Liu Dashao nodded toward Old Lady Fan. Dog Egg’s mother also approached, squatting in front of Liu Dashao and gripping his shoulders, saying, “Master Dog, our little Mazi will depend on you from now on!” As she spoke, her voice became choked with emotion, tears spilling from her eyes. Liu Dashao quickly wiped the tears from her face and patted his chest reassuringly, saying, “Auntie, don’t cry. As long as I’m here, nothing will happen to little Mazi and the others. Rest assured, Old Lady Fan and I will return soon.”
The preparation ceremony for descending to the underworld finally began. Old Lady Fan first lit incense in the main hall, then burned a pile of spirit money. Meanwhile, Liu Laoshi caught a rooster from his chicken coop. Old Lady Fan took the rooster from him, holding it by its wings. The rooster, seemingly aware of its impending doom, didn’t even cry out—it simply widened its eyes and shook its head from side to side. Old Lady Fan bowed three times toward the smoldering incense with the rooster in hand, then pinched its comb, causing it to bleed. The rooster, startled by the pain, let out a couple of loud squawks, and blood began to seep from its comb. Liu Laoshi quickly held out a bowl to catch the dripping blood. When enough had been collected, Old Lady Fan released the rooster.
Then, holding the bowl of chicken blood, Old Lady Fan closed her eyes and began chanting incantations. She dipped her finger into the blood and smeared it across Liu Dashao’s forehead. As she did so, she muttered, “This chicken blood will open your ‘third eye,’ allowing you to see everything in the underworld.” After applying the blood, she tied a black ribbon around Liu Dashao’s waist. When everything was ready, she instructed him, “Liu’s eldest grandson, repeat what I just told you.”
Liu Dashao gave a bitter smile and said, “I remember. I must hold your hand tightly, not wander off, and point out Guoqiang and the others immediately when I see them.” Old Lady Fan nodded in approval.
But at that moment, Liu Dashao was wondering: where exactly would this old witch enter the underworld? Would they need to find a deep well and jump in? As he was lost in thought, Old Lady Fan called him to take off his shoes and lie down on the bed in the main hall. Liu Dashao obeyed, and his father quickly covered him with a thick blanket as instructed.
“Liu’s eldest grandson, close your eyes and don’t think too much. We’re about to begin,” Old Lady Fan said. Liu Dashao quickly closed his eyes. For some reason, he suddenly felt uneasy and secretly opened one eye to peek at Old Lady Fan, who was sitting in a chair in front of him, drinking some water and leaning over the table motionless. Liu Laoshi, watching his son peeking, quickly whispered in his ear, “You little brat, close your eyes and don’t think too much—just like you’re going to sleep at night.” Liu Dashao had no choice but to obey and closed his eyes, waiting quietly for the moment they would arrive in the underworld.
One minute, two minutes… After about ten minutes, Liu Dashao began to feel drowsy. He tried to open his eyes to see what was happening around him, but found he couldn’t. It felt like he was trapped in a nightmare. Fear began to rise in his heart as he struggled to wake up, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t. Suddenly, his body convulsed violently, and he felt as if he had awoken from a nightmare. At that moment, a voice whispered in his ear: “Liu’s eldest grandson, open your eyes. We’ve arrived.” Liu Dashao recognized the voice immediately—it was Old Lady Fan.
He quickly opened his eyes and looked around. Everything was dim, like the evening before winter dusk. He turned to Old Lady Fan and asked, “Grandma, is this the underworld?” Old Lady Fan nodded and took Liu Dashao’s hand, walking forward. Strangely, although Liu Dashao was walking with Old Lady Fan, he couldn’t see the path beneath his feet, nor could he see anyone around them. Old Lady Fan whispered, “Liu’s eldest grandson, keep your eyes sharp. Let me know immediately if you see the other three kids.” Liu Dashao nodded.
