I probably sang only about 12 songs during this small concert, so it didn’t last very long. After all, this wasn’t a planned performance, and I’m not a professional singer. It’s difficult for me to maintain my condition for a long time, and that screaming singing style had already made my throat very sore.
At the moment I was preparing to pack up my guitar, someone in the crowd suddenly suggested that they couldn’t just watch my performance for free, nor could they freely consume the drinks and food I provided. Based on the spirit of giving in order to receive, they started taking out cash from their wallets and placing it into my guitar case. Within moments, the case was filled with banknotes of various denominations. My assistant and Leyao stood respectively outside and inside the café, capturing this precious moment with their cameras.
The crowd had gradually dispersed when my assistant, holding the guitar case full of cash, came over and asked, “Director Zhao, what should we do with this money?”
I thought for a moment before replying, “Leave it at Mo Chou Café and use it as a bonus for the staff.”
The assistant nodded and began counting the money while I pushed open the café door and sat down opposite Leyao and Cao Jinfey. The bodyguards they had brought with them still stood imposingly at the café entrance. In fact, whenever Leyao appears in public, she hardly has any personal freedom.
Cao Jinfey said to me with deep feeling, “Zhaoyang, in the past I always couldn’t understand what exactly you idealistic youths were pursuing. But today, after experiencing it firsthand, I finally understand. The kind of tacit understanding and mutual trust between people is extremely rare in this materialistic society. Just now, Leyao and I specially noticed that about seventy percent of the audience were willing to pay for your performance…and this was all voluntary!”
“Actually, I was quite surprised by this situation myself!”
Leyao, while looking back at the footage they had just shot on her phone, joined the conversation, “We always question whether this world will ever get better, so we live in our own little worlds and are unwilling to give anything more to this big world. Between people, we’ve become increasingly cold and weary of relationships. The emergence of the literary path is like a quick-acting heart pill, changing how we view the mundane world and re-establishing the warmth between people. It makes people dare to receive and dare to give. So today’s phenomenon is the inevitable result of Zhaoyang’s efforts…Zhaoyang, we really do believe you’re doing something very meaningful!”
However, Cao Jinfey said, “But this literary path also required two rounds of investment and hundreds of millions of funds to build. In the end, the realization of idealism still rests on the foundation of realism…Only you entrepreneurs who have social responsibility and a conscience have the interest and qualifications to do it. It’s still too difficult for ordinary people to talk about idealism…”
Leyao glared at Cao Jinfey and said discontentedly, “What’s the point of pouring cold water like this?”
Cao Jinfey usually didn’t like verbal arguments with Leyao, so he just smiled. This time, I took over the conversation, my expression serious as I said, “What Cao said is not wrong. In the end, this path was forged with money and various resources. Without your influence and strong promotion, even with investment money, we probably wouldn’t have achieved the current results…But I’m not discouraged. Although we can’t change the world’s money-first rule, we can use this rule to guide people to accept more diverse values. After all, no one wants to live in a world dominated by extreme ideologies, right?”
This time, Leyao and Cao Jinfey finally demonstrated a marital默契, nodding simultaneously and bringing the topic to a close.
After drinking a cup of coffee, I suggested to the two of them that we go out for some alcohol. Leyao refused, saying that she had her period and it wasn’t suitable for her to drink. She then returned to the hotel first, which gave me and Cao Jinfey, a famous young man from the capital city, our first opportunity to have a drink together alone.
…
It was just the season for crayfish, so having some beer and spicy crayfish became the most enjoyable thing during summer. I invited Cao Jinfey to a crayfish restaurant near Mo Chou Road, ordered a pot of crayfish and some cold dishes, and we began to drink.
Although Cao Jinfey has a great reputation, he didn’t have much of the typical young master’s airs and could accept this kind of casual eatery. Our communication wasn’t awkward at all despite our different social standings.
After finishing a bottle of beer, we became more talkative. After inquiring about each other’s actual ages, we started calling each other brothers. In fact, Cao Jinfey and I were the same age, but I was born about ten days earlier, which was still quite a significant coincidence.
