Taxi carrying Mi Cai had already driven towards the edge of the city in the dusk, following the wind direction. My heart felt hollow and empty; I dared not look back at the lighted windows behind me. At this moment, I could hardly see the direction ahead, nor understand the passage of time. I was even more uncertain whether death is the final destination for human beings…
In fact, spring had already arrived. The wind blowing on the body was not cold, but it blew away the dim yellow sun at the horizon, bringing boundless loneliness and an indescribable sense of desolation. I raised my head, swallowed hard, neither moving forward nor backward, standing there for a long time until I suddenly noticed another anxious figure approaching. We met eyes, and he, with a painful and extremely tense expression, asked me, “Zhaoyang, how is Jian Wei? Is there any danger to her life?”
Looking at Xiang Chen, who seemed to be awaiting a verdict, I replied, “The surgery was relatively successful, but she is still in a coma.”
If in the past, we had been on the same boat weathering storms together, now we had long since become enemies after breaking ties. Thus, the only thing we could talk about was Jian Wei’s safety. After receiving my information, he ran toward the hospital building with a painful expression. I followed behind him.
Outside the intensive care unit, the people who had come to visit had not yet dispersed. They looked at Xiang Chen who had just arrived. Facing Xiang Chen were Jian Wei’s attending physician and the hospital president, who had arrived at some unknown time. He was emotionally scolding the attending physician, repeatedly stating that no matter what it took, they must bring Jian Wei back to consciousness. The doctor kept nodding cooperatively while continuously explaining the complexity of Jian Wei’s current condition. The hospital president, who seemed familiar with Xiang Chen, tried to comfort him with kind words and promised that the hospital would do everything possible to treat Jian Wei.
Xiang Chen’s emotions were on the verge of collapse. He leaned on a glass window, the only place from which he could see Jian Wei, and sobbed painfully until his legal wife, a woman named Chu Xinrui, walked toward them down the hospital corridor. Her expression was icy, clearly displeased with Xiang Chen’s visit to Jian Wei.
Under everyone’s gaze, she finally arrived in front of Xiang Chen and sternly questioned him, “Xiang Chen, where exactly do you place me in your heart? And how do you think others see me when you do these things now?”
Xiang Chen seemed somewhat afraid of this woman. He raised his head, closed his eyes, shook his head, and painfully replied, “In this situation, I don’t have the ability to consider too much. I hope you can understand…”
“Funny, I understand you, but who understands me? I won’t easily forgive you for this.”
Xiang Chen looked at her without saying a word, his gaze still lingering on the hospital bed in the ICU…
Leyao took over the conversation, addressing the two of them, “This is not the place for you to resolve your conflicts. If you still have a bit of public conscience, please go somewhere else to argue, and don’t disturb the patients, okay?”
Xiang Chen nodded. He came to Yan Yan’s side, pleaded with her to take good care of Jian Wei, and said to contact him for any financial needs. After receiving Yan Yan’s response, he gazed at Jian Wei on the hospital bed once more before turning around, pulling Chu Xinrui with him, and heading toward the elevator at the other end of the corridor…
…
The night grew deeper, and the people who had come to visit gradually left. Even Yan Yan, who cared most about Jian Wei, was asked by the police to assist in the investigation of this incident. In the hospital corridor, the only familiar person left with me was Leyao, while Cao Jinfeng had already boarded a flight back to Beijing just now.
I stood by a window used for ventilation, lit a cigarette to bear the pain in my heart, took a deep puff, and then turned to Leyao beside me, saying, “You should also go back to Beijing. Your company has a pile of things waiting for you to handle. Staying here won’t help much.”
Leyao shook her head, smiling bitterly, “You don’t need help the most at this moment, but you need company… Knowing you for so long, the thing I fear most is watching you being alone, smoking and drinking by yourself, unable to find someone to talk to.”
I squinted and took another deep puff of my cigarette, replying, “If you say that, Cao Jinfeng might not be happy.”
Leyao’s expression turned serious as she said, “Zhaoyang, is the boundary between men and women really that important? Because of these differences, should we forget our past friendship and the times we went through hardships together?… Now, everyone knows that nothing more can happen between us!… Sometimes, I really wish I could turn myself into a man, smoke with you, drink with you to drown my sorrows, and others wouldn’t have so many idle comments!”
I sighed softly, “The world is just like this. Sometimes, our ideals are just a laughingstock in others’ eyes. Face reality. In a world dominated by realism, there is no way out for those who suffer from idealism, unless you take others’ misunderstandings as enjoyment!”