Holding tightly to Old Lady Fan’s hand, he walked forward while scanning the surroundings. After walking for about half an hour, they saw a figure in red clothes slowly floating toward them. Liu Dashao stared intently at the approaching figure. Old Lady Fan whispered in his ear, “Grandson, quickly close your eyes and don’t look.” Curious and not taking her seriously, Liu Dashao continued watching as the red-clothed figure drew closer. Finally, he saw her clearly—it was a young, beautiful woman wearing a red qipao.
As the qipao-clad woman passed by, Liu Dashao couldn’t help but turn his head to watch her go. Old Lady Fan pulled him along, her brows furrowing as she quickened her pace. When Liu Dashao finally turned back, he was startled—suddenly, a terrifying face appeared right in front of him. The face was so frightening that Liu Dashao fell to the ground in shock, his mouth agape and unable to speak. The face was grotesque: the scalp hung over the forehead, the left eye was missing, leaving only a black hole, and the right eye bulged out like a bull’s. The entire face looked as if it had been painted with a layer of white flour.
Seeing this, Old Lady Fan quickly helped Liu Dashao up and comforted him, “Grandson, don’t be afraid. That sister likes you and was just playing with you. Look behind you again.” Following Old Lady Fan’s words, Liu Dashao nervously turned to look again. It was the same qipao-clad woman, who now smiled faintly at him before turning and drifting away.
Old Lady Fan shook her head silently, “This qipao girl must have carried many sorrows in life. She probably ended her life by jumping from a building.” She sighed deeply.
The path in the underworld was different from that in the human world. It felt as if a thin mist covered the ground, making each step feel uncertain. As they walked further, more people appeared on the road—elderly people leaning on canes, little girls crying while hugging teddy bears, and middle-aged men frequently looking back…
Everyone on the road had gloomy expressions. Liu Dashao guessed that many of them were still attached to the human world. At this moment, Old Lady Fan reminded him, “Grandson, you must keep a sharp eye out. If we miss them, it will be a big problem.”
Liu Dashao nodded. Truthfully, this trip to the underworld had left him somewhat disappointed. He hadn’t seen the legendary ox-headed and horse-faced guardians, nor the Bridge of Helplessness, let alone the judges or the King of Hell. But upon reflection, it made sense—officials like the judges and the King of Hell wouldn’t be easily accessible to just anyone. Even this old witch might never have encountered them in her lifetime.
Liu Dashao and Old Lady Fan walked a long way but still couldn’t find any trace of Tian Guoqiang and the others. Old Lady Fan said, “Grandson, let’s walk a bit further. If we still can’t find them, we’ll have to go back. If we stay too long, the ghost officers might discover us, and that would be a problem.”
Liu Dashao, naturally curious, immediately asked what would happen if they were discovered by the ghost officers. Old Lady Fan shook her head with a bitter smile, saying, “If we are discovered, it will be difficult for us to return. The underworld does not permit the living to come down随意, and if we stay too long, your father and the parents of the other children will become worried.”
“But that won’t work! You said earlier they were fresh souls who just arrived. They can only stay in this part of the underworld for a few hours. If we give up now, once they’re taken to another hell, we’ll never have a chance to save them!”
“Grandson, I understand what you’re saying,” Old Lady Fan nodded. “But there are rules in the human world, and there are rules in the underworld. We can only do our best. Whether these three children can survive depends on fate.”
“No way! Guoqiang, Dog Egg, and Xiao Mazi are my brothers. I can’t just abandon them. No matter what, I’m going to save them today.”
“Stubborn!”
Liu Dashao and Old Lady Fan continued walking for a long time. Ahead, he spotted a chubby figure that looked very young. Most importantly, it looked like Dog Egg. Liu Dashao immediately pointed at the figure and said to Old Lady Fan, “Grandma, that person ahead looks like Dog Egg.”
Old Lady Fan’s eyes lit up, and she quickly signaled Liu Dashao to be quiet. She then pulled him forward, quickening their pace. When they were about five or six meters away from the crowd, Liu Dashao could clearly see the clothes and the distinctive fat around the waist. He was now certain of his guess. Overjoyed, he couldn’t help but wave and call out loudly, “Dog Egg! I’ve come to find you! Where are Guoqiang and the others?”
