Roben rode the rhythm of the music, first kicking off his high heels. When the chorus came, he stepped onto the speaker with one foot, and with extraordinary skills, played a melodious yet restless tune on his guitar. Then, he took the opportunity to throw off his wig and silently resumed his male identity. However, the audience mistook his little trick for a surprising gimmick, and once again fell into a frenzy of screaming. Indeed, Roben was the undisputed king of live performances; often, even an unconscious gesture of his could bring the crowd to an explosive climax. Rather than calling Roben a talented singer, I prefer to call him a soul singer, for the infectiousness of his works is rare among songwriters.
Certainly, because my music, created as a hobby, was widely shared on Weibo, I gained a considerable number of fans. Many of them were also present tonight. However, compared to pop singers, there were no glow sticks at our concert; all the audience expressed their love for rock and folk music with the most primitive shouts.
After one song, I left the stage to Roben and returned backstage. Although the atmosphere was intense, I still felt uneasy, as I kept thinking about the figure I had seen on Mo Chou Road, who might even be Mi Cai.
I smoked a cigarette and called Ye Luo, who was still in Suzhou. I thought she might know something about Mi Cai’s whereabouts. At least, I needed to confirm whether that woman was truly Mi Cai, so I wouldn’t remain so restless.
The phone was answered by Ye Luo moments later, and she said in surprise, “Director Zhao, shouldn’t you be at the concert right now? Why do you have time to call me?”
My voice trembled slightly, “Ye Luo, listen, I just saw someone who looked like Mi Cai on Mo Chou Road in Nanjing, so I’m calling to confirm whether she has returned to China.”
“Director Zhao, do you really suspect that I have contact with Director Mi?”
“Otherwise, what do you think?”
“… Director Zhao, if I tell you that I only met with Director Mi once before she went to America, will you believe me?”
“I… What you’re saying is, many things were arranged by Mi Cai even before she went to America?”
“She only asked me to find an appropriate time to switch to your company. I’m just a small part of Mi Cai’s business strategy, so the information I have may not be more than yours. As for whether Mi Cai has returned to China, I think you’d better ask Chen Jingming. That would definitely be more reliable than asking me.”
I thought it made sense and immediately dialed Chen Jingming’s number to verify whether Mi Cai had returned. However, the response he gave was almost the same as Ye Luo’s. Mi Cai had not made any direct contact with him. These ambiguous and unverifiable statements made me feel somewhat helpless… I smoked a cigarette and thought deeply during that short time.
…
The concert was successful as expected. Friends gathered backstage to celebrate with Roben and me, discussing where to go for a late-night meal and some relaxation. With so many people talking at once, the topics kept expanding and the voices grew louder and louder. However, I became increasingly restless. After exchanging a few words with the group, I quickly grabbed my guitar and ran out of the venue… I was afraid of missing out because of a few minutes’ delay. I also knew that if that vague figure was truly her, it meant she didn’t want to see me. Otherwise, why would she leave me in suspense instead of appearing before me with that long-missed smile?
Although it was already spring, the weather hadn’t completely shaken off the chill of winter, especially at night. The entire Mo Chou Road still lingered at the edge of winter, exuding a sense of loneliness. The moon floating in the night sky scattered its cool light onto the windows of the swiftly passing cars, turning red cars into roses and white ones into smiling flowers. They passed by me in a blur, piecing together my memories of the entire Mo Chou Road… It took a long time before I came back to my senses, realizing I was still standing in the cold night air, feeling somewhat surreal.
I took the guitar case off my shoulder, sat on a bench under a streetlight, and lit another cigarette, watching the now rarely trafficked Mo Chou Road. Yet I still clearly remembered how, a few hours earlier, her face had appeared and disappeared among the crowded street, and I had failed to seize the moment… How could I not feel regret!
Time slowly passed in the deep night, and eventually even the women who frequented the nightclubs had come and gone past me in batches, smoking their cigarettes. I had to tell myself that the brief encounter from a few hours ago was merely a fleeting beauty granted by heaven. Why should I greedily seek to confirm whether she was truly the woman I had longed for all this time? I knew better than anyone else that people are not like trees or lamps; they move around. In this world, there isn’t a person who stays in one place waiting. A spontaneous journey may leave behind a vast distance… At this moment, perhaps only heaven knows where that figure has already gone.
