Chapter 175: Investigator of the Three Rural Issues

Uncle Bold’s involvement stemmed from another incident.

Another person.

Zhang Bold had a wife and children to support. If he died, I couldn’t bear the responsibility. Knowing where Uncle Bold was, I grabbed a helmet, stuffed the money in a nylon bag, locked it in the back of the car, and revved the engine. The vehicle roared to life, speeding out of the hospital, onto Beiguang Avenue, straight onto the Third Ring Road, heading toward the suburban pig farms and vegetable fields. Further out, we reached the territory of Xia Jinrong in Lügang Town.

Galloping through the cold wind was another way to express the passion of life. Outside the Third Ring Road, I spotted Zhang Bold wearing Liberation shoes, a green military coat, messy hair, and a Baisha cigarette clenched between his teeth, his legs shaking constantly to fend off the cold. Behind him, on the wall of a courtyard, the words “Huashan Piglet Farm” were scrawled, the large iron gate slightly ajar.

I honked the horn and called out, “Uncle Bold!”

Zhang Bold responded, “Over here!” Just then, he suddenly shouted, “Xiao Qi, run! Run!”

He flicked the cigarette butt to the ground and sprinted toward me. Sensing something was wrong, I noticed a group of piglets darting across the road from the opposite side of the pig farm—no, not piglets, but a gang of thugs.

The thugs rode motorcycles, some with bizarre hairstyles, standing out like a dazzling spectacle in the crowd.

“Stop right there! Stop, damn it!”

The leader, a flamboyant punk, had the most shocking voice—likely Xia Jinrong’s teenage brother-in-law.

At the same moment, the pig farm’s iron gate swung open, and a small truck loaded with a hundred or so piglets—our “second brothers”—emerged, squealing and grunting.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The gang of motorcyclists couldn’t brake in time, crashing straight into the truck. The truck driver, caught off guard by the sudden swarm of vehicles, swerved sharply, causing the truck to wobble and the doors to burst open. A hundred tiny, half-furred piglets tumbled out, having spent their entire lives confined inside the farm, never seeing the outside world.

Now, suddenly exposed to the vast unknown, they stared in awe at the distant viaduct, where a speeding Harmony Express train zoomed past. The piglets pondered—what exactly was harmony? Inside the iron gate, a muscular breeding boar, who did a thousand push-ups daily, scoffed at these naive piglets. *Back in my prime, I roamed Southeast Asia, conquered continents, pondered the meaning of existence—you were still liquid! And now you’re losing your minds over a moving train?*

*Seriously? Is this really worth the excitement?* But deep down, the boar lamented—*Who knew I’d end up as a breeding stud? Others think I live the high life, but really…*

The piglets squealed and scattered. The truck driver yelled, “Forget the dead guys, catch the pigs!” Workers from the farm rushed out, herding the piglets back inside.

Suddenly, the breeding boar remembered his youthful dreams. Bored no more, he leapt over the meter-high pen, charging out, knocking down two workers, and bolted through the gate into the new world.

*In my youth, I dreamed of running free in nature. Now that I’m old… can I still do it?*

The boar raised his snout to the sky and bellowed, “Sons, follow me! Let’s chase a new world!”

I pulled out my phone, captured the moment, logged into “Little Rascal Loves Kitten,” and posted: *”No cage can shackle the hearts of our second brothers seeking freedom! Big Brother, Master, where have you gone? When will you take them on the journey to the West?”*

Zhang Bold jogged over to my car, lit another cigarette, and watched the chaos with amusement.

Tempers flared, and a brawl broke out. The pig farm workers, well-fed on pig kidneys, were burly and tough. Despite their numbers, the thugs were no match.

After posting, I took Zhang Bold back to the city. I asked, “Uncle Bold, what brings you to Jiangcheng now?”

He replied, “Got a call saying the piglets here were cheap, so I came.”

I nodded and smiled. “No big deal.”

Uncle Bold asked, “Is this about that last incident?” I silently nodded in confirmation.

On the way upstairs, Half-Immortal called—tonight’s operation was ready.

Back home, my parents were cooking. Seeing Zhang Bold, they immediately switched to hometown dialect. Both he and my dad were kindred spirits, chatting away effortlessly.

As night fell, Uncle Bold insisted on finding a hotel, but my parents wouldn’t hear of it—guests don’t sleep outside. They told him to share my room. I said it was fine—I’d be out tonight—so he could have my bed.

Uncle Bold offered my dad a cigarette, venting about the scam by Eagle Flight Group. Many in their town had been duped—scammers were despicable. With Zhang Bold keeping Dad company, I bought some snacks, patted Little Rascal’s head, and told him to guard the house.