At that moment, everyone in the crowd turned to look at Liu Dashao in surprise.
The chubby figure also turned around. Liu Dashao looked closely and realized it was indeed Dog Egg. Moreover, not far from him stood Xiao Mazi and Tian Guoqiang. Seeing his best friends, Liu Dashao immediately let go of Old Lady Fan’s hand and ran toward them. As soon as Tian Guoqiang saw Liu Dashao, he hurriedly asked, “Dog Shao, how did you get here?”
Without a word, Liu Dashao immediately hugged Tian Guoqiang tightly, saying, “Qiangzi, I’ve come to bring you back. We four rascals can’t be separated by those five old bastards at Lingguan Temple! Haha, I’m so happy to see you guys. It’s sweeter than eating honey and more comfortable than touching a swallow.”
However, as soon as Liu Dashao hugged Tian Guoqiang, Tian’s body twitched as if struck by electricity and was flung far away. Nearby, Dog Egg and Xiao Mazi were also thrown back by an invisible force, rolling several somersaults. Liu Dashao was shocked by the scene and stood there, dazed and confused, holding his head.
Old Lady Fan quickly came over and reminded him, “Grandson, don’t touch them. They are still ghosts, while you have the protection of a Pixiu, radiating righteous energy. This will harm them.” Upon hearing this, Liu Dashao finally realized the situation.
Old Lady Fan looked at Tian Guoqiang, took out a yellow talisman from her pocket, tore it into three pieces, and handed them over, saying, “Stick these on your foreheads and don’t take them off. Quickly follow me back. I and Liu Dashao came down especially to fetch you.”
“You… you’re the Flower-Watching Grandma?” Tian Guoqiang’s eyes lit up as he recognized Old Lady Fan.
“Right, right. Good kid, you still remember me,” Old Lady Fan affectionately patted his head. “Unlike certain ungrateful bastards who pretend not to know me, making it seem like I would kill them over a pumpkin patch.” She glanced meaningfully at Liu Dashao as she spoke.
“Didn’t my dad already pay you back? Why do you keep bringing it up?” Liu Dashao, quick-witted, immediately understood who Old Lady Fan was referring to and muttered under his breath.
Old Lady Fan ignored Liu Dashao and pointed at the talisman in Tian Guoqiang’s hand, “Child, quickly stick it on! Without it, you might lose your soul along the way.”
Tian Guoqiang nodded and did as instructed.
Liu Dashao wanted to sit down with Tian Guoqiang and the others to chat about their experiences on this trip. However, Old Lady Fan was impatient and quickly urged them, “You brats, hurry up and follow me. If we’re late, there will be trouble.” Thus, the four children reluctantly followed Old Lady Fan along the path they had come.
Unexpectedly, as soon as the three of them started walking, the other souls on the underworld path began to clamor, asking Old Lady Fan to take them away too. The crowd surged toward Old Lady Fan and Liu Dashao like a tide. Helplessly, the two stopped and spread their arms to protect Tian Guoqiang and the others, preventing the crowd from getting too close. The underworld path became as chaotic as a traffic jam on a highway.
At that moment, Liu Dashao, already overwhelmed, heard a loud voice from behind: “Don’t move around! Everyone stand still!” Liu Dashao didn’t know who was shouting, but the voice sounded strangely familiar, though he couldn’t place it immediately. Beside him, Old Lady Fan’s expression suddenly changed. Her face turned from yellow to white, then from white to black. She said anxiously, “Oh no! This is a problem. The ghost officers are here.”
The crowd, frightened by the ghost officer’s shout, retreated timidly, leaving only Liu Dashao and the four others standing there like wooden statues. He had expected the ghost officers to look like Zhong Kui in the paintings—if not as fierce as Zhong Kui, at least somewhat like the fierce-looking Li Kui. But reality proved this was just his wishful thinking. Just like how someone named “A Biao” doesn’t necessarily have to be burly—can’t a refined scholar also be named “A Biao”?
