“It seems like that,” Hun Yuanzi, the most irresponsible master in the world, said casually, “Maybe we should try treating a dead horse like a living one.”
“What do you mean by that?”
Hun Yuanzi was silent for a moment, then seriously suggested, “Good disciple, why don’t you just listen to that girl and obediently commit suicide? I think she could be a great candidate for our sect, and I could transfer to her instead…”
“You wish!” Yang Hao immediately interrupted. “Haven’t you caused me enough trouble? I’m determined to take you to that wretched cave and bury you there, where you’ll never see daylight again.”
“Why must we destroy each other? We have a duty to promote the Dual Cultivation Sect.”
“Then don’t make me die,” Yang Hao muttered. For a long time, he had been led astray by Hun Yuanzi, but today, for the first time, he had gained a slight upper hand.
“I don’t know what sin I committed to end up with a disciple like you,” Hun Yuanzi sighed. “Alright, alright, then just refine some pills.”
“I’ve refined so many pills already; I could last a month.”
“Who told you to refine the Longhu Dahuandan (Dragon-Tiger Great Rejuvenation Pill)?” Hun Yuanzi sounded exasperated. “You idiot, have you forgotten everything I taught you?”
“Hey! Old man, aside from teaching me how to flirt with girls, what else did you teach me?” Yang Hao shot back.
Hun Yuanzi, sensing the urgency of the moment, decided not to argue further. “I’ve always told you that the Longhu Dahuandan is also known as the Fundamental Pill. Every auxiliary pill originates from variations of this pill. Today, I want you to create the first variation of the Longhu Dahuandan.”
“Variations of pills?”
“Of course! Different ingredients yield different effects. Different combinations lead to different results.” Hun Yuanzi rambled on, “The Longhu Dahuandan primarily replenishes energy. But when combined with other herbs, it can produce additional effects on top of the energy boost.”
“Additional effects?”
“Prejudice!” Hun Yuanzi declared proudly. “In ancient times, when people made cough syrup, they discovered a bubbling side effect, which eventually led to the invention of cola. Side effects can be both good and bad.”
“I guess that makes sense… but what does cola have to do with this?” Yang Hao loved cola. This classic beverage had remained popular from ancient times all the way through the space age.
Following Hun Yuanzi’s instructions, Yang Hao began refining the pills using the method of the Longhu Dahuandan. Amanda had already grown accustomed to Yang Hao’s habit of talking to himself, so she simply sat there, legs crossed, watching the holographic TV.
After several days of refining pills, Yang Hao had become quite skilled. Soon, the Longhu Dahuandan had solidified and was ready to be taken out.
At this crucial moment, Hun Yuanzi mysteriously said, “Good disciple, now I’ll teach you the first variation of the Longhu Dahuandan—the method for creating the Strength-Enhancing Pill.”
“The Strength-Enhancing Pill?” Yang Hao muttered, thinking it sounded suspiciously like a quack’s “miracle pill.”
“Now! Quickly pour the cola onto the pill!” Hun Yuanzi’s words were shocking.
“Cola?” Yang Hao actually had a can in his hand, but looking at the aluminum can in one hand and the black little pill emitting a foul smell from the pill furnace, he hesitated—these two things didn’t seem to go together at all. “Are you serious? I worked so hard to make this pill.”
“Hurry up!!!” Hun Yuanzi raised his voice.
Yang Hao gritted his teeth and poured the entire can of cola into the pill furnace. The furnace was already thousands of degrees hot; the sudden introduction of a cold beverage caused a violent hissing sound. Amid thick brown smoke, the furnace turned brown and lost its previous luster.
Yang Hao’s eyes widened as he watched the transformation inside the furnace. The previously black and foul-smelling pill had turned into a single red pill.
“What is this?” Yang Hao pinched the pill between his fingers. It was scalding hot, forcing him to switch hands repeatedly just to hold it.
“This is the Strength-Enhancing Pill,” Hun Yuanzi said proudly. “This variation method was my original invention. I used to love cola so much that once when I was refining pills, I accidentally spilled some into the furnace—and this came out.”
“You’ve got to be kidding…” Yang Hao felt dizzy. “Isn’t pill refining supposed to be a precise and serious process? How can you just improvise like this?”
“Hmph! What’s there to fear? Only those outdated old fools stick rigidly to ancient methods. I, your master, am very progressive,” Hun Yuanzi boasted. “Next time, good disciple, you should also experiment with pill variations like your master.”
“So… can I just throw anything into the pills?”
“Of course! Don’t you know that Edison tried thousands of times before inventing the light bulb? Failure doesn’t matter as long as you’re willing to try…”
“Wait a second…” Yang Hao suddenly thought of an important question. “But who’s going to take these experimental pills? What if someone dies from them?”
“Well, that’s what disciples are for.” Hun Yuanzi’s words chilled Yang Hao to the bone.
“No way! I’m not taking it!” Yang Hao threw the pill away.
“Relax, good disciple. This kind of pill has already been tested by someone before,” Hun Yuanzi reassured him with his usual mix of intimidation and encouragement. “Besides, if you don’t take it, how will you fight your way into the Dark Beast’s lair?”
“I really have no choice,” Yang Hao muttered helplessly. He reluctantly picked up the strange Strength-Enhancing Pill and shoved it into his mouth.
Although this pill was a variation of the Longhu Dahuandan, it felt completely different. First of all, it was more than twice the size of the original—almost like a glass marble. It was red in color and didn’t emit the usual foul smell. Yang Hao had assumed it would taste better, but the moment it touched his tongue, he realized he had been tricked.
This experience taught Yang Hao a valuable lesson: things that look ugly aren’t necessarily bad to eat, but things that look good are almost certainly terrible.
This Strength-Enhancing Pill was, quite simply, a hundred times worse than the worst pill in the world.
As soon as it hit his tongue, the pill mixed with his saliva and began emitting a foul, sour odor. Worse still, it started to fizz, causing Yang Hao’s mouth to erupt with white bubbles, making a bubbling sound.
“This tastes awful!!!” Yang Hao grimaced and shouted. At the moment he opened his mouth wide, the pill, which hadn’t even dissolved yet, suddenly slid down his throat on its own.
Then came the strange reaction…
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