After chatting with Li Xiaoyun for a while longer, Mi Cai finished all the interview procedures and came to Li Xiaoyun’s office. Holding a temporary ID badge, she said to me, “Zhaoyang, from this moment on, I’m officially a member of Osen Advertising.”
“Congratulations.”
Mi Cai smiled slightly, then hung the ID badge on herself. Her action puzzled me a bit, so I asked, “Are you planning to jump into work right away?”
“Yeah, it’s year-end, the busiest time for advertising companies, especially the client department. I should start working to help share some of the tasks,” Mi Cai replied. By then, the HR department had already arranged her desk, impressively efficient. This was typical of Osen Advertising—their strong execution ability was the foundation of their success in Xuzhou. Still, I was a bit worried whether Mi Cai, who had always been self-directed, could adapt to the fast-paced environment unique to advertising agencies, especially Osen.
Mi Cai, however, remained calm. Ignoring me, she began discussing work with Li Xiaoyun. Li Xiaoyun’s first assignment for Mi Cai was to evaluate clients based on the past year’s cooperation and develop a client plan for next year before the Chinese New Year.
Li Xiaoyun really didn’t hold back, giving Mi Cai a task that seemed simple but was actually quite heavy in workload. I felt even more concerned for Mi Cai, but she remained composed, sitting in front of the computer, getting familiar with the client files.
I reminded Li Xiaoyun a few more times not to pressure Mi Cai too much, then left Osen Advertising alone. I spent the rest of the time busily—first buying Mi Cai some materials for the civil service exam, and then visiting the now-closed café to confirm the renovation details.
The midday sun poured through the glass window onto the wooden table in front of me. I looked outside again. The distant smokestack was still emitting smoke. I seemed to see industrial civilization, yet heard no machinery sounds. Time and space felt disordered in my senses. It was all because that smokestack, representing the dark side of industrial civilization, could only be located at the edge of the city. It stood lonely, yet irreplaceable during this phase. I seemed to see my own reflection in that towering smokestack. We were alike, born together, living together. I breathed, it smoked, both gazing toward the end of life.
Lighting a cigarette, I no longer looked beyond the window, seeking some comfort in the café layout and the sunlight. When I finally stopped thinking about everything, I realized it was already noon—I should call Mi Cai. But she had already texted me first, saying she was having lunch with Li Xiaoyun for work.
So I ended up alone. Without much appetite by myself, my thoughts returned to the café renovation. I planned to buy some soft decorative items to continue embellishing this image-themed café. It wasn’t until the afternoon that I had a bowl of noodles at a nearby noodle shop.
Before dusk, I spent 5,000 yuan ordering some unique decorations online. After confirming the payment, my tense nerves finally relaxed. Leaning back on the sofa again, smoking and looking at the amazing view outside the window, I felt at ease. The view was most beautiful at dusk, as the open horizon was dyed golden. Uneven high-voltage lines looked like musical notes hanging under the setting sun. I couldn’t help grabbing Mi Cai’s camera and taking several photos. I was eager to let others see this scenery, so I shared the photos on my social media feed.
Shortly after, many friends liked the photos, but only Leyao expressed doubt, leaving a comment in her usual style: “Are you again using online images to pretend to be artistic?”
Perhaps because we had grown distant, I thought she had changed, but actually, she was still much like she was years ago. I smiled and replied, “Leyao, you really know how to joke. These are actually photos I took.”
“Even lying is so effortless. I really admire you!”
“Believe it or not.”
Leyao changed the topic: “I heard you and Mi Cai fled back to Xuzhou to live?”
“Damn… What do you mean by fled?”
“I’m now CEO Leyao. Please be more polite when talking to me.”
“Excuse me, what do you mean by fled?”
Leyao seemed to be busy with something. This time, she replied after a long while: “Because there’s no such thing as a paradise in this world. Any departure accompanied by disgrace can be defined as fleeing!”
“Bullshit… We’re living very happily in Xuzhou, a man farming and a woman weaving kind of life. How could you, who are immersed in luxury, ever understand?”
“Be polite when you speak!” Her reply was followed by a series of furious emoji.