In fact, the ghost officer standing before us looked no different from ordinary people in terms of appearance and clothing. His age was about the same as that of a father.
The ghost officer in the white hemp robe looked at the group, first surprised, then sniffed the air with his sharp nose like a dog. The playful smile on his face immediately froze, and his expression changed 360 degrees. He pointed at Old Lady Fan and shouted, “Looks like you really don’t want to live anymore! What are you doing coming down here when you should be living peacefully in the human world?” Old Lady Fan quickly stepped forward, bowed, and smiled apologetically, “Mr. Wu Chang, I even know your team leader. We came here mainly to take someone with us. Please be kind and let us go.”
The ghost officer snorted coldly and said, “Do you think the souls in the underworld can be taken away by you just like that? Leave the three children here and go back immediately. I won’t pursue this matter further. But if you insist on going against me—”
“Don’t expect me to show mercy!” the ghost officer in the black robe raised his weeping staff and added with a grim face.
Seeing that the two ghost officers were unyielding, Old Lady Fan had no choice but to negotiate with them, “Honorable officers, I think you must not be fully aware of the situation since you are busy with matters in the underworld. These three children are not here because their time has come. They were taken by evil spirits. If you let them go, name any condition you want. We will fulfill it without hesitation.”
The ghost officer in the white robe seemed uninterested in Old Lady Fan’s attempt to bribe him and still kept a stern expression, “You don’t need to waste your breath on me. I won’t agree. A thousand years ago, King Guang of Qin established a rule: no matter who they are or how they arrived, once they come here, they cannot return. As for that little ghost with you, since you brought him down, I can’t do anything about it. Still, I advise you to leave here as soon as possible.”
Among the three children, Tian Guoqiang was the most composed. Seeing that the two ghost officers remained unmoved by either persuasion or threats, he approached Liu Dashao and said, “Dog Shao, I think you should leave me behind and go back with Grandma. The four of us once, in a moment of youthful recklessness, beheaded a chicken, burned yellow paper, and swore brotherhood by the tiny land temple at the village head. We haven’t done a single good deed, but we’ve never missed out on any mischief either. I don’t expect any nonsense like sharing life and death or sharing blessings and hardships. Today, you risked your life to come looking for us, which proves you care about us. We appreciate your feelings. Just don’t forget to burn some pretty maids, incense, and spirit money for us during festivals. Otherwise, I’ll be the first to haunt you in your dreams!” After Tian Guoqiang finished speaking, Dog Egg and Xiao Mazi exchanged glances but said nothing, only laughing foolishly to show their agreement.
Tian Guoqiang’s words made Liu Dashao feel a lump in his throat, as if he wanted to cry. Perhaps moved by his words, Old Lady Fan suddenly became angry and, pulling her waistband, roared at the white-robed ghost officer, “I’m taking them with me today. Do you really think you can stop me?”
“Oh?” The white-robed ghost officer exchanged glances with his black-robed companion. The white-robed one first shook his shoulders and laughed exaggeratedly, while the black-robed one remained upright like a bamboo pole, letting out a cold snort through his nose, clearly showing disdain.
After a moment, the white-robed ghost officer stopped laughing, his eyes sharpening, “Old lady, it’s good to be confident, but don’t overdo it.”
“Old fool!” The black-robed ghost officer interjected. He was indeed peculiar, speaking only a few words at a time, in stark contrast to the talkative white-robed officer. His voice was extremely cold, giving a chilling feeling even under the blazing sun.
The white-robed ghost officer took a step forward, a playful smile appearing on his lips, “The reason my brother and I are being so kind and advising you gently at first is not because we are afraid. It’s just that we are a bit kinder than our colleagues in other regions. As the saying goes, the living and the dead are separated by fate. If you still——”
“You’re asking for it.” The black-robed ghost officer abruptly interrupted, this time not only cutting off the white-robed one but also completing his intended meaning, albeit not very politely. The white-robed ghost officer didn’t seem to mind and continued with a smile, “Then my brother and I will have to follow the rules and deal with you——”
“Eliminate you!” The black-robed ghost officer said.
