Chapter 189: Silly Egg

“Do not look at what is improper to see…”

Shui Miao thought to himself, but his eyes couldn’t help but glance a few times. This was only natural for any normal man; after all, who wouldn’t want to take a few peeks at such a beautiful sight unless something was physically wrong with him?

After stealing a couple of glances, Shui Miao turned his head back and prepared to leave.

It wasn’t that Shui Miao had any physiological issues—it was just that his stomach was getting increasingly hungry.

Many people have heard the saying, “When warm and well-fed, lustful thoughts arise,” but few have heard of “When hungry, lustful thoughts arise.”

As Shui Miao turned around, just about to leave, he noticed a small green snake on a leaf, about the size of a pair of chopsticks, its color blending perfectly with the leaves. He hadn’t noticed it earlier, but now he saw it raising its head directly at him.

A green snake—undoubtedly poisonous.

And the more vivid the color, the stronger the venom.

At this moment, Shui Miao couldn’t channel his immortal powers, and was essentially an ordinary man. He couldn’t afford to be careless. Immediately, he tried to strike the snake with a stick, but the little green snake reacted far faster than he had anticipated. Like a sword, it shot toward Shui Miao and bit him on the small “black mole” on his chest.

Although small, the snake had long fangs. The pain from the bite made Shui Miao involuntarily cry out. He quickly grabbed the snake’s tail and flung it away, only to discover two bleeding puncture wounds on his mole, each one sending sharp waves of pain through him…

If bitten elsewhere, Shui Miao could have sucked out the venom, but this bite was on his chest—his mouth simply couldn’t reach it.

“Ahh! There’s someone! A man!!”

A woman’s startled scream rang out. Many women in the river hurriedly ran ashore to grab their clothes. Naked, they were a sea of pale white…

Aren’t these women foolish? Wouldn’t it have been better to stay hidden in the water?

At this moment, Shui Miao was still thinking about others, but when he saw several women who hadn’t yet undressed rushing over with firewood knives from bamboo baskets, he realized the seriousness of the situation. He was completely naked—what else could he be but a pervert? If they caught him, they’d probably kill him without hesitation!

Shui Miao quickly darted out of the bushes, running as fast as he had ever run in his life. Even if he were caught, he had to put on clothes first—that was the only thought in his mind at that moment.

After being bitten by a venomous snake, strenuous exercise was the worst thing possible, as it would accelerate the spread of venom through the bloodstream to the heart, causing rapid poisoning.

Shui Miao hadn’t run far before he felt chest tightness and a dizziness in his head…

Just as he was about to reach his clothes, Shui Miao suddenly felt sharp, intense pain in his heart. Using sheer willpower, he gritted his teeth and managed to pull on his damp pants. As he reached for his shirt, his vision suddenly darkened, his consciousness blurred, and he collapsed to the ground…

After that, Shui Miao felt himself drifting in a strange state—half-conscious, half-aware.

Soon, he sensed many women gathering around him, chattering loudly in local dialects he couldn’t understand at all.

But not long after, he felt a woman’s lips touch his chest…

Is she trying to suck out the poison?

Shui Miao wasn’t sure. In the confusion, he also felt a woman’s hands roaming all over his body…

In short, everything was a blur. Shui Miao only vaguely realized that he must have been carried away by these women—otherwise, how could he feel the sensation of rising and falling?

Perhaps because some of his immortal energy remained, Shui Miao regained consciousness halfway through being carried by the women. However, he didn’t dare to move, continuing to keep his eyes closed and pretending to be poisoned.

From what he remembered, among the ethnic minorities, people usually carried others on stretchers.

But these women simply divided themselves into groups, some lifting his arms, some his legs, and others his waist…

Shui Miao peeked through narrowed eyes and finally spotted the female pervert who had touched him secretly. She was the woman pretending to help lift his waist. She looked about twenty-something, but her body was quite robust. Her hand gripped his butt, squeezing lightly and firmly by turns, sometimes even rubbing and groping inappropriately, clearly the type who was desperate for male attention but had never had a man.

Beside him was another young beauty, about eighteen or nineteen years old, who looked very anxious, frequently checking his chest wound and talking with other women.

But because of the language barrier, Shui Miao couldn’t understand a word they said.

After a while, the group got tired and switched carriers, but the bold female pervert and the young girl remained at their posts.

What ethnic group were they, anyway?

Looking at the large group of women, could it be a special tribe where women outnumbered men?

Could I have ended up in a kingdom of women like Tang Sanzang?

Damn it, why am I thinking such nonsense at a time like this?

Right, judging by the girl’s anxious expression, she probably mistook me for the ethnic man who had drowned by the river. Yes, that must be it! Otherwise, she wouldn’t be so worried. Most likely, they were taking me somewhere to be treated for the snakebite.