“Then I would rather take the misunderstanding as enjoyment…”
I shook my head, somewhat despondently, replying, “When one is entangled by misunderstandings, one also loses the qualification for stable happiness. That’s not good…”
“You and I are spiritual orphans in this world; why should we care about others’ misunderstandings? I could love you deeply in the past, and now, I can stop loving you, but I can still care about you and stay with you. Whether others understand this kind of feeling or not is not important to me at all…”
I wiped my face with the hand holding the cigarette, not allowing myself to cry, forcing a smile to change the subject and said to her, “Go buy a bottle of Jiaxing wine, let’s have a little.”
Leyao always tended to comply with me in times of hardship. She nodded and, putting on a mask and hat, walked toward the elevator. After she entered the elevator, I took another one because I didn’t want to drink. I just wanted to get rid of her…
I sent her a message telling her that I had returned to the old house to find Mi Cai, asking her to find a hotel to rest early or even return to Beijing now if she could still catch a flight. I didn’t want to use an idealistic attitude to burden her and Cao Jinfeng’s relationship, although I really needed someone to talk to, I had to become rational. Perhaps, I had already lost the ability to be a master of life, but she must become a master of life because she now had the conditions to do so completely… I thought, when she came back after buying the wine and found me gone from the hospital, she would choose to leave.
…
Late at night, I sat on the cold street, aimlessly watching the occasional couples passing by. Their hands were so tightly held, their laughter so light, making me somewhat envious of their seemingly stable happiness. Thus, the damned tears blurred my eyes again. I took out another cigarette and lit it to hide my feelings… Then I imagined the uncertain future life ahead, feeling pain in my heart.
The phone vibrated in my pocket. I knew it was Leyao calling after buying the wine. I didn’t answer once, and she finally gave up on the fifth try. I knew she would find a hotel to sleep. No matter how hard and deep this night was, I didn’t need her company, I was sure of that.
Suddenly, I thought of Jian Wei, worrying so much that I wanted to cry…
Then I thought of Mi Cai, my heart aching so much that I wanted to cry…
I didn’t cry anymore, just kept looking at the streetlight across the street, full of the marks of time. I reminded myself that I should do something practical now, for Jian Wei, and for the responsibilities I had once laid down. So I dialed Zhang Yixi’s number.
The call was answered shortly after, and he told me that he had already returned to Yangzhou with Anqi. He asked about Jian Wei’s current condition. After learning that Jian Wei was temporarily out of danger, he advised me not to be too stressed and also to take care of Mi Cai. After thanking him, I got to the point and said to him, “Earlier, you mentioned being interested in the ‘Artistic Path’ project. I think we can cooperate. If convenient, I hope you can bring the investment plan to Suzhou as soon as possible so we can meet and discuss it in detail!”
Zhang Yixi on the other end of the phone was obviously surprised and asked, “Zhaoyang, I do have a strong interest in this project, but can you make the decision?”
“Don’t worry, I’m definitely the one who can make the decision. But I also want to be honest with you. This project is currently facing losses due to Jian Wei’s condition. You should also consider carefully. If you still think it has investment value, I will present a new renovation plan and development plan for this project the next time we meet.”
“No problem, then let’s meet in Suzhou in three days. Personally, I’m very much looking forward to in-depth cooperation with you on this project, and this project also aligns with the strategic plan I’ve set for myself in business in recent years. As a potential investor, I’m still very confident about working with you to bring this project back to life.”
“I’m also looking forward to it.”
On the phone, I and Zhang Yixi preliminarily reached a consensus to jointly operate the “Artistic Path” project. For the first time in my life, I heard the sound of war drums ringing in my ears. I thought that if Jian Wei still had consciousness, she would definitely feel pleased with the decision I had made. And the next time I could visit her in the ward, I would tell her this news…
After that, I also called Zhou Zhaokun and told him about my idea of establishing a game company and entering the mobile game industry, hoping that he could become an investor in this company. He expressed interest in meeting with me for detailed discussions. We set the meeting place in Suzhou three days later. Later, I also called Tongzi, who was overseas, hoping that he could return to China with the connections he had accumulated in the game industry over the past year to provide me with professional assistance. Tongzi readily agreed.
After the call ended, I once again gazed at the starry night sky. I didn’t know if it was already too late to do all this now, but after much reflection on life, I had to make myself strong. Not just for worldly desires, but more importantly, to ensure that those close to me would no longer be disappointed. I hoped I could maturely face the life ahead… Also, I wanted to take Zhuo Mei back from Fang Yuan and Mi Zhongde and redeem my past mistakes in front of Mi Cai. At this moment, I deeply understood that escape would not bring mercy from enemies. Such cowardice would only make them more ruthless.
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