The two ghost officers played the good cop and bad cop roles, not giving an inch and insisting on keeping Dog Egg and the others. As for Old Lady Fan’s threats, they treated them as jokes.
Old Lady Fan let out a loud shout, completely overwhelmed by anger and frustration. She also knew very well that her limited magical abilities wouldn’t stand a chance against the two ghost officers in front of her. If they really fought, even a single finger from them could crush her like an ant. Therefore, after calming down, she immediately felt that she had acted too impulsively. If one careless word upset them, the white ghost officer might be manageable, but the black one… Just thinking about it made Old Lady Fan break out in cold sweat. Impulse is the devil!
“Ah, come on, come on, we’re busy! No time to mess around with you!” The white ghost officer, seeing that Old Lady Fan and the others had no intention of leaving, couldn’t help but come forward to pull her.
Liu Dashao was just thinking where the voice sounded familiar when he saw the white ghost officer pulling Old Lady Fan. He immediately realized that there was no hope for Dog Egg and the others since the black and white ghost officers wouldn’t let them go. Instantly, Liu Dashao became anxious and shouted at the top of his voice, “Grandma! We can’t abandon Dog Egg and the others!”
Upon hearing this, Old Lady Fan, for some unknown reason, suddenly found the courage. Regardless of whether she could offend the black and white ghost officers or not, she stretched out her two claw-like hands and started a tug-of-war with the white ghost officer who was pulling her.
As the white ghost officer pulled Old Lady Fan’s arm outward, she used her two clawed hands to desperately cling to his arm, her old face flushed red as she shouted, “Help! The ghost officer is beating me! Come and help!”
Back and forth they pulled, but Old Lady Fan didn’t move an inch. Watching from the side, the black ghost officer became impatient. He suddenly roared, “Enough! Get out of here now!”
His voice was so loud that it immediately stunned Old Lady Fan and the others. The white ghost officer knew his iron-faced brother was angry and could only reluctantly shrug and step aside. When the black ghost officer got angry, the consequences were severe.
The black ghost officer, his face dark as thunder, rushed toward Old Lady Fan. An old village woman like Old Lady Fan had never seen such a scene before. Even dealing with a small snake demon would take all her effort. How could she handle the famous black ghost officer?
As the black ghost officer approached angrily, Old Lady Fan silently cursed, “Oh no, I’ve really angered him! He’s not as easy to trick as that stupid snake demon!” Although she was scared, Old Lady Fan tightly held onto the sash around her waist, probably trying to give herself some psychological support.
Finally, the black ghost officer reached Old Lady Fan. At that moment, Old Lady Fan quickly pulled out an object from her sash, closed her eyes, and began waving it around frantically. She jumped around, waving the object wildly while screaming at the top of her lungs, “Aaaaaa! Don’t come closer! May the ancestral master protect me! May the Goddess of Mercy appear! May Laojun hurry as per the decree…”
Old Lady Fan was like a shaman performing a ritual, desperately waving the object in her hand while chanting a long list of deities. Finally, she even invoked the Kitchen God, the Earth God, Zhang Guolao, and even the black and white ghost officers who were after her.
The white ghost officer, watching Old Lady Fan’s performance, was amused when he heard her invoke even his own name. Looking at Old Lady Fan’s clumsy attempt to ward off the black ghost officer, he couldn’t help but feel a bit of sympathy. As the saying goes, living to eighty is rare. Seeing how hard it must have been for this old woman to live this long, and thinking back to his own days as a human, he spoke up to dissuade the black ghost officer, “Old Fan, forget it. Just drive them away. Don’t go too far.”
But the black ghost officer, already furious, wouldn’t listen. He raised his weeping stick and with a slight force, tore the object Old Lady Fan was waving into two halves.
This tear was no small matter. One half of the object “whooshed” and flew onto the black ghost officer’s face. The entire scene fell silent. Old Lady Fan had really made a mess!