Shui Miao was thinking this to himself…

Suddenly, on the mountain path, a woman at the front slipped and began sliding down the slope, but she tightly gripped Shui Miao. Because of this, she dragged Shui Miao down with her. The bold woman took advantage of the chaos to grab Shui Miao’s pants and pulled him upward.

The people above quickly pulled at Shui Miao’s legs…

Feeling his pants about to come off, the female pervert’s hands were moving lower…

This was getting dangerous. Shui Miao couldn’t pretend anymore. He quickly opened his eyes and joined everyone in pulling the woman from the slope back up.

Once the woman was pulled up, Shui Miao immediately became the center of attention.

These women seemed to have no regard for Shui Miao’s privacy—some were checking his wounds, others his eyes, and some were even touching him all over…

Unable to understand their words and hesitant to speak himself, Shui Miao could only stare blankly at the crowd.

It seemed everyone was extremely happy about his “resurrection.”

After some time, Shui Miao managed to catch the meaning of a repeated phrase they kept saying—he was now known as “Da Niu Dan” (the simpleton)…

That’s right!

He was now Da Niu Dan!

The more Shui Miao listened, the clearer it became. The drowned man was named Da Niu Dan, a fool, and now Shui Miao had become his replacement. No wonder they didn’t hold his peeping incident against him—what could a fool possibly do? No wonder that bold woman had been so shameless—what harm could there be in touching a fool?

The women seemed both surprised and excited—surprised that Da Niu Dan hadn’t died from the poison, and excited that Da Niu Dan had been found.

Yes, from their words, it was clear that Da Niu Dan had been missing for several days.

The young beauty of eighteen or nineteen, overjoyed, hugged Shui Miao tightly, burying his head in the valley between her breasts…

A little later, Shui Miao managed to understand another phrase—they were calling the young girl “Xiao Fu Xi” (Little Wife).

“Alright! White Snake Lady, I give up!” Shui Miao thought to himself. He never expected to gain the identity of a fool as soon as he arrived here. A fool’s luck—it seemed he even had a beautiful young wife now. It looked like he would have to act foolish for the next thirty years. But with this young wife treating him like this, how could he possibly maintain his act for long without slipping up?

That was indeed a troubling problem.

By chance, Shui Miao looked up and saw some bamboo houses in the mountains not far away. With his keen eyesight, he could also see yellow cattle, local dogs, mountain goats, and some villagers dressed in traditional ethnic clothing…

“Da Niu Dan, you must be hungry!”

After a while, Xiao Fu Xi finally released Shui Miao from her embrace, wiped the tears of joy from her face, and tightly held his hand. “Da Niu Dan, let’s go home! Home! To meet Father, Mother, Grandma, Grandpa, and Elder Sister…”

“Uh…”

Xiao Fu Xi spoke slowly, and Shui Miao managed to understand. It seemed he didn’t only have the benefit of having a young wife—he also had a whole family including Father, Mother, Elder Sister, Grandma, Grandpa…

“Da Niu Dan, do you still remember me? I’m Ah Zhu!” The bold female pervert approached, grabbing Shui Miao’s other hand.

Shui Miao looked at her in surprise, puzzled. Did she just say her name was Zhu (pig)?

“Zhu?”

Shui Miao couldn’t help but ask.

The bold woman nodded happily. “Yes, yes! I’m Ah Zhu, who grew up with you since childhood.”

Alright then, I know a pig now…

Shui Miao couldn’t help but laugh. He had never seen someone so happy to introduce herself as a pig.

Seeing Shui Miao smile…

The others sighed and shook their heads. One of the women in her twenties sighed and slowly said, “Ah! If Da Niu Dan weren’t a fool, Xiao Fu Xi would have been blessed. She wouldn’t have to suffer under the oppression of her Grandpa and Grandma. But at least Da Niu Dan has finally been found. If he hadn’t returned, Xiao Fu Xi would have been in even more trouble.”

This woman clearly had studied in a big city, and Shui Miao could understand about seventy or eighty percent of what she said.

So, even his beautiful young wife had her own share of unspoken bitterness and hardship!

Shui Miao couldn’t help but turn to look at Xiao Fu Xi, whose eyes were red and face pale from crying…

“Da Niu Dan, let’s go! Home!”

A woman in her thirties suddenly patted Shui Miao’s butt and cheerfully urged, “You’ve been scared and running around outside for so many days. You’re all dirty. Hurry back home so Xiao Fu Xi can make a big tub of hot water for you to wash properly. Oh, and Xiao Fu Xi, next time when you go to bathe in the Women’s River, bring this fool along to wash with us. If you let him run off again, Grandpa and Grandma will really give you a hard time. Anyway, we don’t mind him watching. What can he do anyway?”

“That’s right, that’s right…”

“…”

A large group of women actually agreed in chorus.

Xiao Fu Xi blushed and said nothing, pulling Shui Miao along as she walked…

“Xiao Fu Xi is shy…”

The woman in her thirties laughed loudly, prompting everyone to join in laughter.