Cao Jinfey seemed to have some grievances to vent. After gulping down a large mouthful of beer, he said to me, “Zhaoyang, we’re both men. I won’t hold back some things anymore. Do you think my marriage with Leyao is meaningful?”
Although I had never discussed this topic with Cao Jinfey before, I knew a bit about his marital situation with Leyao. After a moment of silence, I replied, “It depends on how you both approach this marriage…In fact, people on the outside know that your union was out of family interests. However, since you both publicly display such affection, everyone else chooses not to say much about it.”
Cao Jinfey drank another cup of beer, looked at me for a long time, and then said, “We’ve been living together for quite a while. I know she seems indecisive on the surface, but she’s actually very firm at heart. So…she’s liked you for so many years. Am I really that foolish? All the things she’s done for you over the years have long surpassed the boundaries of friendship, but there’s nothing I can say about it. We both have this tacit understanding that neither of us will interfere in each other’s private lives. But is it really good for this state to continue endlessly?”
I didn’t have many opportunities to interact with Cao Jinfey, and this was the first time he had mentioned the complicated feelings between me, him, and Leyao. Because of the sensitive relationship among the three of us, I wasn’t sure how to respond at first. I raised my beer glass and took a sip, using the moment to think.
Finally, I told him, “I can tell that you’ve had enough of this situation. I suspect this is the real reason you came to find me today.”
“More or less. Actually, I’ve always wanted to find an opportunity to talk to you. I really don’t understand what Leyao is thinking. It seems like she really dislikes her current life and has devoted all her energy to her film career, which puts me in a difficult position. My parents don’t like her doing these things!… Do you understand what I mean?”
Of course, I understood what Cao Jinfey meant. After all, he hadn’t invested in Leyao’s film company, only giving her a sum of money. This clearly showed how caught he was between Leyao and his parents. The conversation between us became heavier, and I didn’t want to say too many irrelevant formalities. I directly asked, “Before I answer you, can you tell me how you feel about Leyao? Is it just the feeling between a nominal couple?”
“I…” Cao Jinfey’s face showed some confusion. He then raised his glass and drank the remaining beer before continuing, “How can I truly commit my feelings to a woman whose heart isn’t fully with me?”
“Is that so? If Leyao feels the same way as you do, then isn’t there a huge misunderstanding between you two? Because you both don’t trust each other, you think the other hasn’t given their true feelings, so you both live separately outside the marriage, seeking emotional support elsewhere, and end up feeling more and more empty!”
Cao Jinfey’s expression became somewhat grim, obviously touched by my words. He asked me doubtfully, “Do you really think Leyao has let go of her feelings for you after all these years?…If she has, why does she always come looking for you whenever she has free time? She never tries to keep her private time for me, her rightful husband!”
“Because every time she has free time, you, Master Cao, are probably in some other woman’s bed. How can she keep her private time for you? She comes to me just to avoid seeing it and to have someone to talk to about her troubles…” I softened my tone and sincerely told him, “You really should try to understand Leyao more. Although she, like you, comes from a wealthy family, after her parents’ divorce, she has already been living independently. These years, she has been busy making a living and living an ordinary life. So she doesn’t have that kind of aristocratic air. She’s actually like most women, longing not for a prestigious family but for a sense of security and a man who can weather the storms with her. That’s why she dislikes your uncontrolled private life, not because she has no feelings for you at all…She once told me that when you spend some time with her, she does feel happy!”
Cao Jinfey fell into silence… It seemed he was reflecting on himself.
I asked again, “Tell me, do you love Leyao, or is it just a man’s possessiveness? Even though you have affairs outside, you still expect Leyao to be devoted to you!…If you truly fulfill your responsibilities as a husband, I believe Leyao will also take your marriage seriously. After all, she’s not a foolish woman!”
“I…I love her. I probably won’t ever forget—a few months ago, she washed my clothes and made me breakfast, and I was genuinely happy the entire day, feeling like a man with a family… I’ve also tried to communicate with her and cultivate shared interests…” Cao Jinfey gave a self-mocking smile and continued, “Knowing she likes to play games, I even tried to learn gaming just to please her. In the end, she shifted her focus to making movies, while I myself got addicted to the games and ended up with the reputation of being a ‘game-playing young master’!”
