Chapter 153: Disaster at Dragon Cliff (1)

Hao couldn’t believe that Xin Mei had such a trick up her sleeve. He was stunned. He couldn’t back down now—he had already told a lie, and yet the wind blade materializing in his hand gleamed with golden light, as if deliberately flaunting its presence.

“Uh… haha,” he stammered, “this knife… it’s for the goddess of the celestial race. I admire her too much to even think of using it against her!”

“What is that knife supposed to be for?” Titan’s voice turned icy cold, his murderous glare enough to kill.

“The knife… well… it’s just a regular blade,” Yang Hao quickly improvised. “Actually, I brought it to trim your toenails, Titan brother! Look at your big feet—they’re covered in dead skin, and your nails are way too long. If I don’t trim them, you’ll be disgracing the Titan name!”

“Is that even possible?” Xin Mei was wide-eyed at Yang Hao’s quick thinking.

“Of course it is!” Yang Hao waved his wind blade proudly. “I may not be much, but I am the so-called number one foot-care artisan in the universe! I once studied under the legendary foot-care master Hun Yuan Zi, and I’m the top disciple of the Dual-Care Foot-Care School!”

“Damn it!” Master Hun Yuan Zi was furious and frustrated that Yang Hao had turned his noble sect into a foot-care school, but he dared not show it, muttering curses under his breath.

Still, as absurd as Yang Hao’s story was, it was just convincing enough to fool a brute like Titan. After furrowing his brow in thought, Titan actually nodded, seemingly convinced.

“The world is vast and full of wonders,” Titan sighed, clearly deep in thought. “Even foot care requires dual techniques. I must have been isolated for too long to be so ignorant.”

“Not at all! Not at all!” Yang Hao was barely able to contain his laughter. He had just made this up on the spot, so of course no one else had heard of it. “Now, let me show you my Dual-Care Foot Technique. ‘Dual-Care’ means using two blades. It’s not a big deal if you don’t get it done, but once you do, you’ll be amazed! After this, Titan Brother, you’ll be sprinting like the wind and feeling refreshed and energetic!”

With that, Yang Hao pulled out another ice blade and prepared to go to work on Titan’s massive foot. After all, the monster had thick skin and wouldn’t feel a thing.

“Wait!” Just as Yang Hao was about to start chopping, Titan suddenly called a halt.

Yang Hao froze in fear, thinking his trick had been discovered. He trembled and looked up at the sky.

Titan’s monstrous face descended from the heavens, looming even closer now. It was no longer just a dark cloud overhead—it was a total eclipse, with his hairy face completely filling the space.

“There’s no need to trim my feet,” Titan grumbled. “It takes years for the sensation to reach my brain anyway. Since you’re a dual-care specialist, how about trimming my nose hair instead?”

“Nose hair?” Yang Hao inwardly sighed in relief, grateful that Titan hadn’t seen through him. But when he looked up and saw what Titan called “nose hair,” all his relief vanished.

High above, Titan’s face loomed like a massive spacecraft, and from his two nostrils—each as large as Yang Hao himself—hung two enormous tufts of black hair. They were not head hairs—they were definitely nose hairs. Long and unkempt, they fluttered in the air like willow branches.

To Yang Hao’s surprise, Titan’s expression softened. Seeing that Yang Hao wasn’t tall enough, he crouched down and brought his nose closer, waiting for Yang Hao to begin.

Yang Hao had never done anything like this in his life. Even his own nose hairs were trimmed by his senior apprentice sister. Now, faced with a monster’s nose hairs that hadn’t been trimmed in years, it took all his willpower just to stay standing.

But there was no turning back now. Yang Hao had another plan—Titan clearly held a much higher status than Xin Mei, so if he could please him, maybe he could save his own life instead of becoming Xin Mei’s sex slave.

With that thought, Yang Hao steeled himself and approached Titan’s nose-hair forest with his two blades, ready to start trimming with his sword skills.

But just then, Yang Hao noticed Titan’s eyes narrowing, and a glint of mischief flashed in them.

Yang Hao didn’t quite catch on at first. He thought maybe Titan was enjoying the trimming, so he worked even faster and harder.

But soon, something strange happened. The nose hairs beneath his blades began to tremble, as if a massive storm was brewing. Titan’s nose—bigger than a person—started twitching, and the tip quivered like it was dancing.

