Xiao Yufan’s heart sank into an indescribable pain, and he even blamed Mateng for telling him about Cheng Ying’s return at such a time. After their breakup, he didn’t know how he should face her again.
Since their parting in Shanghai, day and night, Xiao Yufan had longed to see Cheng Ying again, yet a sense of fear lingered in his heart—afraid that the silence and awkwardness that might follow their reunion would only deepen his pain.
Glancing at Mateng walking ahead, Mu Qing moved closer, brushing her hair blown astray by the cold wind as she spoke, “Why do you look so preoccupied? That really doesn’t seem like you anymore!”
Xiao Yufan smiled slightly and replied, “Maybe you’ve just gotten used to seeing me carefree. Does that mean only that version of me is the real me?”
“Could it be about Cheng Ying? I think she’s the only one in the world who can stir your melancholy nerves!” Mu Qing sighed. Once so free-spirited, Xiao Yufan had unexpectedly fallen into the trap of love.
Xiao Yufan simply nodded in response, then instinctively reached for a cigarette, but after a moment’s thought, he put it back. He didn’t want his mood to spoil their pre-wedding excitement.
“You’re overthinking it. I’m not that invincible, nor am I that fragile!” Xiao Yufan replied with a smile, though it appeared quite strained.
Mu Qing shrugged and said, “Yufan, only you know how you feel. The brighter your smile, the deeper your pain must be.”
“You say that like you really know me so well!” Finally, Xiao Yufan dropped the smile Mu Qing considered a mask, simply trying to prove he wasn’t as hurt as she imagined.
“After so many years of friendship, I think both Mateng and I understand you very well. Honestly, we’re both sorry for you and Cheng Ying. But I have to tell you, once a woman’s heart changes, it’s hard to return to the past. I hope you can be more carefree about it.”
Xiao Yufan remained silent for a long time before asking with a hint of bitterness, “Is love really that difficult? We’ve been together for five years. I thought if I just held on, we’d make it forever…”
“Yufan, love isn’t as simple as you think. Why Mateng and I made it to the end while you and Cheng Ying couldn’t—have you ever thought about that?”
Xiao Yufan fell silent again, though this time with a more bitter edge. Although neither Mateng nor Mu Qing came from wealthy families, their family backgrounds were decently matched. But what about him and Cheng Ying…
He clearly remembered how affluent Cheng Ying’s family was—at the very least, everything she wore and used was top brand. But was love really something that should be measured by material wealth? He didn’t quite understand.
“It’s enough to have had a deeply memorable past. At least the memories will carry a lingering fragrance!” Xiao Yufan sighed deeply. What else could he say? Sometimes silence speaks louder than words. Perhaps, slowly, he was beginning to understand.
…
Recently, Mateng and Mu Qing had been busy with work and hadn’t yet prepared all the essential items for their wedding. By the time Xiao Yufan helped them complete the shopping list for the wedding, it was already late into the night. Naturally, he stayed at Mateng’s house and enjoyed his first dinner in Beijing that gave him a warm, homey feeling.
“Yufan, there’s a new housing development near our place. If you go see it with our property certificate and residence permit, you might get an insider price—saving about a hundred thousand or so on a house!” During dinner, Mu Qing casually brought up the topic of the new development…
“Uh-huh…” Xiao Yufan simply responded, continuing to eat his unfinished meal.
“This development is great—it has convenient transportation, and who knows when another opportunity like this will come again. Why don’t you use our documents to check it out? If it works out, you could reserve a unit!” Mateng added, supporting the idea.
“Reserve what? You know my financial situation better than anyone.”
“Mu Qing and I can lend you part of the money first, and then you can ask Uncle for some more. That should cover the down payment—no problem!”
“You two must be swimming in money! You’re getting married soon—don’t you need money for everything? Don’t worry about me. I’m doing just fine living like this!”
“We’re thinking about you. Buy a house first, and it’ll be easier to find a girlfriend here. Seeing you alone like this makes us really anxious!”
“You make it sound so easy, but how would I pay the mortgage after buying a house? I can barely support myself now, let alone afford any loans… You two should stop worrying about me and focus on getting your own things sorted out first!”
Xiao Yufan put down his chopsticks, glanced at the wall-mounted perpetual calendar, and stood up immediately—it was almost midnight. He couldn’t possibly stay and disturb their evening.
…
Watching Xiao Yufan’s lonely figure walk away, Mateng and Mu Qing exchanged glances and sighed softly. If they couldn’t persuade him now, there would surely be another chance in the future…
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