotherhood, which had been killed by human greed. So I lit one too, and we each smoked, he outside and I inside, in two places that were close but belonged to different camps…
Halfway through my cigarette, he finally walked into the restaurant. He instinctively loosened his tie and sat down opposite me. I tilted my head back, took a deep drag from my cigarette, and then exhaled it heavily, crushing the butt under my foot. I didn’t want to waste any words on irrelevant topics and asked, “The path you chose to walk out today was the one you selected half a year ago… These past six months…” I shook my head with a bitter smile, clenching my teeth, “These six months, you’ve been acting like a coward, telling lies, and doing fake things… How did you manage to endure it? And what made you face me without any sense of guilt, calling me ‘brother’ left and right… Thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach!”
Fang Yuan lit another cigarette. The wedding ring on the ring finger of his left hand was particularly noticeable. He didn’t lift his head until almost finishing the cigarette, then looked at me and said, “I can call you brother because I’ve always regarded you as my brother, and that has never changed… But I have my taboos, just like you have yours. We are the same kind of people, living to escape our taboos… Only our taboos are not entirely the same… Do you understand the pain of being restricted?… You must understand, because you’ve struggled much more than I have.”
My taboos arise from the absurdity of this world, but yours stem from ugly desires… Fang Yuan, you are unworthy of uttering the word ‘brother,’ and you do not even deserve to be called a human being! Because you have no bottom line and no moral restraints!
“If you invited me here just to say these things… then go ahead and say them all, or if you think saying them can change anything, I’d rather you speak your heart out!”
In anguish and frustration, I cursed, “You’re just a sick man… a despicable person!”
Fang Yuan smiled, lowered his head, finished his cigarette without raising it again, and replied, “The end of life is definitely death… I just want to live a better life before this end comes. This is my position, and I must live for this position, or I won’t find any sense of security in life. Life is too fragile…!”
“Fine… That’s your position. Then tell me, after shamelessly defending your position, what have you gained from Zhuomei?… Is even Yan Yan, your faithful wife, a victim of your shamelessness? Next, are you going to place Mi Lan, a woman as dirty as you, in a position equal to Yan Yan’s in your life? Or even higher?”
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