When I mentioned Yan Yan and Mi Lan, the two women, at the same time, it was as if two bullets had been fired at him, one of which he could never dodge. It was as though a bullet had pierced his chest, and he lowered his head in silence… The more silent he became, the closer I approached the truth.
I recalled the scene several months ago when Mi Cai wanted to remove him from Zhuo Mei, and Mi Lan came to find me. Mi Lan had deep feelings for him, and now his position is based on Mi Lan’s great success at Zhuo Mei. Therefore, his choice must also include Mi Lan; otherwise, what he gains will be far from enough… He has completely deviated!
“Fan Yuan, you’ve built your scheme on lies, and now you’ve succeeded. At this point, what truth can’t you reveal anymore?… Have you been maintaining a dirty, improper relationship with Mi Lan all along? Was your success because you both exploited the weaknesses in my and Mi Cai’s humanity?”
Fan Yuan finally raised his head and looked at me. After a long silence, he said, “Yes, Mi Cai is a meticulous woman. She saw through some things and wanted to act according to her own will, but she couldn’t because you are her weakness. Mi Lan isn’t particularly clever, but she knows that her sister has little emotional experience, so losing you would be a painful thing for her. And because of her father Mi Zhongxin’s passing, she fears loss more than others, so she compromised for you again and again, striving to become less foolish for you. Using this weakness, we both wanted to ensure you and her would never separate. As long as your relationship remained, she and Weiran would never unite completely, always maintaining a distant yet close relationship, leaving us many opportunities…”
He paused, then continued, “Zhao Yang, it may seem like Mi Cai has always been in control of you, but in reality, you are the one manipulating her… And your weakness is being overly idealistic. You seem like you can let go of everything, but in truth, you can’t let go of anything. So you hoped Mi Cai would be your perfect lover, and me your lifelong brother… When these two conflict, your idealism kicks in again, so you always try to find a balance between Mi Cai and me. For this ideal balance, you’ve consciously or unconsciously pressured her… She naturally knows what kind of person you are, and she’s even more afraid of losing you, so she keeps revolving in your world, unable to escape… Therefore, fall in love with anything, but not with a man afflicted by idealism! Such men are skilled at brainwashing women with their own visions, so Jian Wei always places her dreams within yours, unable to find an escape… Compared to my betrayal, your idealism is even more dangerous, even more deadly!!”
“You son of a bitch…!” I felt my blood boiling, a sense of explosion causing me pain.
Fan Yuan no longer paid attention to my emotions. He had already said enough and didn’t mind saying a bit more. He continued, “The world is full of opposites; just as some women like idealistic men, there are also women who prefer strategic, down-to-earth men, so Mi Lan entrusted her feelings to me. This is where she’s smarter than Mi Cai… I also appreciate her simplicity, loyalty, and her beauty and background, which I can’t resist… I can’t afford to betray or hurt her anymore. I need to give her a proper status.”
I was furious to the point of trembling, “You’re playing with fire. What about Yan Yan?”
“I hope she can give birth to my child… Mi Lan doesn’t mind this. I can give Yan Yan a large sum of money so she can live comfortably for the rest of her life!”
“Mi Lan might not mind, but will Mi Zhongde? Will he accept you, a man who abandons his wife and child?”
“Mi Lan is Mi Zhongde’s weakness. He can’t stop her from doing all this for me. Precisely because of this, I mustn’t betray Mi Lan again… I’ve realized that I truly love her.” At this point, Fan Yuan finally raised his head again and continued, “Now, everything I desire in this world is within my reach, and I can’t resist it!… Perhaps, asking Yan Yan to give birth to my child is the most idealistic thing I’ve ever done in my life. I hate idealism, but I genuinely hope she can give me this ending… Because…” He couldn’t continue, shaking his head in his own pain…
“You’re spouting nonsense… Don’t talk to me about idealism; this is just your twisted worldview!”
“Is that so?… But Zhao Yang, there must be many people like me living in this world, in corners you can’t see, achieving their goals in this way. What can your idealism change… Remember, for every ray of sunlight in this world, there is an equal amount of shadow!”
“Fan Yuan, I warn you, don’t even think about divorcing Yan Yan. She’s pregnant now and protected by national law. At the very least, you can’t divorce her now.”
“I can wait… I hope she can give birth to my child!… But the divorce must happen.” At this point, Fan Yuan showed no emotional fluctuation; he had already made up his mind to do this.
