I checked the time—it was 5 p.m. I asked my parents to close up shop and headed back home with the cat and dog in tow. Xie Xiaoyu’s sudden appearance left my parents puzzled. After all, the girl was pretty, though a bit simple-minded and unable to speak.
I explained to them that she was the younger cousin of an old friend of mine, and I was just helping to take care of her. She was easygoing, incredibly strong, and not easily angered.
My mother asked, “What if Tutu sees her?”
I paused for a moment before replying, “I haven’t been in touch with her for a long time.”
My mother also hesitated, then asked, “What about Wushuang?”
I sighed. “She’s flying all over the place now—end of the year, lots of flights. Besides, she’s officially my little sister now.”
My mother sighed too. “You can’t just marry a silly girl, can you?”
Xie Xiaoyu seemed to understand my mother’s words and glared at her unhappily.
My mother chuckled. “Seems she’s not so silly after all—she can understand me.”
My father grumbled, “It’s not like you’re the one choosing a wife. A man without options is just a man who hasn’t made it in life.”
My mother stomped her foot. “Xiao Qinghe, you better explain—how many options did you have when you married me?”
My father immediately backtracked. “The first time I went to your family’s cottage for the matchmaking, you peeked at me through the door crack, and I was smitten. You were the only one for me.”
I laughed. “Dad, you’ve clearly watched *Meteor Shower* too many times.”
After dinner, I changed into some shabby clothes, picked up flowers from the florist, and rode my motorcycle to *Romantic Life*. By 8 p.m., the bar was starting to get crowded. Since I didn’t have Xue Youniang’s number, I waited inside for a while.
A handsome European guy approached and asked, “Evening. Let me buy you a drink. My Chinese isn’t great—maybe you can teach me?”
I eyed him warily. “What do you want?”
The guy blinked twice, then nodded. “Want.”
Xue Youniang, now dressed in men’s clothing with a trench coat and a cap, looked completely androgynous under the dim lights. She shoved the guy aside and spoke in a deliberately altered voice, “Scram. We’re together.”
I handed her the flowers. “Five hundred yuan.”
Xue Youniang smirked. “Since you’re here, why not stay for a drink?”
I shook my head. “Let’s go somewhere else.”
She grinned. “Fine, don’t come in. But then I won’t tell you what I came to say.”
Grumbling, I pushed open the door and found us a table by the window. No sooner had we sat down than a waiter brought over drinks, saying some guys had sent them over.
Xue Youniang swept her sleeve, sending the bottles and glasses crashing to the floor. She glared around the room, and sure enough, no one dared to look our way again.
I whispered, “Mother of mercy, how does anyone even like me like this?”
Xue Youniang smirked. “You’re exactly the type those pretty boys go for, Master Xiao. Turn around and look at three o’clock.”
I hadn’t noticed before, but now I saw them—Song Youwei and Chen Yongming.
Xue Youniang added, “There’s more fun coming.”
I quickly tugged my collar lower, hoping they wouldn’t recognize me.
“Alright, I give up,” I said. “Why did you drag me here?”
She pulled out two photos. “Who is this?”
I glanced at them—a woman in a red mask. “No idea.”
Xue Youniang sighed. “So you don’t know either.”
I asked, “Did you bring Xie Xiaoyu back?”
She nodded without denying it.
“And did you steal the seven corpses?”
“That was me.”
“Then did you order the hit on Jun-ge?”
She shook her head. “No. That was Gu Xiulian.”
I didn’t believe her.
“Let me explain,” she said, ordering a drink. “I took the seven corpses. Gu Xiulian borrowed one to stir up trouble between you and the Japanese.”
“Gu Xiulian told me he didn’t steal the bodies—guess he wasn’t lying,” I mused. “But why did you need them?”
“Simple,” she said. “For the woman in the red mask and what’s inside the stone coffin.”
I thought for a moment. “So both you and Gu Xiulian were after her.”
“Exactly.”
When the stone coffin was about to surface, Gu Xiulian and Xue Youniang wanted it. Gu Xiulian had planned to kill me, even dragging Uncle Jianguo into the mess, but I survived by sheer luck.
Then Gu Xiulian noticed the Japanese in Jiangcheng and redirected my attention toward them, hoping to eliminate me during the conflict. But before he could act, the red-masked woman took the coffin and vanished overnight.
Gu Xiulian then tried to ally with me against her.
