Chapter 888: Moving Beyond Sorrow

I actually understand Jiang Ruoxue’s actions.

If one day she were to find me lying dead in the streets or having lost my memory… that would probably be the hardest thing for her to accept.

It would likely haunt her for as long as she remembers.

This triggered her self-preservation instinct, so for her, a clean break was the better choice—better a short pain than a long grief.

Yes… I get it…

From the perspective of “human nature”… I understand… seeking benefit and avoiding harm is just human instinct…

Though I can analyze the situation with the knowledge I’ve gained, my heart feels like it’s being torn apart.

For a long time afterward, I wandered in a daze, but I couldn’t cry.

I didn’t know if I was too devastated or simply not devastated enough.

In any case, no tears came… I just felt like a part of my soul had been ripped away.

This hollow, powerless sensation left me unable to cry or laugh—just numb, barely alive.

Even when I was isolated in the real world, I’d never felt like this.

During those days, as I had predicted, Bai Yang’s game quickly attracted a flood of “participants,” skyrocketing to become the most active game in the area. By the seventh day, someone had even won the grand prize of sixty-six “Dao” in the lottery.

Turning one “Dao” into sixty-six—nowhere else in the “Land of Finality” would you find a game like this.

Word of the “Bliss Bank” spread like wildfire. Its unique mechanics and irresistibly attractive “bank” system drew in countless powerful players, all eager to stake their “Dao.”

Every morning when I went to see Bai Yang, I’d find people he’d hired for two “Dao” each, enthusiastically handing out “lottery tickets” on his behalf.

If I happened to visit on the tenth day, I’d see swarms of “participants” scribbling notes, analyzing the latest “summary” displayed on the screen, strategizing their next move.

They acted like seasoned veterans, dissecting the “Zodiacs'” personalities and moods, boasting about their sharp insights and unparalleled understanding of the game.

But the truly smart ones never played.

Bai Yang, the mastermind behind it all, barely showed his face. Every time I went to see him, he was just sitting in his bank office, reading.

I’d never seen a “Zodiac” like him. After being promoted to “Earth-level,” he became even more relaxed than when he was “Human-level.”

Every day, he sat there collecting massive amounts of “Dao”—along with the occasional lives that vanished without a trace. His indifference left me bewildered.

Though I still talked to him every day, discussing all sorts of things, my mind wandered more and more.

Only then did I finally realize… the grief inside me was too overwhelming.

Jiang Ruoxue’s departure had wounded me deeply, but from the very beginning, I refused to show my pain.

So I didn’t tell anyone.

To keep others from noticing, I didn’t even dare to cry or laugh.

But my hands shook when I walked, my voice cracked when I spoke, and I fell silent when lost in thought.

I was truly miserable.

The only thing on my mind now was figuring out how to “move on.”

Funny enough… I happened to know of a group that supposedly helped people do just that.

Even though the group seemed bizarre and its leader downright eccentric, I genuinely wanted to join that “support group.”

Now I understood the desperation of those who “grasp at straws when critically ill.”

But when I arrived at Di She’s venue, I hesitated at the door.

Because the first thing I saw was the noose hanging outside.

Suddenly, Jiang Ruoxue’s voice echoed in my mind: *”If you’re so miserable, why not just die?”*

Yeah… maybe death would make things better.

Mimicking Di She’s example, I slowly slipped the noose around my neck, then relaxed my legs, letting the rope take my weight.

The crushing pressure instantly stole my breath. My entire head felt like it was swelling with blood.

My eyes and tongue bulged uncontrollably, and within seconds, everything went black.

All my senses were fading… I didn’t even know if I was already dead.

Just as I was about to lose consciousness, I suddenly felt a pair of icy hands lifting me. Then, the noose loosened, and I was gently laid on the ground.

*”Dang it! What the hell are you doing?!”*

A familiar voice rang in my ears—I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming.

*”Why the hell are you hanging yourself at my doorstep?! Talk about bad luck!”* the voice continued. *”I’ve got guests coming today!”*

After about a minute, my vision returned, and I slowly made out the figure in front of me.

A cold, panicked serpentine face.

Yep. Only by opening my eyes to a monster did I know this wasn’t a dream.

*”Di She…?”*

*”Aren’t you that brat who kept skipping my ‘support group’?”* Bai She snapped. *”Why do you always give me a heart attack?”*

For some reason, the moment Bai She set me down, my sorrow finally peaked.

I lay on the ground, covering my face with my arm, and the tears wouldn’t stop.

*”Oh jeez…”* Di She was taken aback. *”Hey, sis… let’s talk this out, okay? What’s wrong?”*

I wanted to say something, but the grief was too much—I couldn’t speak.

Bai She floundered helplessly in front of me.

He patted my shoulder, trying to comfort me, but for some reason, the more he did, the worse I felt.

I don’t remember being this kind of person…

If someone tried to console me, I’d usually pretend to be fine just to put them at ease.

But today, I was being unusually dramatic—Bai She kept comforting me, and I kept crying.

*”Ah… damn it… I forgot about this…”* Bai She seemed to remember something and abruptly stopped. *”Kid, I’m gonna step back. You just… cry it out.”*

Once he moved away, I did calm down quickly.

Maybe a good cry really helps—it had been ages since I’d let go like this.

I clumsily got up, brushing the dirt off my white dress, and when I looked up, Bai She was watching me worriedly from a distance.

I quickly wiped my tears and forced a smile. *”Sorry you had to see that…”*

*”You feeling better, kid…?”* Di She asked. *”What happened that was so bad? Who the hell tries to off themselves in a place where death’s always an option?”*

*”I…”* I shook my head, sighing deeply. *”I… had a falling out with my best friend…”*

*”A falling out?”* Bai She’s nonexistent eyebrows lifted. *”In the ‘Land of Finality’? That’s new.”*

Yeah… Bai She wouldn’t get it.

In this place where no one can be fully trusted, I’d had a friend more precious than any I’d known in the real world.

And now, she was gone too.