Hearing Cao Jinfey’s complaints, I couldn’t help but feel a mix of emotions. Indeed, before Leyao became famous, she was an avid gamer, not only helping promote game posters but also playing games day and night to relieve the pressure from reality. However, for Cao Jinfey, a rich young master, to have the intention to cater to her interests was enough to prove that he had feelings for Leyao. It’s just that these two were both too proud and too stubborn, unwilling to truly humble themselves in front of each other, letting this relationship wither away before it could even blossom.
Cao Jinfey’s emotions were thus ignited, and he began to drink excessively as a way to vent. But I had already figured out the crux of the issue between him and Leyao. In the end, it was two people who didn’t have to worry about food and shelter who had made things so complicated for themselves. Fortunately, Cao Jinfey had already decided he wanted to change this situation, and he hoped I could convey these thoughts to Leyao. However, I hoped he would take the initiative to talk to Leyao, at least first sincerely promising that he would no longer go to other women’s beds…and then staging a classic story of a prodigal son returning to the right path!
As for me and Leyao…some things and some emotions should have been buried in the river of time and shouldn’t be brought up for discussion anymore!
In fact, Cao Jinfey still had some misunderstandings about us. He said that Leyao had done many things for me that went beyond the boundaries of friendship, but Leyao had also worried endlessly for Luo Ben, a man who liked to cause trouble. I wasn’t a special case! It’s easy to imagine that if Luo Ben were still in the country, Leyao wouldn’t have come looking for me so frequently.
…
That night, I easily got Cao Jinfey drunk, and I supported him back to the hotel. Leyao was waiting at the elevator, and upon seeing the scene, she was furious and said, “Did you give him some kind of potion? How could he get this drunk?”
I helped Cao Jinfey into the elevator before replying, “He’s got things on his mind; how could he not get drunk?”
Leyao didn’t listen to me and started scolding, “Zhaoyang, you’re such a bad guy. Anyway, it’s me who has to deal with him tonight, not you…I don’t care, you take him back to your room tonight. I’m not taking care of this drunkard!”
Although she said that, she still opened the hotel room door and, with great effort, helped me carry Cao Jinfey to the bed. Then she sat on the sofa, drinking hot water and catching her breath…
I poured myself a cup of hot water and, after finishing it, said to Leyao, “You know, Cao Jinfey tried to find common ground with you. He even took up gaming as a hobby in private. Really, your husband’s reputation as a ‘gaming young master’ was entirely due to his feelings for you!”
“Is that true?”
“He told me this himself while he was drinking just now. But later you got into making movies, so his plan fell through…”
Leyao looked at Cao Jinfey and still questioned, “Zhaoyang, you can’t just make things up to try to resolve our conflict, right?…You say he played games for me, then tell me, which game did he play?”
“Uh, we didn’t get into such details…You can just ask him yourself when he wakes up.”
Leyao didn’t press further, but instead became interested in my gaming company. She asked again, “By the way, when will the mobile game your company developed be launched? I can’t wait to try it out!”
I joked, “May I ask if you’re a RMB player? Our game only welcomes RMB players!”
Leyao scoffed, “Sister, from the time I started playing games, the amount of RMB I’ve spent is beyond calculation. You should open your eyes wide and quickly please me because standing in front of you is a super RMB player!”
…
After chatting with Leyao for a while about the game’s development progress, I returned to my room, planning to find an opportunity for her and Cao Jinfey to have a good conversation. After all, they were meant to spend their lives together, and I truly hoped they could be like normal couples, full of love and the desire to grow old together. Leyao, a woman who had never truly experienced much happiness, really needed a husband who would love her wholeheartedly.
Four days after I left Nanjing, under my urging, Anqi and Zhang Yixi finally changed their itinerary at the last minute, flying directly from Japan to the United States to deliver the letter I entrusted to them to Mi Cai. This was the first time since Mi Cai left that I had taken such an active step to contact her. Although I had promised her that I would wait for her return with a calm heart, not hearing from her for a long time had pushed me to the edge of my patience. I really wanted to know how she was living now and whether she missed me as much as I missed her?
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