I realized I had been impolite, so I quickly added, “Forget that last sentence, except for ‘bullshit.’” But I was puzzled in my heart—since when had conversations with Leyao become subject to politeness taboos?
“You’re still the same as before, always thinking others are immersed in worldly corruption, while you alone remain noble in the purity of nature… Haha, it seems you’ll never change.”
I felt unhappy and replied, “I know you’re successful—daughter of a real estate tycoon, head of a film company, top actress, and married into a wealthy family. But are these really reasons for you to belittle us ordinary people? Everyone has the right to pursue the life they want, and I don’t need you to judge mine!”
“In your words, I sense cowardice and insecurity… The angrier you get, the more it shows you’re not living firmly. That’s why you always post photos that seem emotionally powerful—they’re just meant to hide your insecurity and create the illusion that you’re doing well.”
Suddenly, the air felt thick, and every breath I took seemed to require great effort. Leyao was like a merciless butcher, holding a sharp knife and stabbing at the most vulnerable parts of my heart. I didn’t want to reply anymore, nor waste time talking to her.
She seemed to get more excited and continued to stab at my weaknesses: “Zhaoyang, you had countless choices, but you chose this path. I know you think Mi Cai being by your side is the greatest value in your life… But if that value ever leaves you, what will you have left besides loneliness and struggling to survive? Don’t you realize yet that you’ve already bet your entire life on a woman? Your happiness, anger, and sorrow are all decided by her!”
“…Damn, are you acting out another script again?… I’m being polite now, asking you to stop with your melodramatic thoughts because they don’t fit me at all. So go focus on your movie, and I look forward to your success at next year’s film festivals. Please stop worrying about my small-time life, okay?”
“You’re overreacting again. I’m just reminding you… about possible crises in your life. Luo Ben made the wrong choice and kept making mistakes. I don’t want you to repeat his path, so I sacrificed a lot of my precious time to talk to you…”
“Every choice has its right or wrong, and even if I made the wrong one, I won’t regret it… Also, when you talk about me, it might be better to look back at yourself and see if you’ve made all the right choices. If not, let’s encourage each other instead of attacking each other… It’s pointless!”
Leyao took a long time before replying this time: “Even if I made the wrong choices, at least when I look back, I’m still standing at the top of the fame and fortune stage. What do you have? Just a nobody hiding in Xuzhou, always talking about loneliness and pain!”
I took deep breaths, trying not to get angry at her attacking words, nor did I want to fight back anymore. Because ever since she got married, she had changed, and so had I. It was hard for us to have an equal conversation using our old ways of thinking. Since we were no longer equal, why should I fight back in a humble way? At most, I could just admit she was better at life.
Finally, I replied, “You’re the master of life. Please let this little nobody go… Don’t reply anymore. Even if you do, I won’t talk to you again… Wishing you success with your movie next year, be the unbeatable loner in life!”
Leyao seemed to want me to back down. After sending a smug emoji, she ended this conversation that left me feeling very suffocated… Because I felt suffocated, I didn’t want to deliberately dwell on what she had said. I understood that I was going through a somewhat gloomy period. Once I successfully opened the café, reached profitability, and secured my livelihood, I would regain my confidence in life!
The sky gradually darkened, and the view outside the window disappeared. But I saw a figure I had missed even though we had only been apart for a day. She knocked on the glass window, catching my attention, then lifted the convenience bag in her hand. It turned out she had bought roasted chestnuts, which we both loved… We smiled at each other.
…
I turned on the café lights, and we sat together eating the chestnuts. Our ways of eating were still different—she liked to dip them in honey, while I preferred them plain. But that didn’t stop us from enjoying them. I really felt that this kind of life was the most enjoyable.
I noticed that Mi Cai seemed to enjoy roasted chestnuts even more than I did, so I stopped eating and peeled them for her, placing them in front of her. We chatted, and I asked about her day at work. She simply replied that it was easy, then asked me to accompany her to watch a newly released foreign blockbuster after dinner. Naturally, I agreed. I felt even more strongly that this was the life I wanted—to pursue simple happiness with the woman I loved, amidst the daily routines of life!
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