Looking at the black ghost officer’s face covered by a piece of floral cloth, it didn’t look like a proper piece of fabric but more like half a pant leg. It turned out that the talisman Old Lady Fan was desperately waving around wasn’t the heavenly master’s talisman she thought it was, but an old floral panty she had bought for three yuan and fifty cents from a small stall at the market yesterday. She had intended to wear it after returning home, so she put it in her sash, never expecting it to be used in such a way!
“Hahahahaha!” The surrounding area burst into laughter. Not only did Liu Dashao and the others laugh until they couldn’t stand straight, but even the other ghosts nearby, although they couldn’t laugh as freely as Liu Dashao and his friends, also let out intermittent laughter.
Only Old Lady Fan, still jumping around with her eyes closed, was completely unaware of what was happening around her…
“Oh no, this is bad! Old Fan, you must stay calm!” Bai Wuchang, usually cheerful and lively, did not laugh this time. Instead, he anxiously shouted at Hei Wuchang, sounding as if he were trying to stop him from doing something, clearly extremely worried.
Amidst everyone’s laughter, Black Chang伸出 one hand, slowly gripping the flowery trouser leg covering his face, and then yanked it down fiercely. Exposing a face filled with terror, Black Chang, whose temper was already notorious for being short, roared furiously with his two sharp, elongated ghostly fangs bared: “Damn it! I’ll kill you all!”
“Whoosh—” a chilling gust of wind arose around Hei Wu Chang. The mournful wailing emitted by the funeral staff in his hand sent eerie ghostly cries that made people shudder involuntarily and dare not ignore its presence.
“Die!” Hei Wuchang swung the mourning staff in his hand, sending a swift gust of black eerie wind straight toward Old Lady Fan, who was in the midst of performing a shamanistic dance.
It seemed that Old Lady Fan was beyond salvation, but then an even stronger gust of white wind blocked the black wind emitted by the Black Reaper. Needless to say, this white wind was certainly released by the White Reaper.
“Grass! What are you doing!?” the Black Yama roared furiously at the White Yama.
“What the hell! What are you shouting for?” Bai Wuchang said,掏ing his ringing ear.
“What are you blocking me for!?” the Black Wraith shot back with a glare, though his voice had softened considerably.
“Do you see the young man next to that old woman? Do you still remember him?” Bai Wuchang pointed toward Liu Dashaos, who stood beside Old Lady Fan, and said.
“Who’s that? Don’t know him! Do we even know any living people? Are you running a fever?” the Black Null glanced over and sneered.
“Terrible memory!” Bai Wuchang lightly slapped Hei Wuchang at the back of his head, then reminded him, saying, “You forgot? Roast rabbit! Sworn brotherhood!”
Upon hearing what Bai Wuchang said, Hei Wuchang suddenly recalled something. He cast a few fierce glances toward that young man and finally revealed a long-forgotten smile—one that actually looked more painful than crying.
“Hahahahahaha! So it’s you, Third Brother! How come you ended up here?” Hei Wuchang, straightforward by nature, waved at Liu Dasha as soon as he approached.
When Liu Dashao heard the Black Wuchang, who moments ago had seemed so fierce and menacing, now greeting him with a pleasant expression, it seemed that the two of them actually shared quite a good relationship.
“Who are you?” Liu Da Shao asked timidly.
“What? Forgot me already? It’s me, Fan Ba!” the Black Yamen Officer replied cheerfully. When old friends meet, they’re especially warm and affectionate! The unpleasantness from just now had long been cast into the ninth heaven, forgotten entirely.
“Oh! It’s you two! I thought so — that voice sounded so familiar just now! Hey, Big Brother! Did you two die too? And became yamen runners? You’ve really got some power!” shouted Liu Da Shao excitedly.
It turned out that White Impermanence had long found the little ghost beside Old Lady Fan strangely familiar, but had not yet confirmed his suspicion. Now, however, everything became clear!
“Hehehe…” The two ghosts stood side by side, snickering in an extremely creepy manner, leaving Grandma Fan and the others utterly baffled. What? Calling ghost catchers ‘brother’? Oh my goodness! The world has gone crazy—mice are even serving as best men at cats’ weddings!
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