A deep, rumbling thunder echoed from the sky.

The heavens were about to change, and the sun and moon dimmed.

In an instant, Yang Hao felt something was terribly wrong. The air around him began to thin rapidly—something monumental was about to happen.

“Not good!” Master Hun Yuan Zi, ever the seasoned veteran, was the first to sense danger. “This monster is about to—”

“What?!” Yang Hao was alarmed and quickly asked.

Before Hun Yuan Zi could finish, a deafening roar cut him off.

Boom! Boom! Boom!

It was like a series of bombs exploding, shaking the heavens with a force a hundred times stronger than thunder. Every sound in every direction was drowned out. The air currents accelerated a thousandfold, whipping up winds fiercer than hurricanes!

Yang Hao was hovering midair—right in the path of those violent gusts. Under the relentless bombardment, his vision blurred, and he was hurled toward the ground like he’d been struck by a hundred hammers.

He felt like every bone in his body had been shattered. Even in past battles, he had never suffered such a brutal beating. If it weren’t for the Ice Muscle Iron Skin Ointment he had applied earlier during his fight with Xin Mei, he would have been reduced to dust.

After those devastating blows, Yang Hao was buried deep into the earth, unable to move. Above, in addition to the continuous thunderous booms, came a torrent of foul-smelling rain, pouring down directly on him for several minutes.

“What kind of cursed storm is this?” Yang Hao groaned, cursing the place. “No warning before the thunderstorm? You almost killed me!”

“That’s not thunder!” Hun Yuan Zi was furious. Though he had no physical form to be hurt, Yang Hao’s injuries had affected him as well.

“If it’s not thunder, then what is it?” Yang Hao was still dazed, not understanding what had happened.

The thunder finally stopped, and the rain ceased. Titan slowly stood up, poking his nose with a finger as thick as a tree trunk, and said contentedly, “That was one hell of a sneeze!”

“A sneeze!” Yang Hao cried out in disbelief. The thunderous roar, the foul rain, and the force that had smashed him into the ground—it had all just been Titan sneezing.

“Haha, kid, did you really think a Titan could be so easily fooled?” Titan laughed heartily, no longer paying any attention to Yang Hao. He took a step and was already a hundred kilometers away, disappearing in just a few strides.

Now, the only sound left in the area was the lingering echo of Titan’s sneeze, and the only one left was Yang Hao, trapped beneath the earth, completely powerless.

Xin Mei stood nearby, clearly delighted. She kicked Yang Hao’s face with her foot, mocking him, “Stupid fool, Titan is one of the most important ancient deities. Did you really think he was some dumb brute you could trick? He was just letting you taste the power of his sneeze—it was actually quite merciful.”

Yang Hao wanted to cry but had no tears left. If he had known this would happen, he wouldn’t have pretended to be a foot-care master or tried to pluck Titan’s nose hairs. Now he was covered in snot, buried in the ground, and completely at the mercy of this terrifying OL goddess. Things couldn’t get any worse.

Xin Mei, of course, knew she now had the upper hand. She wanted revenge for the earlier humiliation. She pressed her beautiful foot harder against Yang Hao’s face, as if trying to flatten it into a pancake.

“Hey, I can see your underwear!” Yang Hao, in excruciating pain, still managed to crack a joke.

“What did you say?” Xin Mei’s fury erupted.

Yang Hao groaned inwardly. He knew better than to talk back now, so he forced a painful smile. “Goddess, don’t be so rough. Let’s talk things through nicely.”

“Talk nicely?” Xin Mei sneered. “Where was your ‘nicely’ when you had a blade to my throat?”

“Misunderstanding! Just a misunderstanding!” Yang Hao’s smile was more painful than his injuries. “It was just a joke! You know, ‘hitting is affection, scolding is love.’ I was just trying to express my admiration for you, my goddess!”

“‘Hitting is affection, scolding is love’?” Xin Mei smacked Yang Hao’s head. “Fine, then let me show you how much I ‘love’ you!”

As the fierce woman raised her arm, ready to beat him senseless, Yang Hao quickly shouted, “Wait! Calm down!!”

“Calm my foot!”

Yang Hao groaned again. If this kept up, he was going to be beaten to death by this woman. If he had known it would come to this, he’d rather have become a slave to another deity—at least he’d still be alive.