During this time, Roben and the others had repeatedly called me, urging me to quickly come to the club they had reserved. By now, they had already finished their late-night meal and were enjoying full-body massages. My absence was a form of self-torture, especially after a day of intense exhaustion, which required such methods to relieve fatigue.
But I didn’t want to go anywhere. I just wanted to find a small hotel on Mo Chou Road, put down the burden on my mind, and have a sound sleep… Perhaps, in my dreams, there would be a perfect process and ending.
I put the guitar case back on my shoulder and walked toward the end of the street, passing once again by the “Mo Chou Café” that I had painstakingly created. At this time, the café had already closed, leaving only a colorful lamp above the store sign flickering on and off.
I gave a bitter smile. If it was truly Mi Cai who saw this café, which was obviously built to commemorate our parting on this road, why didn’t she come in for a sit? And since she didn’t know I was in the café at that time, why bother to avoid deliberately? So I became less and less convinced that that fleeting face came from the sacred her in my heart. Perhaps it was just a woman who looked somewhat like her.
I lit my second cigarette on that street, filling this somewhat empty night with memories.
…
I once again walked slowly toward the small hotel at the end of the street, and then, without any warning, I saw her coming toward me from across the street. Our meeting was calm and peaceful, as if with just a glance, we were suddenly standing in front of each other. I gazed at her rising and falling breath, at her hair flowing in the night wind… Her face was still so clean and otherworldly, still that woman who, in my memory, didn’t need any cosmetics to be breathtakingly beautiful… Yes, standing before me, she had long hair reaching her shoulders, dressed simply and elegantly from head to toe, with only two colorful earrings gently accentuating her beauty in the deep night.
I had so many emotions bursting forth in an instant, but finally I just lowered my head, then looked at her with a smile, gently cupping her clean face with both hands, and said, “You’ve gained a little weight compared to before. You must have been doing really well in the U.S., huh?”
She instinctively clasped my fingers, somewhat tearfully replying, “I heard you’ve been doing well in China, but you’ve gotten thinner!”
I responded with a hint of sorrow, “Because I don’t have a heart as big as yours… You came back without even saying a word! If I hadn’t spent an hour or so on this street, I probably would have missed you again!”
She looked at me apologetically, “I only came back to China to handle some business, just for two days. I didn’t want to meet and then have to face the pain of parting again.”
“Wow! Even escaping can be justified so convincingly!”
“You’re still as sharp-tongued as ever…”
“You should know how miserable I’ve been this past year; then you wouldn’t blame me like this… Oh, did you go to our concert today? The atmosphere was really hot!”
Mi Cai shook her head…
I felt disappointed but quickly added, “It’s okay if you didn’t go. It’s just a bit of a pity you didn’t see Roben performing in a wig and high heels… Ha ha, that guy will definitely consider this concert the biggest embarrassment of his life!”
As I spoke, I laughed loudly, but I held her hand even tighter. Who the hell knows if this isn’t just a beautiful dream I haven’t woken up from yet? If so, I must try my best to get some benefit from this dream. So, I hugged her even closer, whispering in her ear about many things that had happened in the past year…
Mi Cai listened to me for a long time, and only after I stopped speaking did she tell me that she had come out so late because she wanted to have some late-night snacks, and then sleep. She would be returning to the U.S. with her assistant the next morning…
I said, “It would have been better if it was just a dream! At most, I would feel a bit sad when I woke up in the sunlight tomorrow. Now, after this brief evening, the pain of parting tomorrow is so real and right in front of me, how disheartening, how depressing, how confusing…”
Mi Cai looked at me, who was complaining, like a child. She helplessly shook her head, then linked her arm with mine and smiled. Then we walked together toward the “Mo Chou Café.” I had the key to that café, and I was preparing to take her there to have some late-night snacks and maybe drink some milk.
If she was still willing to listen to my rambling, I would tell her: what concept I had carried when I designed this café, and what role this café had played on my beloved literary street… Of course, she couldn’t stay idle. She had to chat with me about how she had spent this past year. We had been together for so long, and I had never seen her gain weight, but after going to the U.S., she really did gain a little. Could life in the U.S. really be better than those leisurely days we spent in Xuzhou?
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