Xue Youniang and Gu Xiulian ended up empty-handed—their seven corpses and three-year-old ghost child were useless.
By the time Xue Youniang caught up, the coffin was empty.
The red-masked woman was gone.
I pieced it together. “You two spun so many webs, only to get played in the end. Doesn’t that sting?”
Xue Youniang shrugged. “What can I say? She outsmarted us.”
“Where’s Gu Xiulian now?”
“You want him? So do I. Rumor has it he went to Korea for plastic surgery. The first time I met him was right here—he charmed the whole room. Now his face is ruined. Doubt Korea can fix that.”
I slammed the table. “He killed my martial uncle!”
Xue Youniang waved me off. “Save it for later. If you hear anything about the red-masked woman, call me.”
She stood up, paid the tab, then suddenly threw her drink in my face and shouted, “Lin Danan, you bastard!”
From the corner, Song Youwei jumped up at the commotion and spotted me.
“Nan-ge!” he called out.
Xue Youniang whispered, “Master Xiao, here’s your surprise.”
As Song Youwei rushed over, I bolted for the door, only to realize my shirt was somehow tied to the table.
“Nan-ge, wait!”
Xue Youniang watched, amused.
Chen Yongming followed Song Youwei. I barely escaped *Romantic Life* when Song Youwei caught up.
Outside, Chen Tutu and Gao Mo happened to be passing by.
Gao Mo said, “Someone told me Xiao Qi was here.”
Damn it—this was Xue Youniang’s so-called surprise.
Gao Mo eyed *Romantic Life* and muttered, “Tutu, isn’t this that infamous gay bar?”
Chen Tutu’s face darkened as she looked at me, then at Song Youwei and Chen Yongming chasing after me.
“Let me explain,” I pleaded. “It’s not what you think.”
Chen Tutu slapped me.
Song Youwei lunged forward. “Who the hell are you? How dare you hit my Nan-ge!”
Chen Yongming froze. “What did you call him?”
Song Youwei declared, “I call him Nan-ge!”
Chen Yongming sneered. “Unbelievable. So this is how you get back at me, Xiao? Over one slap? And now you’re stealing my friends too?”
I snapped, “Screw you. I don’t have time for this.”
Song Youwei added, “Nan-ge, no matter what your name is, you’re still my man. Don’t blame me for what happened in Lügang Town—I already dealt with Xia Jinrong.”
Chen Tutu and Gao Mo exchanged bewildered looks. They might not have understood the details, but they got the gist—multiple identities, tangled romances, revenge, betrayal, and one infamous slap.
Gao Mo pulled Chen Tutu back. “Master Xiao, I never imagined you were like this. I even praised you to Tutu. Now I feel sick. You little scoundrel—if I don’t teach you a lesson today, my name isn’t Gao Mo!”
Xue Youniang stood by the door, barely containing her laughter.
I was speechless. I turned and slapped both Song Youwei and Chen Yongming. “Get lost! I’m in no mood for this.”
Song Youwei nodded. “Nan-ge, whatever you say.”
Chen Tutu stepped forward, silent. I braced myself. “Tutu, you’ve got it all wrong.”
She grabbed my hands, then kneed me hard between the legs.
I crumpled to the ground, gasping. The girl didn’t hold back.
Chen Tutu and Gao Mo vanished into the night.
I groaned in pain. Chen Yongming dragged Song Youwei away.
Xue Youniang chuckled. “That girl’s ruthless.”
I spat, “You venomous snake.”
She smirked. “Beautiful women have always been deadly. Behave yourself, Master Xiao. And stop falling for every girl you see—it’s for your own good.”
With that, she left.
In less than an hour, she’d turned my life upside down. I never wanted to see her again.
And I never got paid for the damn flowers.
Uncle Jianguo called later. “Make sure you watch TV this Sunday. I’m on *If You Are the One*!”
I groaned. “Why didn’t you get the crew to interview me? I could’ve put in a good word. So selfish—can’t even share the spotlight?”
He laughed. “If they’d interviewed you, all the lights would’ve gone out before I even stepped on stage.”
I hung up. Without me there, his first impression alone would kill his chances. This was gonna be hilarious.
Back home, my parents were discussing New Year’s plans—stocking up in Jiangcheng before heading back.
That night, I set up a cot in the living room. Xie Xiaoyu and the cat slept in Xie Lingyu’s old room, while Little Rascal curled up beside me.
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