I don’t know why, but at this moment, I have already begun to miss the time I spent with her—even the ever-changing weather. I stared at her, regardless of everything. I knew she might leave tomorrow; otherwise, she wouldn’t have mentioned saying goodbye tonight on Mochou Road.
I couldn’t help but reflect on what we had been through in the past year or so with Mi Cai. There had been arguments, making up, more arguments, and then making up again. Setting aside all the events that had occurred, this seemed to be the norm for lovers, and this back-and-forth rhythm became part of our emotional connection. Therefore, I could wait for her to return from America, no matter how long it took.
I thought again about the unfinished wedding we had planned… I saw the fruits of our efforts, and then those fruits dissolving into nothingness. I would soon be alone, but loneliness no longer stirred my fragile sensitivities. I didn’t want this farewell to become sorrowful, so I finally smiled at Mi Cai and said, “Let’s go, let’s take a walk on Mochou Road.”
“Before we go, let’s visit that square again.”
“Okay, we still have time.”
We continued walking northward through the city. The moat had curved away from our path toward the northwest, so without the river’s moisture, the air along the way felt dry. A road under construction kicked up dust under the rollers of a compactor, settling on the plane trees lining the street. Under the trees, the general stores carried a sense of aged nostalgia.
I went into one of the shops to buy a pack of cigarettes. The shop owner, wearing a sweater, was chatting with the owner of the adjacent paint store about the ups and downs of life and his own house that was soon to be demolished…
I couldn’t remember how long we had walked when we finally arrived at the square, surrounded by lights. More children than usual were playing there today, and I suddenly remembered it was yet another beautiful weekend for most people.
Mi Cai and I stood at the edge of the square, silently watching. We saw Wei Xiao and Yaya. They seemed to be playing a racing game with some improvised role-playing. Thanks to his gas-powered racing car, Wei Xiao was still the king among the children, enjoying the thrill of being the main character… He gave orders occasionally and laughed loudly. Somehow, he had unknowingly found his way to grow—he was already showing signs of leadership.
As for Yaya, she still carried the shyness she had since coming from the mountain village. While Wei Xiao was having fun, she sat alone by the fountain, whispering things no one else could understand to the teacup dog that Le Yao had given him. Thus, on this small square, there was a contrast between motion and stillness.
Neither of us walked to the center of the square because we, burdened with adult worries, felt out of place among the innocent children. It was better to stay at the edge, recalling the past while watching the children’s smiling faces.
After a while, we arrived calmly and left calmly… Perhaps those profound moments that had once happened here would transform into tomorrow morning’s sunlight, pushing the world toward nightfall together with time, and waiting for dawn once again…
…
An hour later, we arrived in Nanjing by high-speed rail. It was different from Suzhou. I heard people here refer to girls as “Pansi.” The Pansi here walked quickly, so their boyfriends were all skilled at chasing. Thus, the streets were filled with hurried couples, making Mi Cai, a girl from Suzhou, seem special. She simply followed my steps, passing the subway station, the Xuanwu Lake…
Along both sides of Mochou Road were some old snack shops. Since it was past dinner time, the idle shop owners were sitting inside playing cards or feeding the hungry cats and dogs. In the nearby hair salon, a middle-aged customer sat silently in front of the mirror, perhaps a businessman calculating his profits and losses for the day.
Walking another 200 meters ahead, there was a beggar dozing beside a streetlamp. Perhaps in his dreams, he also experienced meetings and partings, but to him, it didn’t matter. All meetings and partings happened in an instant. No one remembered his face—passersby left him with a scornful glance or perhaps a few coins.
Across from the streetlamp, we saw another beautiful Nanjing Pansi. She held a roasted sweet potato in one hand and lowered the roller shutter of the nail salon with the other. Her boyfriend, straddling a motorcycle, shouted out loud asking which bar they would go to later… A Mercedes-Benz behind them swerved around the blocking motorcycle, leaving a honk and speeding away.
I stopped walking, unwilling to see more of what lay at the end of Mochou Road—more meetings and partings. I held Mi Cai’s hand, murmuring softly. I realized at this moment, I still had such a perfect girlfriend by my side, but the next moment, we would face an indefinite separation on this Mochou Road.
We sat down on a bench by the roadside. I looked down at Mi Cai’s pure white shoes and said with some melancholy, “This Mochou Road isn’t quite as its name suggests. There are still people who feel sad on this road!”
Mi Cai glanced toward the end of the road and softly replied, “For those walking this road, eating, sleeping, and waking up—that’s a whole year… This seemingly long time isn’t actually so frightening!”
I knew these were Mi Cai’s comforting words before her departure. I nodded and responded, “I understand what you mean. Time and distance aren’t our enemies. Because in our experiences, there is that sky city, Suzhou’s playful square, and this Mochou Road before us. These are our guidance and our faith… I will wait for you to come back!”