Compared to his betrayal in business, I felt even more powerless to change his betrayal in life. After a long silence, I said, “Fan Yuan, I also hope you remember that gaining something always means losing something… When you realize how painful loss can be, it will already be too late to turn back!… Do you plan to hide this from Yan Yan until she gives birth to this child?… Haha, maybe Mi Lan won’t cooperate with you as she claims… After all, behind human nature lies the ever-changing sky; often we can’t even understand ourselves, let alone others. Do as you please…!”
After saying this, I left alone, but just before I was about to walk out of this alley, I looked back at the restaurant called “Hui Fang,” where my and Fan Yuan’s story had begun—not here, but our ending was. After this afternoon, neither of us would ever return here again. All that had happened here would become history, buried beneath the already worn tables and chairs of Hui Fang Restaurant. Then, another Zhao Yang and Fan Yuan would repeat a similar story here, continuing to portray how behind human nature lies the ever-changing sky…
…
That afternoon, after returning to the company, I first informed my soon-to-be successor, the vice president, about my departure. We talked the entire afternoon, listening to his plans for managing the company after taking over and I gave him many of my own suggestions.
When it comes to Lukou, I have genuine feelings for it. To some extent, it has carried my long-held dreams, but I have to leave because dreams cannot exist apart from life. I want to live a life centered around family now. Perhaps, in several years, I might pick up again all the dreams contained within Lukou and the path of literature and art, or maybe not. I might just stay in Xuzhou, open my own coffee shop, run my small bar, and live an ordinary life. Perhaps at that time, raising an excellent child with sound values would be my greatest dream in life!
To be precise, this is also Mi Cai’s greatest dream, and the meaning behind our pursuit of an ordinary life.
This is good, really good… because we no longer need to live for hatred, nor live without a sense of security behind human nature! And Xuzhou is our best destination.
…
After work, I first returned to the old house. To my surprise, the woman in red was also waiting there. The loss at Zhuo Mei hadn’t cast much of a shadow over them, and the two were chatting happily. As soon as I entered, I saw their smiling expressions from a shared topic. The woman in red even placed her hand on Mi Cai’s, listening attentively to whatever she was saying.
Seeing my return, the two stopped their conversation. As I changed my shoes, the woman in red teased, “Zhao Yang, I heard you even had your driver’s license suspended. Yet you still dare to drive around this city? You still claim to be a law-abiding citizen!”
“My police brother said I just need to retake a theory test to get my license back… It’s just a formality anyway! Besides, haven’t you ever speeded? I heard you’re even a speed demon!!”
She glanced at me and replied, “Those with good character keep speeding, while those with bad character already had their licenses suspended…”
I turned to Mi Cai and said, “Did you hear that? General An is talking about you? One speeding offense, and those with bad character already had their licenses suspended!!”
“Zhao Yang, you’re really something. You’re blaming all your disgrace on your wife… I’m talking about you, you little rascal!”
“What? Of course I’m the one with good character! Just now, on my way back, I even had a little race with a guy driving a BMW. Didn’t you say those with good character keep speeding? I fit perfectly, so you’re obviously mocking Mi Cai!!” I joked with the woman in red, hoping to see if I could provoke a little verbal sparring between these two women who got along so well. I was really looking forward to seeing Mi Cai’s style of speaking—usually silent, but when she does speak, it’s shocking enough to leave the woman in red speechless. I didn’t want to be the only one getting picked on all the time.
Unexpectedly, Mi Cai only smiled, clearly feeling no need to get involved in our banter. Indeed, her attitude made both the woman in red and me feel rather bored. After exchanging disdainful glances, we moved on to the serious matter of where to go for dinner.
The three of us discussed briefly and decided to keep it simple, dining at the Suzhou-style restaurant across from the residential complex. Because eating was secondary; saying goodbye to the woman in red was the main point. After this parting in Suzhou, our chances of meeting again would be few.
Leaving the old house, the three of us walked toward the restaurant. On the way, the woman in red suddenly said to me, “Zhao Yang, there’s something I want you to persuade Mi Cai about…”
I was a bit puzzled, “What is it?”
I still believe that Zhuomei’s failure shouldn’t be the end… I greatly admire her unique insights into the field of e-commerce. So we can definitely start our own company independent of Zhuomei to pursue this project. I can handle the funding and have other resources as well. So I hope you can persuade her to keep an option open for her future. I’ve already tried persuading her for quite a while, but she refused!
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