I had lost count of how many intersections I had passed before I finally brought Mi Cai back to our place. I carried her toward the elevator. During the wait, I didn’t really feel the weight she placed on my arms. She was such a quiet, serene woman; even when drunk, she never babbled or caused trouble.
For some reason, I thought of Leyao again. She had countless times gotten drunk and fought and teased me. Even now, when I recall those drunken nights of hers, the phrase “chaotic and noisy” still pops into my mind. She would cry and laugh alternately, making little animal sounds. She would pretend to be a kitten and demand I be a puppy with her!
Yet, after so many years, I no longer feel as annoyed by her as I once did. In fact, I even miss those turbulent days we had together… because of her presence, I always felt that in this absurd youth of ours, there was someone even more foolish and pitiful than me. We always claimed we wanted to be masters of life, yet still fell into the trap of alcohol, unwilling to seek an escape from life.
I thought again of Luoben and our old trio of fools—we really were that foolish! Because we were always troubled by love, like three rotten pieces of wood floating together, mocking each other, acting foolishly, and seeking comfort in one another. But now, we’ve gone our separate ways, becoming friends who slowly lose touch, only able to look back from the gates of time at those irreplaceable moments!
Snapped out of my thoughts, the elevator finally stopped. Only after the doors opened did I realize I had already returned to this place called home… Yes! That once reckless youth now has his own family and even a beautiful fiancée.
Back then, I always cursed “this damn life,” yet life treated me kindly. I suddenly realized that only those without ability complain about life. Although I still lack ability now, I’ve benefited greatly from life. Perhaps one day in the future, I can really hold my child, look in the mirror, and say to him (or her): “Look, your dad is a master of life, because I married your mom!”
Gently placing Mi Cai on the bed, I took off her shoes and clothes, went to the bathroom to get some hot water, and wiped her face. After confirming she was sleeping peacefully, I finally washed up myself.
Shortly afterward, I turned off the lights and lay down beside Mi Cai. The surroundings were so quiet that only our breathing could be heard, occasionally interrupted by distant firecrackers. I pulled open the curtain and was lucky enough to see a burst of fireworks in the sky—beautiful yet quickly vanishing. This brief moment of beauty made me feel a bit reluctant, so I stayed awake, waiting for the next fireworks to rise…
After a long while, no fireworks appeared in my sight. I felt somewhat bored but couldn’t fall asleep, so I habitually picked up my phone to scroll through my WeChat Moments, checking whether any new contacts had recently shared information about our coffee shop…
As I scrolled down, I actually found several customers sharing personal photo shoots taken at our café, especially recommending it. Their reasons varied: some said our café had great ambiance, others mentioned there was a handsome barista, and some praised the owner for his good guitar playing and the owner’s wife for her beauty…
My mood instantly improved, so I continued browsing with great interest. But in a very inconspicuous spot, I saw Leyao had shared the song “Miss You,” along with a short paragraph expressing her feelings. She wrote: “A strange city, a familiar feeling… but I don’t know how lonely I am now! Will this bustling city ever calm down?… It will, maybe in a café at the next crossroads!”
I grabbed my headphones and opened the song “Miss You” that she had shared. It seemed like the first time I had ever listened to this song. I quietly listened to the melody and every lyric…
“I came to your city, walked the roads you once took… Would you suddenly appear, in a café at the street corner? I would greet you with a smile, sit down and chat with you. How much I wish to meet you, to see your recent changes, not talking about the past, just a casual chat, to say one sentence, just one sentence: ‘Long time no see…’”
In the quiet, almost whispering song, my heart beat faster. I thought of the woman I had seen on the street… her walking posture and that one-in-a-million figure really resembled Leyao so much! As if once again, through the song’s narrative, I saw her lonely figure dissolving in the lights!
Had she really come to my city? Was she waiting for us to meet again at a café on some crossroads? Or was I merely subjectively connecting these dots, creating in my mind an illusion of her coming to Xuzhou?
I needn’t be so troubled. I could simply send her a WeChat message to confirm… But if she really were in Xuzhou, what should I do? Sneak out secretly while Mi Cai was drunk to meet her?
Of course I couldn’t do that. Moreover, even if Leyao had indeed come to Xuzhou, her purpose wouldn’t be to find me. It would be more about experiencing loneliness and the past, trying to heal her current troubled state… At least, I know she has this habit. She always goes to a strange city when she feels down, walks the unfamiliar streets, and says some artistic, fresh little words to herself as a way to heal…
Thinking this way, it no longer matters which city she is in now. What matters is that she really has been hurt in this marriage with Cao Jinfei! And the reason she was hurt was because of deep love… Therefore, this also shows that she truly has feelings for Cao Jinfei, rather than it being just a business marriage!
A long time passed, yet I still stared at Leyao’s Moments, pondering…
Suddenly, a reply appeared below her post. This reply came from Xiao Wu, a member of Luoben’s band. We three were mutual friends, so I could see his reply. He wrote: “Boss Leyao, which city are you feeling sentimental in now?”
Shortly after, Leyao replied: “The city where Luoben once stayed!”
“I see!… Sigh, since my brother went to America, you’ve become the loneliest person in the world, with no one to share your sorrows!”
“Go die… Don’t you believe I’ll cry for you?”
“Please don’t cry… Or maybe I’ll come find you, be your trash can, since I’m not too far anyway!”
“Come then, bring some beer… I’m waiting for you by the seaside!”
Leyao and Xiao Wu’s conversation ended here. They probably switched to private chat, as WeChat Moments isn’t a very convenient place for chatting…
I finally threw my phone aside, giving a self-mocking smile. I laughed at myself for being so presumptuous. What Leyao missed at this moment was merely Luoben, her dear friend. The song “Miss You” had only given me an awkward misunderstanding through its lyrics. The woman I saw on the street was just a visual mistake, because Luoben had never come to Xuzhou, and Xuzhou certainly didn’t have a seaside where one could drink beer and enjoy the sea breeze…
I roughly knew which city Leyao was in now. And since Xiao Wu was going to accompany her, I felt somewhat relieved. After all, they had been old friends for many years, true companions in adversity!
The night grew deeper. I felt as if I had resolved a matter, no longer expecting fireworks outside the window, and finally felt tired. Moments later, I hugged Mi Cai and fell asleep… This incident seemed merely a small episode in my life. From beginning to end, I never sent Leyao a comforting message, nor did she actively seek comfort from me… We finally no longer needed each other as time passed…
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