Mi Cai smiled slightly and asked, “Will you buy lottery tickets while you wait for me to return?”
“You still have the heart to tease me about my past?!” I replied helplessly and dejectedly. A few years ago, I indeed pinned my hopes of becoming rich on lottery tickets, waiting for Jian Wei to return from America. If Mi Cai hadn’t mentioned this old story, I wouldn’t have even realized how astonishingly similar history had become.
Last time, Jian Wei left me with the word “waiting” written on the car window. This time, Mi Cai left me with this “Mochou Road.” And the ending? Would it be the same result or a powerful reversal?
Mi Cai cupped my face with both hands, caressed my hair, and softly said, “Zhaoyang, grow up… grow up quickly. My greatest wish in life is that when I return, you will be a responsible, mature man who understands life. Kindness is not the only standard of maturity—you still have so much to do, so much…”
I didn’t rush to make promises. I just recalled some past memories and smiled at my own absurdity… I remembered, I was about twenty-four or twenty-five back then!
Finally, I told her, “I won’t buy lottery tickets anymore. When you come back, I will give you the most special gift.”
For the first time, Mi Cai showed such a curious expression. She eagerly asked, “What gift will you give me?”
“A gift that needs time to accumulate.”
“Okay, I know once I ask, it loses its original meaning. I’ll choose to wait patiently instead…”
“Okay, I promise it won’t disappoint you!” I paused slightly before asking again, “Can you tell me what you’ll do after going to America?”
“I’ll follow your every achievement back in China.”
“Does that mean we can still keep in touch?”
Mi Cai shook her head and replied, “Maintaining contact isn’t wise. It will make us emotional and impulsive. We must believe that distance is an exam. We’re not completely out of touch. I believe in the power of that city—it separates us outwardly, but our hearts remain connected… Besides, in Yan Zhuomei’s eyes, we should have completely cut ties. So besides following your achievements, I must also engage in a struggle with Yan Zhuomei to make her accept my lifestyle and values! I have too many things to do!”
“I understand what you mean. I sincerely hope you and Aunt Yan can reconcile.”
Mi Cai nodded…
Finally, I hugged her and smiled, saying, “To ensure you can follow my news, I must work hard to appear on more financial magazines. After all, you may not have such strong willpower to notice what I’m doing without these public appearances.”
Mi Cai smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder. Then the world grew quiet, and even the wind could be heard, carrying comforting whispers from the city.
“Yang, when I leave you, can you resist loneliness and temptation, and patiently wait for me here in China?”
“I can… When you’re in America, will you still remember Zhaoyang—the guy who sometimes plays the guitar, sometimes feels down, sometimes goes crazy?”
“I can too… Every morning and night, I will relive the time we spent together!”
My face leaned against hers, and I gently stroked her hair again and again. I knew that as our conversation continued, the moment of separation was drawing closer… I lovingly said to her, “Dance for me on this Mochou Road… I know you dance beautifully. I secretly watched the photos you took while studying in America!”
Amidst the sorrow of parting, Mi Cai no longer had the heart to scold me for my sneaking around. She wept quietly on my shoulder. Like me, she feared this indefinite separation… At this moment, we both suffered deeply because of the same event.
Mi Cai finally stepped away from me. Standing under a streetlamp, she fulfilled my final request. At this moment, on this busy Mochou Road filled with traffic and crowds, my eyes only saw her dancing for me. Fortunately, she wore pure white running shoes, her movements graceful and fluid; unfortunately, I didn’t have a guitar to play the most beautiful melody for her dance…
Mochou Road remained the same Mochou Road, but her dance etched the memory of this road deeply into the depths of my soul… Not only for me, but for many passersby who stopped and praised her, seeing her as a Nanjing Pansi…
Yes! I wished she were a Nanjing Pansi, never needing to go so far from me. I could bring her some pastries in the morning or evening, holding her hand, walking and eating together, forgetting all worries…
…
At the end of the road, we let go of each other’s hands. She said, “My next stop is Shanghai. What about you?”
“Back to Suzhou… You go first. I’ll follow.”
She nodded and walked away from Mochou Road… I closed my eyes, wanting to remember the scent of this road and the way she walked along it! In my heart, in the future, she would always remain deep within my soul, whispering, caring!
“Zhaoyang…”
I opened my eyes. She was already by the taxi, holding the engagement ring that had not yet been placed on my finger. She asked, “Where’s mine?”
I hurriedly fumbled it out of my pocket and held it up for her to see. She nodded, said nothing more, and got into the impatiently waiting taxi. I gazed… until she disappeared from Mochou Road!
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I quickly took it out. Her message to me contained only four words… No worries, no worries!
I lowered my head, sitting at the end of Mochou Road, and looked up at the path we had walked together!… Indeed, parting really does happen in an instant!
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