…

I threw on a coat and called Half-Immortal.

He arrived shortly, dressed sharply in a formal coat and polished shoes. We were set to meet at eight. I was about to take my beat-up Wuling when Uncle Jian-guo waved me off, jingling a key—a black Audi.

I laughed. “Half-Immortal, you’ve made it big!”

He grinned. “Big my foot—it’s rented. Tonight, you’re my bodyguard. I’m Researcher Ruan from the Major Rural Revitalization and Three Rural Issues Research Department. Got it?”

“What department?” For the first time since eating that bug, my hearing failed me.

Uncle Jian-guo enunciated, “Major Rural Revitalization and Three Rural Issues Research Department.” I mentally repeated it until it stuck. He added, “There are even longer ones.”

*How long could they get?* He then rattled off a 78-character department name.

Fortune-tellers and feng shui masters could turn black into white, a pig into a dog. Together, Uncle Jian-guo and I were trouble for someone.

He said, “County Chief Chen from Ning County is in town for a meeting. He’ll likely be at Paradise Club tonight. We’ll pay him a visit. Remember—you’re Lin Danan, I’m Ruan Sanjia.”

Fake names, but familiar ones.

I nodded. “Half-Immortal, so we’re getting Chief Chen to investigate Xia Jinrong?”

He scowled. “Not ‘Half-Immortal’—Researcher Ruan.”

A sultry voice piped up, “Is this County Chief Chen handsome?” Uncle Jian-guo and I exchanged glances.

Where did that come from?

I patted my pockets. “Ah, Madam Xia! Zhu Ruhua, the great beauty! You’ve been napping in my pocket. County Chief Chen won Ning County’s 37th beauty pageant—probably handsomer than Old Wang next door.”

Zhu Ruhua, in her green dress and tiny feet, practically glowed green with excitement, drooling before sucking it back. She urged us to hurry and meet the chief.

As the bodyguard, I opened the Audi’s door—officials loved these.

Uncle Jian-guo, hair slicked with egg whites, looked dashing. Hard-pack Zhonghua cigarettes in his pocket, he spoke in measured tones, oozing authority.

He snapped his fingers. “Tonight, we handle County Chief Chen.”

The drive was smooth. Soon, we reached Paradise Club. Rows of Audis and other luxury cars lined the entrance. Zhu Ruhua perched on my shoulder as we swaggered in—only to be blocked by a stone-faced bouncer. “Members only.”

I shoved him aside. “This is Researcher Ruan from the Agriculture Ministry. We have an appointment.”

Just then, Long Qishan appeared with two lackeys. “They’re with me.” The bouncer stepped aside.

Uncle Jian-guo huffed, “Is this how things work locally now?”

Inside, Long Qishan asked, “What’s the plan? About Brother Jun?”

I whispered, “Low profile. I’m digging for the mastermind too. You do your thing.”

He nodded. “Call if you need me.”

Paradise Club’s exterior was plain, but past a dingy corridor and up two flights, it transformed into a three-story palace of opulence. County Chief Chen, already tipsy, was on the first floor.

Uncle Jian-guo barged in, pretending confusion. “Wrong room?”

Chen, too drunk to care, pulled him in for more drinks.

Uncle Jian-guo rambled about work woes and forced drinking. Chen asked, “What do you do?”

“Don’t laugh—Major Rural Revitalization and Three Rural Issues Research Department. I’m a researcher.”

Chen frowned. “Rural issues? What rank?”

“We gather grassroots data, under the Agriculture Ministry. Wait—are you County Chief Wu? My mistake.” He made to leave, but Chen grabbed him. “Tonight’s on me! All the pretty girls you want!”

I stepped in. “Sir, you’re drunk. Let’s get you home.”

Chen signaled his aides, who whisked Uncle Jian-guo away.

Zhu Ruhua clapped at the sight of the balding, tipsy chief. “Gorgeous! Handsome! So dreamy!”

Chen rubbed his eyes. “I must be drunk. Why’s there a tiny old lady eyeing me like that?”

Uncle Jian-guo called, “County Chief Huang, changing venues?”

Chen, fearing I’d expose him, had his aide slip me a red envelope. I played along as we left.

The aide whispered, “Sir, Dr. Hu Qianlin’s in the restroom. Should we wait?”

Chen waved him off. “‘Miracle doctor’? He’s peed five times tonight. If he could fix my kidneys, I’d pluck my eyes out.”

The aide shut up.